Chapter 1
It was the fifth birthday of my son, Lucian Lance. While helping with the cooking in the kitchen, I found out that he felt embarrassed by me and hired himself a "mom".
My mother-in-law blinked in surprise, then said approvingly to my husband, Charles Lance, "That really is my grandson, a clever little brain."
Charles nodded at his new "wife", and jovially said to her, "Lucian can be a handful. Thank you for your hard work, Ms. Clark."
That's right, Lucian's new mom was none other than his tutor, Evelyn Clark, a woman with elegant bearings and a radiant smile.
And no one opposed such an arrangement.
As Lucian's classmates arrived one after another, everyone gathered around the feast table to celebrate, chatting and exchanging gifts.
Despite feeling poignant, I told Lewis to place Lucian's favorite dish of braised lobsters right in front of him.
Looking at me strangely, the nanny turned and left.
My son stormed into the kitchen, sneered coldly, "Lobsters count as gift, ah?
"Isn't it pathetic? Just stay in the kitchen. Don't cause any trouble.
"The best gift you can give is to let me replace you with a presentable mom."
I was still frozen in shock when my father called, his voice slurred in a drunk tone. "My darling... could you send me $70 for allowance?"
After blocking his phone number, I untied my apron and headed outside the villa.
*****
That day was also my birthday.
But no one cared.
Not the son I almost died giving birth to, not the man I lived with day and night, nor the father I spent years looking after. Not a single one of them remembered.
The only one who ever cared about me was my mom, who happened to drown in a river and passed away 20 years ago.
The cold wind cut through me like knives, but I felt nothing like a walking corpse.
By the time I realized what I was doing, I was already surrounded by people.
Some shouted, others tried to console me.
After someone pulled me out of the water with great force, I was still in a dreamy state, just clutching myself, soaked, shivering.
"Sweetie, what made you run into the river on such a cold day? You must be freezing." Someone approached me and said in a gentle and warm tone, softly patting my back.
I startled and turned to see an elder lady I didn't know. She looked really benevolent.
Of course, mean people wouldn't have bothered to try to save me.
I heard that it was her son who pulled me out.
I wanted to thank them, but I couldn't get the words out.
"I just..." I mumbled quietly and began to weep uncontrollably.
How could I say it?
As a woman near thirty years old, how could I possibly admit that I jumped into the river just because I thought I saw my mom.
I was not a child anymore so I had no privilege to be overly emotional.
"I'm... Okay. Thank you, lady, and thanks to your sir," I managed to say.
I clenched the sand in my hand, used my knees to wipe away the tears, and forced a smile uglier than crying.
The elder lady sighed, gently patted my back, and said softly, "There's always a way out, sweetie. You're still young. Cherish yourself. My son's about your age, so I really do understand.
"Just imagine how devastated your family would be if anything happened to you."
Her words elicited a bitter smile on my face.
The elder lady's concern was in vain. Not everyone had someone waiting for them at home like her son did.
That so-called family of mine.
My presence or absence made no difference at all.
"Sweetie? Sweetie, are you okay?" the elder lady asked.
Her anxious tone snapped me out of my thoughts, I looked up and saw a circle of onlookers around me.
Realizing how I was holding everyone up, I quickly apologized.
"S-sorry, I... I—" I stammered.
Some people raised voice, trying to comfort me.
"It's alright."
"Everyone goes through tough times."
"Totally understand."
"Just hang in there. Things will get better."
I thought to myself, "Will my situation really improve? I don't know."
But with all the warm-hearted people around me, I felt much comforted.
The elder lady offered to help me contact my family. I made a bitter laugh, but gave her Charles' phone number anyway.
Other than the Lance family, where else could I possibly go?
My dad, a gambling addict, sold our old house long ago.
He never cared about anything except asking me for money.
I asked myself, "With nothing but a high school degree and no skills, where else can I go except the Lance family?
"Am I really to end up sleeping under a bridge?"