Chapter 4
I picked up the glass of water and walked back into the conference room.
Cecilia took the glass and smiled. "Thank you, Brianna."
"You're welcome," I said.
Then I turned and walked back to my corner.
The folding stool was so hard that my butt was sore.
But I sat up straight.
Carlos continued with the meeting.
The sunlight made the side of his face stand out so clearly.
That used to be my favorite angle of him.
Now, it just felt unfamiliar, like I was looking at someone I barely knew.
So this was what it felt like when someone turned into a stranger.
It wasn't hate, and it wasn't bitterness.
It was finally seeing everything clearly, and not wanting to say a single word anymore.
By the time I got off work, it was already dark outside.
I stepped out of the office building, and the cold wind crept into my collar.
My phone buzzed in my pocket.
I took it out, it was a message from Carlos.
[Working late tonight. Go to bed yourself.]
Just some words.
No greeting, no explanation.
I stared at the screen for so long, my eyes started to sting.
Then I slowly typed back: [Okay.]
That single word went out, like a stone dropped into a deep well, no echo, no reply.
I hailed a cab and gave the driver my home address.
The neon lights outside turned into blurry streaks. I watched my reflection in the window, overlapping with the city lights.
It was so invisible that it felt like I could disappear any second.
When I got home, the place was empty.
I turned on the lights, dropped my bag on the couch, and just sat there, feeling the darkness inside me.
My phone screen lit up.
I thought it was Carlos, so I grabbed it right away.
It was just a notification from my social feed.
I tapped it open, and it was Cecilia's avatar.
She'd posted a photo.
In the photo, Cecilia and Carlos were standing together, with an upscale restaurant's crystal chandelier in the background. Carlos had his hand resting on her shoulder, and the two of them were grinning like they didn't have a care in the world.
The caption read: [Working overtime with someone important, no matter how hard the grind, it's still sweet.]
My chest tightened, like someone was squeezing the life out of my heart.
That wasn't overtime.
That was the place I wanted to try yesterday, the one he said no to.
He said he had work to do, that there was a problem with the project, that he didn't have time.
And now, he was there with Cecilia, smiling so happily.
I stared at that photo, my finger hovering over the screen for a long time.
Then I opened up Carlos's chat window. [Where are you?]
The message was sent. Read.
No reply.
Ten minutes.
Twenty minutes.
An hour.
The screen kept lighting up and going dark, again and again.
Still, no new messages.
I stood up and stepped out onto the balcony.
The night wind brushed against my face. It was cold.
Down on the street, cars streamed by, their headlights shining like a moving galaxy.
And I stood there, feeling like a forgotten shadow.
My phone buzzed again.
I practically lunged for it.
It was Carlos.
[Busy. Talk later.]
Just three words.
A brush-off so final, I knew nothing would ever go back to how it was.
I sat on the couch, hugging my knees, staring at that photo on my phone screen.
Carlos's smile was so familiar, yet so distant.
It was the same smile he used to give me.
Now, he was smiling at someone else that way.
And me? I didn't even have the right to ask.
Because in his eyes, I was just a 'friend,' just that 'capable assistant' he always mentioned.
No title, no place, no say.
I was left with nothing.
I opened my photo album and flipped all the way back to five years ago.
That was when we'd just gotten together.
In the picture, Carlos had his arm wrapped around me, the university library behind us.
He told me, "Don't post this. If anyone at work saw it, it wouldn't look good."
I did as he said. I never posted it.
That photo stayed in my album, the only evidence that ever existed.
It was all I had to show that, once upon a time, there was something real between us.
I turned off my phone and lay down on the couch.
The incandescent ceiling light was so bright that it made my eyes ache.
But I kept my eyes open.
I lay there motionless, staring up at the light until it melted into a blurry halo.
At two in the morning, the lock clicked.
I sat up.
Carlos walked in, reeking of alcohol.
"Still awake?" he asked.
He glanced at me, his tone flat.
"I was waiting for you," I said.
"Why wait? I told you I'd be working late," he replied.
He took off his coat and hung it on the rack.
"Cecilia posted on her feed," I said. "You two went out for dinner."
Carlos paused.
"It was a business dinner. Don't overthink it," he said.
"You said you had company business yesterday," I said.
"This is company business," he replied.
He turned to face me with a frown.