Chapter 2
The host finished this page.
The comments slowed down.
No one ever thought I would have memories like this with Caspar.
To everyone else, it always looked like I was the one hopelessly clinging to Caspar, never letting go.
But no one would have thought that we really did love each other.
The host turned to Caspar. "Caspar, the diary shows that you two were truly in love back then."
Caspar stared at the diary, not blinking once.
A storm of emotions flickered in his eyes.
After a long pause, he finally said, "That was years ago. What's there to talk about?"
Yeah, it'd been years.
Back then, our love burned hotter than fire.
The diary read: [June 17, 2019
Dear Diary, it's been a while.
I've been super busy lately.
I'm doing better now, too.
I've been picking up bit parts one after another.
And of course, Caspar is way more impressive than me. He's starring as the male lead in a new web series.
Our agency won't let us go public about our relationship.
But I still managed to sneak over to his set just to see him.
I put on my sunglasses and pretended to be one of his fans.
But then, one of the crew members scoffed, "Even a nobody like him has fans?"
I was so pissed that I made sure to remember his face.
Just wait until Caspar blows up.
He'll regret it.
Caspar saw me there.
As soon as the director yelled "Cut", he threw me a cheeky wink.
How childish.
Here's a pic I snapped of Caspar on set today.
He was standing in the snow, rocking a blue-and-white robe with a black sash tied around his waist.
I just couldn't take my eyes off him.
But Caspar's been busting his chops on this set.
The crew's running on a shoestring budget, so they can't even hire stunt doubles.
He's gotta throw himself into every fight scene.
He's always sporting fresh bruises all over.
He doesn't even have time to rub on any ointment before shooting a scene in the rain.
It breaks my heart to see him like this.
I need to make sure he gets plenty of good food these days.
Caspar is really working his ass off for our future.
I can't be the one holding him back.
I'm auditioning for the third female lead in Dreamscape tomorrow.
Feels like there's finally something to look forward to.]
As soon as the host finished reading this page, the comments flooded in.
They read: [Wow, Caspar's road to fame was seriously tough.]
[Poor Caspar. My heart hurts for him.]
[Wait, Claire auditioned for Dreamscape, too? Thank god she didn't get it, or she would've ruined my favorite third female lead.]
The host caught the puzzled comments scrolling by.
She turned to Caspar. "Caspar, did you know Claire went for the audition back then?"
Caspar squinted, lost in thought.
After a beat, he nodded.
He said, "I remember she didn't just audition. She actually got the part."
That left everyone stunned.
Everyone knew that even though Dreamscape was just a low-budget web series, it ended up being a sleeper hit.
Pretty much everyone in the cast saw their careers take off because of it.
But I wasn't one of them.
The host pressed, "If Claire got the part, why didn't she go for it?
"That was the kind of golden opportunity one only gets once in a lifetime.
"Seriously, what could be worth throwing away her future like that?"
Caspar knitted his brows.
After a moment, he shook his head.
He genuinely couldn't remember.
Of course he didn't remember.
He was the one who took advantage of it.
The dairy read: [June 18, 2019
Dear Diary, it's such a small world.
I went to an audition today.
The director had us do the scene in pairs.
Of all people, I got paired up with the very girl who used to make my life hell in high school.
The moment I saw her, I felt all my energy just vanish.
My legs started shaking uncontrollably.
For years, I'd pictured every way she could end up miserable.
Maybe she'd be flat broke, barely scraping by.
Maybe her career would totally tank.
Maybe she'd finally get a taste of her own medicine.
I told myself people like her would get what was coming to them.
But it never happened.
She was still as gorgeous as ever.
She was rocking a pricey Chanel suit.
The arrogance in her eyes was even more intense than it used to be.
I bolted to the restroom like I was running for my life.
I let the icy water hit my face.
I tried to force myself to calm down.
But I couldn't stop picturing that vicious grin of hers in my head.
My scalp prickled with numbness.
Just like when she used to yank my hair back in high school.
She said back then, "Hey, Claire, your grandma still scavenging for bottles at that stadium on the south side?
"Think if we stole her bag, she'd get so pissed that she'd just pass away?
"Ew, your bra looks all wrong. Want me to rip it off for you?"
She had been my nightmare for a long time.
And why did she make my life hell?
Just because I wouldn't help her cheat during exams.
Seeing that face again, instinctively, I just wanted to run away.
I even thought about quitting the audition right then and there.
I hid in a stall, hands shaking as I called Caspar on video.
I was desperate for a little comfort.
The call connected almost instantly.
Caspar's face filled the screen, swollen and bruised.
It looked like it hurt like hell.
But he still managed a smile. "Claire, what's wrong?"
My throat tightened.
Suddenly, I was at a loss for words.
He noticed me watching him.
Then he covered his right cheek.
He put on a relaxed front.
He said, "Don't worry about it. I just got slapped a few extra times for that scene. It doesn't even hurt."
The actor next to him couldn't help but grumble, "Seriously, these nepotism hires are the worst. She can't act, and now you're the one taking all the hits because of her.
"She even said she'd never slapped anyone before, so she couldn't get the hang of it.
"Come on, what was she acting all innocent for? I see her hitting her assistant all the time..."
Caspar just stared at me, his eyes bright and full of warmth.
"Don't listen to him," he said.
He's always been like that.
He'd only ever share the good stuff, never the bad.
Even when the wires cut into his skin and left him bleeding, he'd just grit his teeth and power through.
If I hadn't I never would've known he was going all out in those fight scenes.
Feeling my eyes start to sting with tears, I quickly hung up the call.
In that moment, it hit me.
No matter how hard things got for Caspar, he never gave up on acting.
How could I let fear make me give up on my own chance?
Don't you think so, Dear Diary?
I can deal with losing, but I can't keep running away.
When we did the scene together, she instantly knew who I was.
I fought every instinct to just run away.
Then I ended up scoring the third female lead in Dreamscape.
When the results were announced, she slammed her arm into mine. "Well, Claire, looks like you're doing better these days."
I locked eyes with those pupils that once terrified me.
I shoved her arm right back.
Humph.
Dear Diary, I'm not afraid of her anymore.
She even told me to just wait and see.
As if I'd ever be scared of her.]