Chapter 4

I crawled out of the trunk, stood there lost, just staring as they walked away.

The wind picked up in the late autumn night.

Ryan draped a black coat over Mom's shoulders.

I'd never seen a coat that beautiful in my life.

Back then, Mom and I only ever wore old, patched-up clothes.

I'd used my coat to wipe down the car, so all I had left was a thin long-sleeved shirt.

I shivered, keeping my gaze lowered, not daring to meet anyone's eyes.

Ethan was done puking.

When he looked at me, all hunched over and filthy, it was like I was some disgusting, terrifying creature.

He practically bolted inside, desperate to get away from me.

I kept scrubbing the trunk with my jacket for what felt like forever, but it just wouldn't get clean no matter what I did.

I wanted to go inside and ask for a towel.

But as soon as Ryan went in, he locked the door behind him.

I watched them through the big glass windows, all sitting by the window and having dinner.

The table was piled high with all sorts of dishes.

I swear I could smell the food right through the glass.

My stomach rumbled again, aching with hunger.

I swallowed hard, just to keep myself from drooling.

Ryan kept piling food onto Mom's plate, and Ethan poured her a glass of water.

I had no idea what they were talking about.

Suddenly, Ryan reached out and rolled up Mom's sleeve, his eyes going wide as he stared at her arm.

His hand was shaking as he wiped his eyes.

Ethan covered his face, and it looked like he was sobbing.

Mom and I had arms covered in scars.

Some were from Dad beating us when he was drunk, using whatever was at hand.

Some were burns where he pressed his cigarettes against us.

Others came from working the fields and climbing the mountains together.

Ethan wiped his tears, then moved closer to Mom and gently blew on her arm.

Sophie came over and joined them.

Mom's hands trembled as she wrapped them both in a tight embrace.

Just like before I turned three, she used to hold me close like that, too.

After I turned three, she never hugged me again.

I was so lost in thought that I barely noticed anything else.

By the time I snapped back to reality, they'd already left the table and headed upstairs.

The maid dumped most of the food from the table, still more than half of it, straight into the trash.

My heart ached as I watched, and my stomach growled even louder.

Once she was done, she carried the trash bag out and tossed it into the big dumpster outside the yard.

Once she went back inside, I quietly hurried over.

I tiptoed over, trying not to make a sound.

I strained to reach up, stretching my arm into the tall dumpster.

I tried again and again, almost falling in headfirst.

Finally, I managed to pull the trash bag out.

I pulled the bag open.

The delicious aroma of food washed over me, making my stomach rumble even louder.