Chapter 1
I had just pushed my passport into my bag when a hand came from behind me and took it.
"What are you hiding?"
James Carter had come in from outside with his nose red from the cold. He flipped through the passport, and the smile went off his face.
"What are you doing with a passport? Planning to run?"
He held it up over my head, where I couldn't reach it.
"Didn't I explain this? Marrying Vanessa was to get her mother off her back. In a couple of months we quietly divorce, and it's done."
I didn't answer him. I went up on my toes and pulled the passport back.
He stopped short.
The old me would have met him at the door with hot water and slippers.
That day he got nothing.
He took hold of my chin and forced my head up to look at him.
"Charlotte, is the jealousy really this bad? You made a scene in front of that many people. If it reaches my father, what am I supposed to tell him?"
I pulled his hand off me.
He leaned in again and frowned at the scrape on my cheek that still hadn't healed.
"Where did that come from? Did security go that hard on you? I'll take a month of their pay."
The same routine again.
Seven days earlier, at the engagement party, James had his security drag me out of the ballroom and put me down on the concrete in the parking lot.
"Another one looking for a payout? Mr. Carter and Ms. Brooks belong together. Who do you think you are?"
People pointed and laughed at me, saying I was down on the pavement in the freezing cold with my hand out, worse off than somebody begging.
Whatever face I had left broke apart that night.
Seeing that I still wouldn't speak, James picked up a paper bag by the door and set it in front of me.
"Fruit for your grandmother. Take it when you visit her. And stop throwing the hospital at me. Her health has always been like that, and you're making it bigger than it is."
My grandmother, the only person I had for thirty years, always said she wanted to see me in a wedding dress and stand up as my witness.
What she got instead was a photo of James and Vanessa's marriage license.
She looked at that photo, and her breath caught, and she went down right there.
The doctor said twenty-seven thousand dollars for the surgery would bring her back.
Twenty-seven thousand dollars.
On New Year's Eve, I called every number in my contacts. Some hung up on me, and some cursed me for bringing bad luck to the holiday.
With fireworks going off outside, my grandmother's hand let go of mine.
Thinking about the way she looked at me at the end made my eyes burn, and I didn't let the tears come.
I didn't take the bag of fruit.
I said, "There's no need."
James finally caught on that something was off, and his voice went soft.
He said, "Fine. If you feel that hard done by, I'll give you a wedding. Your grandma gets her big day out of it. Your family cares about appearances more than anything."
It always came back to appearances.
I had been hearing that word for six years.
When I wanted dinner out with friends, he called it throwing money around to look good. When I bought my grandma a winter coat, he said my whole family cared too much about how things looked.
"We don't need a wedding." I looked him straight in the eye. "You and I were never married."
His face dropped.
He was about to go off when the doorbell rang.
He shot me a glare and went to answer it.
A second later, his voice climbed half an octave.
He asked, "What are you doing here?"
Vanessa Brooks stood in the doorway in the same gray cashmere coat as James, and she gave his chest a playful pat.
She said, "Mr. Carter, a few of my girlfriends want to meet you tonight. Come out with me one more time."
She looked past him at me and winked.
"Charlotte, you don't mind, do you? You didn't mind the other day. James and I grew up together. We're practically family. You know how that is."
She slid her hand into his coat pocket like it was nothing, and both of them had matching wedding bands on.
James glanced down at her and pulled her scarf tighter without even thinking about it.
He said, "Why would she mind? Relax. I'm yours all night."
He picked up his car keys and headed out.
Two steps on, something occurred to him, and he came back and brushed his lips across my forehead for half a second.
"Wait for me at home. This is the last time. After this I'm with you every day."
There was never going to be an after.
I watched the two of them walk off, Vanessa leaning into his shoulder, beaming.
Then I turned around and picked up the resignation letter I had already written.