Chapter 1

On Thanksgiving Day, because I refused to pay for a postpartum doula, my daughter-in-law, who was due in three months, went to the hospital and had the pregnancy terminated.

My son was furious. "Are you happy now? I asked you to pay for a postpartum doula, but you kept dodging it. Now the baby's gone. Keep your money and buy yourself some medicine."

My husband also blamed me. "Your stinginess killed my grandson."

I broke down in tears. "What do you want from me? What else can I do?

"You're such a bastard, Frank. You handed my pension over to Rachel. How am I supposed to pay for a postpartum doula now?"

My daughter-in-law was stunned.

She looked at me in disbelief. "What did you say? Frank told you he gave your pension to me?"

*****

Maybe my daughter-in-law, Rachel, and I weren't meant to be family.

On her wedding day, my husband, Frank Johnson, gave her the card my pension went to, but she never stopped making snide remarks to me.

"You don't pay a cent or lift a finger. You're living the good life as a mother-in-law, huh?" she'd say.

I thought she was upset that I wasn't living with her and my son, Charles, so after she got pregnant, I moved in and handled all the chores without a single complaint.

But she still wasn't satisfied.

One day, she wanted to go on a trip and asked me to help pay for it.

The next, she was craving a seafood feast and told me to get a group-buy deal online for her.

But I'd already handed over all my pension to her. Now I was picking up side gigs to barely cover groceries, so how was I supposed to have any money left?

I discussed with Charles about taking my card back. That way, I'd have the money myself, and life would be a lot more convenient.

But he said Rachel was touchy about this stuff. If I asked for the card, she'd blow up and threaten to divorce him. He told me to put up with it for the sake of keeping the family together.

He even warned me not to bring up the pension in front of her, or she'd think I was throwing my weight around because I was older.

When I went to Frank for money, he told me he needed it all for his eighty-year-old mother, Julia, for her doctor visits, medicine, and hiring a caregiver.

Every day, I had to swallow my grievances, but the only thing keeping me going was knowing Rachel would have the baby in three months.

Watching her waddle around with that huge belly, I kept telling myself that handing my pension to her was basically handing it to my future grandchild.

But because I refused to pay for a postpartum doula on Thanksgiving Day, she got so mad that she ended up having the pregnancy terminated.

Frank and Charles kept blaming me for everything.

My heart felt like it was being torn apart.

People couldn't squeeze blood from a turnip. I'd been strong all my life, but if I'd had the money, paying for a postpartum doula would've been nothing.

On Thanksgiving Day, while everyone else was celebrating, my grandbaby died before he even had a chance.

I couldn't hold it in anymore and broke down, sobbing my heart out.

But even so, when I saw Rachel lying there on the hospital bed, her face so pale, my heart twisted with sorrow.

I said softly, "Rachel, why are you so hot-tempered? Is there anything I wouldn't give up for you and the baby? If I had the money, do you think I'd hesitate to pay for a postpartum doula?"

Rachel suddenly sat up. "If you really were broke, fine! But everyone knows your pension is higher than what some young people make.

"You're always penny-pinching when it comes to buying groceries, but when the baby was here soon, you couldn't bring yourself to pay for a postpartum doula.

"You're so stingy. You don't deserve to be a grandma."

I was mad. "The day you married Charles, Frank handed my pension right over to you. My pension's high, but I haven't seen a single dollar of it all these years.

"I'm stuck mopping floors, cooking, and cleaning every day, and I still have to take odd jobs to buy groceries. You've got my money. If you can't afford a postpartum doula, why are you still blaming me?"

Rachel was stunned.

She looked at me in disbelief. "What did you say? Frank told you he gave your pension to me?"

I was stunned, too.

I shot back, "On your wedding night, Frank said you young people had it tough, and without asking me, he handed you the card my pension goes to. Didn't you get it?"

Rachel's face went ghostly pale. "So, it wasn't that you didn't want to spend money on me and the baby. It's that you never had the pension in your hands?"

"What do you mean? You don't have the pension, either?"

Rachel clutched her belly and lay back down on the bed. "Since I married Charles, other than the grocery money you spent, I haven't taken a single dollar from your family."

As I watched the defeated look on her face, it felt like someone had grabbed my heart and twisted it hard, causing sharp pain.

Turned out that all these years, I never got to use a single dollar from my pension, and neither did Rachel.

But Frank and Charles were always barely getting by. It never seemed like they spent a dime from my pension, either.