Chapter 5
Anna pushed her suitcase aside and flopped onto the couch, stretching lazily.
"Andrew was in such high spirits today. He even gave me a bracelet right at the airport," she said.
She lifted her wrist and let the thin silver chain dangle.
"Pretty, right?" she asked.
"Yeah," I replied.
"By the way, how's the wedding coming along?" she asked.
She seemed to remember it suddenly and just tossed out the question.
I stayed calm.
"Everything's off—the hotel's canceled, the flowers are gone, and I even cancelled the cake," I said.
Anna's hand froze in midair.
"What did you just say?" she asked.
"Didn't you say you wanted it simple? I figured the simplest way is just not to have it at all," I replied.
"Ethan, what do you mean by that?" she demanded, shooting up from the couch.
"You canceled the wedding? Who told you to do that?" she demanded.
I looked up at her.
"You said I could handle everything about the wedding, didn't need to check with you," I replied.
"I said to keep it simple, not to cancel it!" Anna's voice shot up a couple of notches.
"Are we still getting married or not?" she demanded.
I set my cup down.
"What do you think?" I asked.
"These past ten days, you were taking engagement photos with Andrew, traveling to Silverlake, wearing his scarf around your neck and his bracelet on your wrist. You're pregnant with his baby, living at his place, spending time with his family," I said.
"Where am I in any of that?" I asked.
Anna's face changed.
"Did you look at my Instagram?" she asked.
Didn't you send it to me yourself?
I didn't say anything, just looked at her.
She turned her head away, her tone still sharp.
"I was just helping Andrew fulfill his wishes. You know that. That trip was the last thing on his list. From now on, I'll focus on the wedding," she said.
"Really? The last thing?" I shot back.
I just laughed.
"Anna, you said the engagement photos were his last wish last month. The month before, it was going to the doctor with him. And before that, it was helping him with the artificial insemination.
"Every time, you say it's the last thing. But there's always something else right after."
Anna opened her mouth, but nothing came out.
She paused for a few seconds, her voice getting a bit softer.
"I know you're hurting, but Andrew's really running out of time..."
I stood up.
"He's dying, so you'll do anything for him. But what about me?" I asked.
"I've loved you for twelve years. From the day you transferred to my school in eighth grade, I fell for you.
"I waited seven years for you to finally say yes to being my girlfriend, and then another five years for you to agree to marry me.
"Twelve years, Anna. Twelve years.
"I put down the deposit; I picked out the wedding dress; I booked the hotel; and I sent out the invitations.
"And in the end, you put on the dress I chose for you, and stood beside another man."
Anna had never seen me talk to her like this before.
Her eyes started to well up with tears.
"I didn't cheat on you. There's nothing going on between me and Andrew," she said, her voice trembling.
"You're carrying his baby, and you call that nothing?" I shot back.
The room went quiet for a few seconds.
Anna's face went pale.
"How did you know?" she asked.
Wasn't it you who wanted me to know?
When Andrew posted that pregnancy test on Instagram, he didn't bother with any privacy settings. Everyone could see it.
I didn't answer her question.
"The pregnancy test says four weeks. So you did it before you even mentioned the artificial insemination to me," I said.
"You never cared about my opinion. You just told me what you'd already decided," I added.
Anna's lips moved, but no words came out.
After a long pause, she finally looked up.
"So what? The baby's already on the way. Why are you digging up old stuff now?" she said.
"We'll still get married. Once the baby's born, Andrew's family can raise it. It won't change anything for us," she added.
I laughed.
For real this time.
"Won't change anything?" I shot back.
"Anna, you're carrying another man's baby, and you want me to walk down the aisle with you and just smile like everything's fine?
"Wake up."
My words stung her, and tears started streaming down her face.
"Ethan, I only agreed to marry you because of you. Do you even know that?" she choked out.
"If Andrew hadn't gotten sick, I never would've agreed to marry you!"
Her words cut straight through every last bit of hope I'd held onto.
They landed right where it hurt the most.
She agreed to marry me not out of love.
It was only because Andrew got sick, and she wanted to run away, so she made me her shield.
From beginning to end, I was nothing but a stand-in.
I just stood there, not saying a word for a long time.
When Anna saw the look on my face, she realized what she'd just said and started to panic.
"That's not what I meant. Ethan, I mean..." she stammered.