Chapter 2
After I parted ways with Jenny, I headed home.
The house was huge, but it was piled high with random junk.
Over the past three years of marriage, I'd bought all this little by little, trying to fill the emptiness inside me.
Cheap stuff from BargainMart, ranging from a couple of bucks to ten, covered every square foot of the house.
The whole house looked like a dump.
Honestly, Xavier pretty much acted like I didn't exist, but at least he still covered the bills and gave me money for living expenses.
He made 4,000 dollars a month, and he'd hand me 1,000 dollars as an allowance.
Every now and then, his mom would give me some cash for the holidays, so I could go shopping with my friends.
That was pretty much why I kept sticking it out, even though I felt awful about it.
But after talking to Jenny, I couldn't shake the feeling that this wasn't right.
I was still young. My best years shouldn't be wasted in this toxic haze.
Staring at the mirror, I saw myself: rounder, wearing a T-shirt, hair greasy as ever. I let out a long breath.
I threw my hair up, grabbed a giant trash bag, and started chucking stuff.
I kept at it from noon till night, filled up eight whole bags, and half the house was cleared out.
Every last bit of junk food in the cabinets got tossed.
All the cheap clothes from the closet, the drugstore makeup from the dresser, and even our wedding photo went straight into the trash.
Once I was done, I boiled myself a couple of sweet potatoes.
I'd barely taken a few bites when the door opened.
Xavier walked in, and right behind him was Susan, looking all polished and gorgeous.
When she saw me, her expression didn't change at all. She smiled and said, "Hey, Stella, you're home."
I grunted. "Yeah, what are you doing here?"
"Xavier said that new fishing rod he bought is awesome, so I came over to borrow it and see for myself," she said, sounding all casual.
Xavier didn't even look at me. He headed straight into the house.
Susan plopped down next to me, her eyes glued to the sweet potatoes in front of me.
"What's with the bargain food, Stella? Trying to lose weight or something?" she sneered.
"Yeah, I'm on a diet," I replied.
She giggled. "No offense, but body shape is all about genetics, you know.
"Some people are born big. Starving yourself won't help; you'll never get skinny.
"Stella, forget about dieting. Got any pasta at home? I'll cook you some."
She started to head for the kitchen, but I stopped her.
"Don't bother. I tossed everything out," I said.
"Why?" Susan asked.
"I'm not eating it anymore. Otherwise, it'd sit there and go to waste," I replied.
Her gaze wavered for a moment, but Susan ended up smiling.
"Alright then, since you're really determined to lose weight, let's see how it goes," she said.
She glanced up, saw Xavier coming out, and walked right over to grab the fishing rod from his hand.
"Whoa, this rod is pretty good, so slim and light," Susan chirped.
"I got us a private pond in Sunnyvale tonight. Let's go try it out and see how many fish we can catch."
Then, halfway through, she suddenly turned back, pretending to feel bad. "Oops, Stella, I almost forgot you were here. Is it okay if I go with Xavier tonight?"
Xavier smirked, not even bothering to hide how little he cared. "Why ask her? She never has a say anyway."
Three years went by, and Xavier hadn't changed at all. If anything, he'd grown into even more of that confident, older-guy charm.
With him staying in shape and holding down a respectable job, it wasn't Susan, but plenty of other women lining up for a shot at him.
He was nothing like the innocent guy I'd married. Now, there was a sharp, almost possessive edge in his eyes whenever he looked at Susan.
I stared at him, hating myself even more for letting someone like him turn me into a total wreck.
Xavier glanced up at me with that same half-assed, couldn't-care-less look on his face.
"I'm heading out. I won't be back for dinner, so you're on your own," he said.
"Okay," I replied, my voice flat.
He was about to leave, but then turned back.
"Oh, by the way, I'll give you 1,500 this month. The company gave out a quarterly bonus," he added.
"Alright," I said.