Chapter 5
The next morning, I'd barely settled into my chair when the door slammed open.
Ryan stood in the doorway, his face grim and stormy, eyes bloodshot, as if he hadn't slept all night. He was gripping a stack of documents so hard that his knuckles were turning white from the force.
"Mom, are you out of your mind?" Ryan said, his voice low and icy. I'd never heard him sound like that before. "You froze my credit cards? Fired me? Took back the house and the car?"
He slammed the stack of documents down on my desk, staring at me in disbelief. "I'm your son."
I leaned back in my chair, looking up at him. I'd spent over twenty years looking at this face. His eyes and brows were like mine, but his nose was like his father's.
When he was a kid, his eyes would crinkle into little crescent moons whenever he smiled. Now, that face was filled only with anger and rage.
"I told you yesterday," I said, keeping my voice steady. "If you go after her, we're done as mother and son."
His eyes went red, as if I'd shattered the bond we'd built over twenty years. "Mom, is your heart made of stone?
"For twenty years, it was only us against the world, and now you want to cut me off to control who I care about. Was your love for me ever real?"
Tears rolled down his cheeks, but he didn't try to wipe them away. "Mom, you're my mom! You're the closest person I have in this world. How could you do this to me? How could you?"
As I listened to his questions, a wave of bitterness and hurt washed over me. "You want to know how I could do this to you?" I stood up, my voice icy. "Then let me ask you how they treated me?
"When you were five, Olivia stood arrogantly at our doorstep, jabbed a finger at my face, and said, 'Your husband doesn't love you anymore. Why are you still here? If you have any self-respect, you should get out.'
"Your father stood right next to her, not saying a word. He looked at me like I was nothing but garbage, something in his way.
"When I walked out of that house with you in my arms, I only had one hundred dollars with me. You were crying, and so was I. But no one helped us. No one.
"Olivia destroyed my family, and your father forced me to leave with nothing. For twenty years, it was only the two of us, mother and son. I always thought you were my rock, my support, and the one I could count on.
"But now? You want to marry Olivia's daughter. You want to accept the woman who threw us out of our home as your mother-in-law, and call the man who never gave you a second glance dad.
"Ryan, have you ever thought about how I feel? Every time you accept her as your mother-in-law, it's like a knife to my heart. Every time you call him dad, it's like telling me everything I went through these twenty years meant nothing.
"You say I don't love you? I busted my ass to give you the best life I could. What else do you want from me?"
His lips moved, and finally, he managed to speak, "Mom, it's been twenty years. You need to let it go.
"Dad and Olivia... They had their own reasons. When it comes to relationships, nobody's to blame. You've been holding onto this grudge for twenty years, haven't you had enough?"
He looked at me, his eyes full of hurt. "Even if I'm with Emily, you're still the one I love most, Mom. You'll always be my mom. Nothing will ever change that. But all that drama from the last generation shouldn't be our problem.
"Emily and I didn't do anything wrong. We love each other, that's all. Why can't you let it go? Why do you have to make me choose between you and her? Why can't you be happy for us?
"You're using our family ties to keep me away from Emily. Do you realize how much pain that would cause me for the rest of my life? Mom, I'm begging you. Don't make me choose between you and Emily."
Every plea he made stabbed right into my heart. It was like I was the one at fault.
Like all my resentment over the past twenty years was me being small-minded.
Like all the tears I shed and all the pain I went through were supposed to vanish with time.
Like I was supposed to smile and accept him calling that man dad and that woman mother-in-law.
Suddenly, I felt a chill that started deep inside and spread through every part of me.
I was actually foolish enough to hope that if I bared all my wounds to him, he'd remember the pain we once shared. And I was still clinging to the hope that he'd finally regret it.
"Ryan, don't make me regret ever raising you. Get out!" I shouted.
"Mom—" Ryan said.
"Don't call me Mom." I cut him off. "The second you ran after her yesterday, that was the end for us."
He stood there, tears streaming down his face, his lips quivering as if he wanted to say something, but in the end, nothing came out.
He turned around and walked toward the door, each step heavy. When he reached the door, he stopped for a moment, his back still turned to me.
He said, "Mom, I know you can't accept this right now. You have high blood pressure, so remember to take your medicine every day. If you ever feel unwell, call me anytime." Then he pushed the door open and walked out.