Chapter 1

The night I lost my baby, my boyfriend was out at a bar, fooling around with his childhood sweetheart, Claire Evans, and a whole group of friends.

Claire sent me a message: [Lana, it's a shame you missed the party tonight. But don't worry, I'll take good care of Alex.]

She even sent me a video.

The Alex she was talking about was my boyfriend, Alex Walker. In the video, he was drunk out of his mind, lying with his head in Claire's lap.

His buddies were egging them on, shouting, "Kiss her! Kiss her!"

Alex looked up at Claire, and suddenly pulled her down by the back of her neck and kissed her.

The crowd went wild again. Someone shouted, "Alex and Claire look perfect together. Way better than the other one. That ring should've been on Claire's finger."

The video cut off right there.

Seeing Claire's "typing..." pop up, I quickly replied: [I get it. I wish you two all the happiness. Oh, and about the ring — Alex should buy you a new one. Mine probably won't fit you anyway.]

Right after that, I blocked her, packed up my things the moment I was discharged, and left.

Later, Alex totally lost it. He threw Claire and all his buddies out, just to beg me to take him back.

*****

I had always thought getting a pregnancy termination would take a lot of courage, but from the moment I made up my mind to the moment I signed the papers and lay down on the hospital bed, everything went surprisingly smoothly.

The doctor asked if the baby's father knew and even tried, very gently, to talk me out of acting on impulse.

I appreciated the kindness and said with a small smile, "He's busy. I can make this call on my own."

Meanwhile, the baby's father was at a bar, having fun with his childhood sweetheart and a bunch of friends.

We had been together for a year. He kept saying he was fine without kids, but the envy and longing in his eyes were hard to miss.

For Alex to have a child, I had taken countless injections and suffered through so much—only for it all to become a joke.

Honestly, the fact that I got pregnant and he still hadn't even thought about proposing said everything.

People liked to say kids were the "product of love." But without love, what was the point?

The truth was, I didn't find out he didn't want to be with me until a few days ago, when he forgot to log out of his WhatsApp Web and I saw his chats. He'd only settled for me because he thought he'd never have a chance with Claire again.

The group chat belonged to Alex and his buddies. I knew about it. I had even asked once if I could join.

But Alex brushed me off, saying it was all guys and they'd feel awkward with a woman in there.

So I never brought it up again.

But I spotted Claire in the group chat. They were talking about her coming home.

[Big welcome to Dr. Evans for coming back home.]

[Alex finally made it. After all these years of waiting, Claire's back.]

Claire replied almost right away: [Don't say that. Alex is with Lana now. It's not fair to her.]

But the guy didn't care at all and kept running his mouth: [Honestly, I always thought the two of them together made zero sense. Just like beauty and the beast. Oh, Alex is the beauty, by the way.]

[Exactly. And Lana is so clingy. She came to a few gatherings and kept trying to cozy up to us. Of course, none of us bothered with her.]

[Alex, I'm telling you, stop bringing her next time. The thought of talking to her makes me want to gag.]

They never imagined I'd be sitting in front of the computer watching them chat. In person, they always managed to keep up some polite façade, but online, they dropped it in a heartbeat.

I still clung to a tiny bit of hope, telling myself maybe Alex just hadn't seen what they said. If he had, he would've stepped in.

But life clearly wasn't planning to cut me any slack. The next second, Alex popped up and replied to that guy: [Yeah, I don't want to bring her either. She's such a pain.]

I froze. My mind went completely blank.

Was that really Alex? Or had someone hacked his account? How could he talk about me like that? How could he...

By the time I snapped out of it, they had already moved on to a few more messages.

Someone suggested they should get together to celebrate Claire's return, and that Alex should host.

Alex didn't object. He just dropped an "OK" sticker and said: [Leave it to me.]

My head was spinning, hands trembling as I shot back a reply: [Sorry, I only ever learned how to get along with people, so I never quite knew how to fit in with you all. But you won't have to worry anymore. I'll break up with Alex.]

The group went dead silent. Then they all sent ellipses one after another.

Right then, WhatsApp Web suddenly logged out. It seemed like Alex had noticed.

My phone started ringing—it was him. Normally, I would've picked up before the first ring even finished.

But now I just stared at the screen, numb, with no intention of answering.

The ringtone went on for ten seconds, maybe more, before it finally stopped.

That was when my tears came uncontrollably. I might've sounded calm and cutting in the group, but inside, I was drowning in humiliation.

I couldn't hold it in anymore. I broke down and cried my heart out.