Chapter 3

After Evan left, I headed to the front desk to check out.

When I handed the key card back to the receptionist, her expression cycled through pity, shock, disbelief, and something that looked a lot like secondhand embarrassment.

I pretended not to notice, but I silently memorized the hotel's location and swore to myself that I would never set foot in this place again.

The snake I had shoved into my bag stayed perfectly still, coiled up without making a single sound.

If it weren't for the weight dragging on my shoulder, I would have thought the thing had already slipped away.

That silent stubbornness was just like Blake, the brooding, tight-lipped show-off. If I weren't worried about scaring everyone around me, I would have dumped it on the sidewalk right then and there and let it fend for itself.

It wasn't until I pushed open my front door that it finally hit me. Blake wasn't some ordinary snake. He could shift into human form, which meant all my worrying had been completely pointless.

*****

My mom was in the living room doing yoga when she froze mid-pose at the sight of me walking in. She asked, "Honey, what are you doing back? I thought you said you were volunteering this weekend and wouldn't be home."

I kept a straight face and answered without missing a beat. "I did go. But there wasn't much I could actually help with, so I just made a small donation and came back early."

[Small?? That was hundreds of thousands of dollars! More like a "small" fortune!]

[Girl just redefined the word "small." I can't with her. Switching to a cooking channel!]

Nobody ever said helping a broke college guy didn't count as charity work, right? Evan was that pitiful, and if I didn't step up for him, who would?

My mom's face lit up instantly.

She gushed, "Oh, my baby girl is so amazing! You're running out of spending money, aren't you? Mommy will send you another 300 thousand later."

I hadn't even had the chance to say "thanks, Mom" before the comments beat me to it.

[Mom, don't you remember me? I'm the daughter you never knew you had!]

[Mom!]

Wait. Was that even okay?

I had no words.

*****

After I went upstairs, I carried the snake into the bathroom and dropped it into the bathtub.

I'd honestly wanted to throw it straight into the toilet, but I was afraid the second I flushed, it would go "poof" and turn into a full-grown man right in front of me. Just imagining that scene was terrifying enough.

I sat on the edge of the tub and turned on the faucet, then texted my best friend, Amelia Cooper. [Do you know what a snake's natural enemy is?]

Amelia replied: [Snakeskin boots?]

I was speechless.

Amelia tried again. [St. Patrick?]

I was speechless.

The comments lost it.

[LMAOOO how is someone this naturally funny?!]

[I can't compete with you gifted comedians!]

[Girl, Amelia needs to take those back. She's posting our jokes before we even can!]

This was what happened when someone spent too much time shitposting online. They couldn't be serious for a single second.

But Amelia still had a shred of decency left, because she remembered to check on me.

Amelia: [What happened? Did another snake get into your house? Why does it keep showing up at your place? Were you a snake charmer in a past life or something?! My sincerest apologies, Your Serpent Highness!]

I was speechless.

Amelia: [Girl, you are absolutely unhinged.]

Amelia quickly returned to seriousness and sent another message.

[But wait, I remember you actually like snakes, don't you? Didn't you go on and on a few years ago about wanting a corn snake or a hognose?]

She was right. I had stopped being afraid of snakes a long time ago.

After that incident on my fifth birthday, the little black snake kept showing up in my life out of nowhere.

It would appear in my backpack, on my bed, on the couch, and even in the bathroom.

I had my suspicions about Blake, but I didn't confirm its source until today.

At first, it scared the hell out of me. But after it happened enough times, I realized the little thing had no intention of hurting me. If anything, it acted like a clingy pet that just wanted to cuddle up next to me.

Eventually, the fear faded away completely. I had practically watched it grow up, and I knew in my gut whether it was good or bad.

A few years ago, I even considered getting a pet snake because of it. Unfortunately, my mom had a mean right hook, so I dropped that idea pretty fast.

Now that I knew the snake was actually Blake, I had a strong feeling he had done it all on purpose.

I pressed my lips together and couldn't stop thinking about it.

My mom had always liked Blake, and ever since our families arranged our marriage, she liked him even more. But if she ever found out that Blake was actually a snake, she probably wouldn't have let me marry him.

Then again, if I told her outright, she would probably have me committed to a psych ward.

I couldn't help but sigh.