Chapter 2

My phone rang again. This time, it was David.

I stared at the screen, and for the first time, the caller ID "honey" felt like a slap in the face. I let it ring until it went to voicemail. A few seconds later, it rang again.

I took a deep breath and answered, trying to sound normal. "Hello?"

"Hey, babe, where are you?" David's voice was cheerful, with some background noise like he was out somewhere. "Mom said you're coming home for dinner tonight. I'm almost done here. Want me to come pick you up?"

"No, it's fine," I said. "I'll pick up Lucas and head straight home."

"Alright, I'll head over to my parents' place. By the way, your voice sounds a bit hoarse. Are you feeling okay?"

"It's nothing. I'm just a little tired."

"Don't push yourself too hard. Come home and get some rest," he said, his voice dropping to that familiar, affectionate tone. "I miss you."

Back then, hearing that would make my heart melt.

Now, my stomach twisted up in knots.

"Sure," I mumbled, and then hung up.

He missed me?

Who exactly did he miss?

*****

At the kindergarten gate, kids came pouring out like a flock of birds.

Lucas was wearing the blue striped T-shirt I'd picked out for him that morning, his little backpack slung over his shoulders. When he saw me, his eyes lit up, and he ran over with his arms wide open. "Mommy."

He threw himself into my arms, his little head nuzzling against my neck, smelling like milk and sunshine.

I hugged him tight, almost too tight.

This was my son. The son I carried for nine months, the one I almost died to bring into this world.

I looked at his face, so much like David's, and the way his smile curved looked just like his dad's. I used to think that was proof of their father-son bond.

But now, it was totally different.

"Mommy, you're squeezing me too tight." Lucas squirmed in my arms, then looked up at me with his big, round eyes. "Mommy, what's wrong? Your eyes are all red."

I blinked quickly and forced a smile. "It's nothing, honey. Just got some sand in my eye."

"Let me blow it out for you." He stood on his tiptoes, his little hands gripping my shoulders, and blew gently at my eye, his face full of pure concentration.

His warm breath tickled my eyelids.

My heart felt like it was being squeezed by an invisible hand, so tight that I could barely breathe.

"There, all gone," I said, kissing his forehead. "Come on, let's go to your grandma and grandpa's for dinner."

"Yay. Grandpa said we're having fish today." Lucas cheered.

He grabbed my hand, skipping along beside me.

I watched his happy little self, and my throat was all choked up.

That was my dear child.

What if one day, he found out the man he'd called "Dad" for five years was actually his brother?

What if he learned the "Grandpa" he'd always relied on was actually his father?

How would he feel?

What would the world look like to him then?

I couldn't bring myself to think about it.

*****

When we got to my in-laws' place, the smell of dinner was already drifting out.

Helen came to the door wearing an apron, her face lighting up when she saw Lucas. "Oh, my sweet boy is home. Come on in. Grandma washed some strawberries for you."

Richard came over from the living room, still holding his newspaper. When he saw Lucas, his usually serious face broke into a smile. "Lucas, what did you learn at kindergarten today?"

"Grandpa. I got a star sticker." Lucas pulled a star sticker out of his backpack, showing it off like a treasure.

"That's awesome." Richard bent down and picked him up, his movements smooth and natural. "That's my Carter boy. Always clever."

I stood at the door, watching the scene unfold.

The grandpa was doting on his grandson, and it was the picture of family bliss.

What a sweet scene. But all I felt was a cold chill creeping up my spine.

Richard was holding Lucas, and Lucas had his arms wrapped around his neck. From certain angles, you could really see the resemblance in their faces.

I'd never paid attention before. Or rather, I'd never considered that possibility.

"Emily, what are you doing standing there? Come on in," Helen called out. "We're waiting for you. David just called. He said there's traffic, so he'll be a bit late."

I stepped inside, feeling a bit stiff and awkward.

"Helen, let me help you," I said, trailing Helen into the kitchen.

The soup was bubbling away on the stove. Helen was chopping vegetables, her hands moving quick and sure.

"No need, it's almost done. Go sit down and rest for a bit. You look a little pale. Have you been working too hard lately?" Helen glanced back at me, her eyes full of concern.

But right now, that concern felt like it was hidden behind a veil.

Did she know?

Did she know what was really going on between her husband and her grandson?

If she knew, how did she keep up the act of being the loving grandma for five whole years?

And if she didn't, then she was as much in the dark as I was. We were both pathetic.

"Yeah, I'm a bit tired," I said, leaning against the counter. Trying to sound casual, I asked, "Helen, what made Richard want to go fishing today? Didn't he always say it was too boring after he retired?"

"Who knows." Helen smiled. "Maybe some old colleagues invited him. He came back in a good mood, said he caught a big one and insisted on steaming it for you. Said it's your favorite."

Richard was always decent to me.

But that was all. He was polite, but also a bit distant. Not even close to the way he doted on Lucas.

I always thought it was just that grandparents loved their grandkids more.

Now, I couldn't help but wonder if there was something else mixed in with that affection.