Chapter 4

It was getting harder and harder to breathe.

It felt like a huge rock was sitting on my chest.

I jumped to my feet.

The chair made a harsh screech across the floor.

"Sorry, I need to use the restroom," I said.

I almost bolted down the hallway and rushed into the restroom at the end.

I locked the stall door behind me.

I slumped against the door, sucking in deep, ragged breaths.

Then the tears burst out, flooding down my face like a dam breaking.

I pulled out my phone, my hands shaking so badly that I fumbled the password three times.

I wanted to call for help.

But as I scrolled through my contacts, it hit me, I didn't have a single friend I could call.

Finally, I opened the email from the Alpine Sound Festival curator.

That was my only hope.

The only place that proved I still had any worth.

Knock, knock, knock!

Someone was banging hard on the door.

"Mia, get out here right now!" Mom shouted.

It was my mom.

"What are you hiding in there? Are you trying to make me a laughingstock in front of the whole department?" Mom demanded.

I held my breath, not daring to make a sound.

"I'm counting to three. If you don't come out, I'll have security break the door down." Mom warned.

Mom counted, "One."

"Two." she continued.

I yanked the door open.

My mom stood outside, her face cold, her gaze cutting into me like a knife.

"Think you're all that now, huh?" she snapped.

She snatched my phone right out of my hand.

The screen was still lit up, stuck on that email from the Alpine Sound Festival.

She glanced at it and gave a mocking laugh.

"You're still hung up on this?" she sneered.

"Mom, give it back!" I cried.

I lunged for it.

She stepped back and tossed my phone straight into the sink.

Then she turned on the faucet.

The water rushed out, instantly flooding over my phone.

The screen flickered a few times, then went completely dark.

I just stood there, frozen, my mind completely blank.

That old phone held every handpan track I'd ever recorded, along with all my contact information.

It was my only link to the Alpine Sound Festival.

"Are you crazy?" I shouted, my voice shaking.

I stared at my mom, eyes wide, unable to believe what she'd just done.

"I'm saving you," Mom said, her voice icy.

She grabbed a tissue and wiped her hands clean.

"This way, you'll stop chasing these impossible dreams for good.

"You're just a loser who can't even act normal around people.

"You really think you can take that piece of junk to the Alpine Republic and not make a fool of yourself?" Mom asked.

She tossed the tissue into the trash.

"Don't even think about leaving the front desk this afternoon."

"Once you finally learn your lesson, then you can come home," Mom said.

She turned and walked away.

I stared at my phone, submerged in the sink.

The water kept running.

It flooded the screen, washing away the last bit of hope I had left.

I reached in and pulled my phone out of the water.

Water kept dripping from the phone, one drop after another.

Just like the tears that wouldn't stop.

I desperately wiped the water off my phone, then pressed and held the power button.

But the screen never lit up again.

*****

For the next three days.

I drifted around like a ghost, dragged to the front desk right on schedule every day.

The nurses, who at first felt sorry for me, eventually stopped even noticing I was there.

Sometimes they'd even send me off to pick up a package or run some errands.

"You're just sitting here anyway, might as well get some exercise." they'd say.

I just went along with it.

As long as I could get away from that seat where everyone stared at me, I would do anything.

On the fourth night.

My mom came home, looking unusually cheerful.

For once, she'd actually put a box of sliced fruit on the table.

"Have some," she said.

I didn't touch it, just kept a wary eye on her, not letting my guard down for a second.

"Tomorrow, there's a big open lecture at St. James Medical College, it's a big deal, and I'm the main speaker," she said.

She leaned back in her chair, making it clear she wasn't taking no for an answer.

"You need to be there and do exactly as I say." she added.