Chapter 1
I'd been with Bailey Davidson for 5,480 days, from eighteen to thirty-four.
When his business went under, I became a model just to help him dig out of debt.
I ended up with anorexia, all just to keep my body in shape.
Starting from when I turned twenty-five, every May 1st, I'd drag Bailey to try on wedding dresses and get our marriage license.
The first time, he said we didn't have enough money and wanted to buy a bigger house for us to start our life together.
The second time, he said his secretary, Clarissa James, was sick and he had to go to the hospital to look after her.
The third time, he said he'd promised to be at Clarissa's first runway show.
After that, Bailey always turned me down because of his little secretary.
While I was hospitalized for anorexia, Bailey was off taking his secretary out for a day at the amusement park, riding roller coasters together.
"Clarissa grew up poor and never got to visit an amusement park. I'm just making her childhood wish come true," Bailey said.
By the ninth time I tried to propose at thirty-four, I was worn out. I just couldn't do this anymore.
Bailey spent all of Labor Day waiting for me to pop the question, but I never did.
When he tried to text me again, he realized I'd blocked him.
"Where's Vivian?" Bailey asked.
His assistant looked at him, totally confused.
"Ms. Mercer left two days ago," the assistant replied. "Didn't you know?"
Bailey just stood there, stunned by what the assistant had just told him.
"She quit?" Bailey blurted out.
"Who gave her the green light for that?" he demanded.
"How come HR didn't tell me?" Bailey muttered, still trying to process the news.
Even though the assistant was confused, he still tried to explain.
"Ms. Mercer is the HR manager," the assistant said.
"If she wants to quit, she just hands in her resignation. That's what you told us," the assistant added.
Bailey's mind went numb, and he spoke without thinking.
"Vivian isn't in the model department..." Bailey began, but he was about to say "manager" and stopped short.
That's when it hit him that three months ago, he'd already transferred me out of the model department.
Clarissa was originally Bailey's assistant.
But after she accidentally saw the models' runway show, she pleaded with Bailey to let her join and learn the ropes.
"Clarissa wants to learn how to walk like a model. Can you teach her?" Bailey said.
Bailey saw the look in my eyes and reached out to hold my hand.
"Vivian, just do it for me, okay?" he coaxed.
"No. She doesn't have any real training or experience," I shot back.
Seeing I wasn't budging, Bailey's brow furrowed, but he tried to stay patient.
"Let's get married this Labor Day, okay?" Bailey said softly, trying to coax me.
"If Clarissa learns more, she can keep me posted about you," he added.
I swallowed the uneasy feeling and nodded, agreeing.
I really loved him, and I truly wanted to marry him.
I'd trained new models before, but this was the first time I had to start from zero with someone who had absolutely no experience.
No sooner had I agreed than Clarissa walked in through the office door.
"Vivian, I hope you'll show me the ropes," Clarissa said with a bright smile.
With that, she reached out her hand.
The sapphire blue bracelet on her wrist caught my eye, almost painfully so.
Being with Bailey for so many years, every time he wanted to buy me something, I'd just turn him down.
Guess I just got used to pinching pennies to help him pay off his debts.
Even now that all the debt was gone, I still couldn't make myself spend money on myself.
I found the receipt for that sapphire bracelet just a few days ago, while I was doing his laundry.
I was planning to take it back the moment he handed it to me.
Guess it was never mine to begin with.
Bailey caught me zoning out at the bracelet, a hint of guilt flickering in his eyes as he spoke.
"Vivian, what's wrong? Do you like that bracelet?" he asked.
I snapped out of it, shook my head, and took Clarissa's hand.
It was fine. He was just rewarding an employee.
I was finally going to marry Bailey.
I kept telling myself that, trying to brainwash myself into believing it, just to numb the pain inside.
Three, maybe even four years had gone by without Bailey giving me a single gift.
But all the mental pep talks I'd given myself crumbled the moment Clarissa spoke.
"Vivian, do you like this? Bailey picked it out just for me. It's one of a kind," Clarissa said.
"But if you want it, Vivian, I'd gladly give it to you," she added with a smile.
Clarissa was about to take off the bracelet and give it to me, but Bailey stopped her.
"Alright, Clarissa, what I give you is yours to keep," Bailey said.
"Vivian's so skinny, even the smallest size wouldn't fit her. Just keep it, it'd just go to waste otherwise," he added.
"Come on, Vivian, you're not a kid anymore. Why are you still eyeing stuff meant for younger girls? If you want something, go buy it yourself. Staring at other people's things is kinda rude," Bailey said.
Bailey knew damn well why I was this skinny.
He knew I hated it when people talked about how thin I was, but he still went ahead and said it.