Chapter 3
That was because if I did, they would just hit me harder.
They taunted me again. "Hey, Noella, your older sister gets everything. So why won't your mom even buy you a bra? Is it because she doesn't love you?"
I protested agitatedly, "No, that's not true! Mom loves me. She loves me the most! She just doesn't like it when I spend money needlessly."
My response cracked everyone up, and they beat me even harder.
Just when I thought I might die at their hands, the leader yanked my hair and shoved a photo in my face.
"Yago is my boyfriend. Stay away from him, you little tramp, or I'll make you regret it every time I see you!" she hissed.
That was a photo of me, and in the background, there was a group of guys under a tree with their eyes glued on me. And Yago Zunker was one of them.
This leader in front of me was Yago's girlfriend.
When they finally left. I wept as I picked up my clothes from the ground.
It was already late. I have to get home quickly.
But just then, the bathroom door opened again, and blinding light spilled in.
I shrank back in fright, thinking that those girls had come back.
Only after my eyes got used to the glare did I see a few grown men standing there.
"Why is there a girl in here?" one of them said.
They were drunkards, and the way they stared at me made me feel sick to my stomach.
However, I knew exactly what they were thinking.
I stammered, "What do you want... Don't come any closer!"
The light from outside disappeared, and the toilet plunged into darkness again.
Once more, I was forcefully slammed onto the floor and pinned down.
They stripped me until I was completely naked.
The stench of the toilet mixed with the stink of booze on them made me want to vomit.
I cried and screamed hysterically, "No, don't touch me! Mom can't stand girls who seduce men. I'm not one of those girls! I'm not…"
But even when I had become hoarse from screaming, they still didn't stop.
*****
I lay there, watching the ceiling vacantly.
"I'm sorry, Mom. I'm not a good girl anymore," I murmured hoarsely.
The guys left after hurling insults and curses at me.
They even took nude photos and videos of me.
They threatened me, saying that if I dared to call the police, they would leak those photos and videos online and destroy me for good.
I shook my head frantically. I couldn't let this happen.
I had already given Mom enough trouble today. I couldn't give her any more trouble. She would be very sad and angry.
Then I wondered fearfully whether Mom would stop loving me if she found out what just happened…
*****
I didn't remember how I got home. By the time I finally made it to the front door, my legs were shaking so badly I could barely stand.
Standing there, I overheard Mom's gentle voice through the crack in the door.
"Yolaine, I will take you to buy that dress you like tomorrow, okay?"
Mom only spoke this gently when she was talking to my older sister.
I leaned closer to the door and took in the sound of Mom's gentle voice, the voice that I yearned for so much.
I fantasized that someday, Mom would speak to me with the same tenderness she showed Yolaine.
"Really, Mom? But that dress is from Mumu, and it costs 1,000 dollars! Isn't that too expensive?" Yolaine asked.
"Not at all. Anything for my daughter is worth it. Besides, your dad sent this month’s pay back today, so whatever you want, I will buy it for you tomorrow," Mom replied.
Upon hearing the news about Dad, I couldn’t wait to go inside.
Mom never allowed me to call Dad. She would only talk a little about him when he sent money back each month.
Then I heard Yolaine speak. "But Mom, maybe we should get Noella some bras tomorrow too?"
At the mention of my name, Mom's gentleness vanished completely.
"Absolutely not! That shameless girl who only knows how to seduce men. I don't have such a daughter! So she can forget about spending a single penny of my money or her dad's wages. She looks like a vixen, seducing her own father at home and other men outside!"
I stumbled back a couple of steps.
From the age of three, I often heard words like "vixen," "slut," and "whore" from my mother.
This was because I was nothing like Yolaine.
Yolaine looked just like Mom, but I took after my aunt, and the older I got, the more I resembled her.
That was why Mom hated me so much.
She refused to hug me or even take care of me. She gave all her affection to Yolaine.
Once, I fainted at home because I hadn't eaten, and Dad found me and rushed me to the hospital.