Chapter 2
By six-thirty Friday night, the temperature had dropped low enough for everyone's breath to show under the stadium lights.
I carried my camera bag across the parking lot with Emma's banner tucked beneath one arm.
From behind the concession stand came the smell of popcorn, hot chocolate, and the onions someone was frying for burgers.
Senior Night had always looked warmer in the photographs.
Luke was waiting near the gate with Emma and Vanessa.
Emma wore her blue-and-gold jersey over a long-sleeved shirt.
Her ponytail was tied with the ribbon I'd left on her bathroom counter that morning.
Vanessa stood beside her in a cream sweater and dark jeans.
A blue laminated pass hung from Vanessa's neck.
EMMA MORRIS — FIELD ESCORT
There were two of those passes for every senior.
Luke was wearing the other one.
I stopped in front of them.
Vanessa touched the plastic card. "Luke said you offered me your pass."
I looked at my husband.
"He was mistaken."
Vanessa's fingers closed around the bottom of the pass. "I didn't realize."
Luke checked the time on his phone. "They're lining everyone up in ten minutes."
"That doesn't answer me," I said.
Emma looked from Luke to me. "What's going on?"
"Nothing," Luke said.
"My field pass is around Vanessa's neck."
Emma's face changed. "Dad."
"It's one night," Luke said. "We already talked about this."
"You talked. I was informed."
Vanessa began lifting the lanyard over her head. "If this wasn't agreed on, I can watch from the stands."
But she moved slowly.
Her eyes went to Emma before the pass cleared her hair.
Emma saw it too.
"It's okay," Emma said quickly. "Nobody has to leave."
"There are only two field passes," I told her.
"Can they give us another one?"
I pressed my lips together and listened.
"The athletic office is closed," Luke said. "The names are already on the program."
Emma pressed her lips together. "Then I don't have to do the walk."
Vanessa lowered the pass back against her sweater.
"No," she said. "This is your night. I don't want you giving anything up because of me."
"I don't want anybody fighting either."
"We're not fighting," Luke said.
My next breath came in shallow.
Emma gave him a look that said she was seventeen, not five.
A whistle sounded near the track.
Seniors and their families had begun moving toward the gate.
Vanessa touched Emma's arm. "I'm happy just being here. Whatever you decide."
The words were fair.
The pass stayed around her neck.
Luke drew me a few steps away, stopping beside the banner I had spent three evenings making.
"You're putting Emma in the middle," he said.
"I didn't give away my pass."
"You've had every first day, every birthday, every game. Vanessa has never had one. Can't you let her have this?"
I gave myself time to hear what had actually been said.
"I didn't take those years from her, Luke. I was the one who showed up for them."
"And nobody is denying that."
"You gave her my place without asking me."
The pause lasted longer than the sentence.
"I knew what you'd say."
"That isn't the same as asking."
He glanced toward Emma.
She stood between Vanessa and the gate, twisting the end of her ponytail around one finger.
Luke lowered his voice.
"Tonight isn't about rewarding you."
For a second, I couldn't think of anything to say.
He hadn't raised his voice.
He hadn't called me selfish.
He had simply turned twelve years of lunches, fevers, practices, permission slips, and late-night talks into something I expected to be rewarded for.
"I thought it was about supporting Emma."
"It is."
"Then why am I the only one being asked to do it from outside the fence?"
I waited before trusting my first response.
Luke rubbed a hand across his jaw. "Please don't make a scene."
There were parents all around us, carrying flowers and balloons.
A few had already noticed the four adults standing beside two passes.
I picked up my camera bag.
"You don't have to worry," I said. "I know how to stay out of the picture."
When we returned to Emma, a volunteer was handing out small white corsages in clear plastic boxes.
Emma opened hers.
Her fingers shook as she tried to push the pin through the thick fabric of her jersey.
"Here." Vanessa stepped closer. "Let me help."
Emma held still.
Vanessa turned the corsage sideways, then upside down.
The pin caught in the fabric and pulled the collar toward Emma's shoulder.
"Ow."
"Sorry." Vanessa released it at once. "I'm sorry."
Emma looked down at the bent flower.
Then she looked past Vanessa at me.
"Mom, can you fix it?"
The word came out before she could stop it.
Vanessa's hands dropped.
I set down my camera bag and walked over.
I removed the pin, straightened the jersey, and pushed the needle through the fabric beneath the seam so it wouldn't scratch Emma's skin.
"There."
I turned the flower slightly and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
Emma kept her voice low. "I'm sorry."
"Not here," I said. "This is your night."
Her eyes filled, but she blinked before the tears could fall.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
The field coordinator called Emma's name.
I reached into my camera bag and lifted out my DSLR.
Emma put her hand over mine before I could step away.
"Will you take pictures?"
"Of course."
"You always know when I'm about to blink."
I felt an answer gather behind my teeth.
"I've had practice."
She gave me a small smile.
Luke held the gate open.
Vanessa moved to Emma's left, Luke to her right.
Before walking through, Emma looked back at me.
"We can still do a picture together after, right?"
"Whenever you're ready."
Vanessa nodded. "We'll get one with all four of us."
The three of them joined the line along the track.
I walked to the chain-link fence and raised my camera.
The stadium announcer worked through the names one at a time.
Each senior stepped forward between parents, grandparents, siblings, or whoever had received the two blue passes.
Then Emma reached the front.
"Number eight, Emma Morris, escorted by her father, Luke Morris, and her mother, Vanessa Cole."
The crowd applauded.
Luke smiled toward the stands.
Vanessa held Emma's left arm with both hands.
Emma looked straight at my lens.
Through the viewfinder, I saw the ribbon I had left on her counter.
The flower I had pinned to her jersey.
The banner I had painted hanging behind them.
I pressed the shutter.
Emma's smile appeared on the small screen.
It was the smile she used when adults needed her to be okay.
After the ceremony, they came back through the gate.
Vanessa's cheeks were pink from the cold, and her eyes were wet.
"Joy, could you take one of the three of us?" she asked. "Then you can give the camera to me and get in."
"Sure."
Emma stood between Luke and Vanessa.
Luke placed one hand on Emma's shoulder.
Vanessa slipped her arm through Emma's.
There was no contact between Luke and Vanessa.
They didn't need it.
From where I stood, they still fit inside the frame.
Emma looked at me, but she wasn't smiling.
"Em," I said.
Her eyes settled on the lens.
I waited.
She gave me the smile everyone expected.
The shutter clicked.
"Let me see," Vanessa said.
I showed her the screen.
For a moment, she didn't speak.
"You made us look like we've done this before," she said.
"Morris!" Emma's coach shouted from the track. "Team picture. Let's go."
Emma took a step toward me. "Wait, we still need—"
"Go," Luke said. "We'll get the other picture after the game."
Emma hesitated, then ran toward her teammates.
Vanessa handed me her phone. "Would you send that one to me too?"
I sent the photograph to both of them.
Luke opened it immediately.
He cropped the picture until the three of them filled his screen, then selected it as his new lock screen.
"Looks good," he said.
His phone went dark in his hand.
Mine lit up a second later with a message from Emma's coach about the team photograph.
My lock screen was still the diner selfie from last summer.
Emma sat between Luke and me in a red vinyl booth, her arms around both our shoulders.
On Luke's phone, I was already gone.
On mine, I was still smiling beside him.