Chapter 3

After that night, Darian started staying out overnight. He claimed pack work kept him swamped and said he had to go on business trips.

I knew he was with Sophia. I checked her Facebook post. There were two movie tickets and a couple's set meal in the photo.

The caption read: [After all this time, you still get me.]

I hit like on the post. Then I tossed my phone into the fish tank. I watched it sink, the screen flickering a few times before going dark. Finally, everything went quiet.

I started packing up my belongings. In fact, I didn't own much. I only had a few pieces of clothing, some pill bottles, and a whole crate of orange soda.

I emptied every pill bottle. Colorful capsules rolled all over the floor, like candy. I picked them up one by one and flushed them down the toilet.

The water swirled, taking everything away. I wasn't taking medicine anymore. It didn't help anyway.

These days, I lived a regular life.

I got up each morning to water the plant on the pack house's balcony. It was a pot of mint that had long since withered away. Still, I kept watering it.

I wanted to find out if something completely dead could ever come back to life.

At noon, I headed downstairs to feed the stray cat. To my surprise, it was still hanging around. It seemed to remember me and trotted over meowing the second it spotted me. I crouched down and stroked its head.

It was filthy, its fur all tangled and matted. It was like me, all messed up.

"No one wants you either?" I murmured to it.

It licked my finger. Its tongue was rough and scratchy, sending a tingly feeling through my skin.

I wanted to take it home, but Darian said it was dirty. He claimed anything with fur was full of germs. It was like the way he always said I was a mess.

He hated how messy my emotions were and how twisted my thoughts were.

"Sorry," I said, pulling a sausage out of my pocket and peeling it open to feed the cat. "I can barely take care of myself, let alone you."

At night, I sat on the floor of the pack house's living room, working on a puzzle.

It was a thousand-piece puzzle, all pure white. It was a total nightmare.

I kept assembling and breaking it apart. My fingertips got raw, blood seeping out. The blood stained the white pieces, like red roses on fresh snow. It looked amazing.

*****

On the third night, Darian came home. He reeked of alcohol and a woman's perfume. It was the scent Sophia always wore.

He frowned at the mess of puzzle pieces on the floor. "Still up? What kind of nonsense are you pulling now?"

I didn't look up, still trying to jam a puzzle piece where it didn't fit. "Darian, you're back."

"Where else am I supposed to go?" he snapped.

"To Sophia's place," I said calmly.

Darian paused and then let out a cold laugh. "What, keeping tabs on me? Do you have the right?"

"No. I was only asking."

"Cut the sarcastic tone, Ella. Nothing is going on between Sophia and me."

"Right, nothing at all except checking into a hotel room together."

"You stalking me?" Darian stormed over and sent the puzzle flying with a kick.

Pieces clattered everywhere. All my work from the past few days went down the drain. Tiny white fragments flew all around the room. One piece bounced up and sliced across my cheek. The burning pain stung badly.

"If you're sick, see a doctor. Stop acting crazy," he shouted.

I looked at the mess scattered across the floor and suddenly laughed. "Dari, are you angry?"

"Haven't you pissed me off enough already?" he snapped.

"Don't get so angry. If you mess up your health, Sophia will be worried about you."

"Shut up!" He squeezed my throat with brutal force. I could barely breathe, my airflow completely cut off. My lungs felt like they were on fire.

I stared at Darian's face. This was the one I'd loved for five years, yet right now his features twisted into something ferocious.

"Ella, I really want to strangle you," he growled, his jaw clenched.

"Then do it." I forced the words out. "K-Kill me, and you'll be free."

His grip tightened all of a sudden. My vision blurred, and tiny spots danced before my eyes. But as I thought my life was slipping away, he let go of me.

I collapsed to the floor, coughing violently. My throat suffered from severe pain.

Darian stood up, wiping his hands in disgust. "Kill you? That would dirty my hands."

He looked down at me. "Don't push me to the edge, Ella. I can only put up with so much."

"My patience is wearing thin, too," I said hoarsely.

"What?" he snapped.

"I mean, I'm worn out." I lifted my head to meet his gaze. "Darian, let's reject our mate bond."

It was the first time I'd brought up rejection. No matter how cruelly he treated me before, I'd clung to him stubbornly because I loved him, and he used to be my only anchor in life.

But that anchor had ended up sinking its fangs right into me.

Darian froze for a second and then burst out laughing. "Reject me? You think you can survive without me? Leave the Blackwood Pack, and you can't even pay for food.

"Your home pack is nothing but leeches. Who's gonna bail you out? Who else would take in a lunatic like you except me?"

"I don't want your money. I don't want anything from you," I said.

"Drop the act. I'm sick of your little games," he said, turning to head into the bathroom. "Go clean yourself up. I don't want that stench of poverty on you." The sound of running water filled the room.

I lay there, surrounded by puzzle pieces, the hard edges digging painfully into my back. I picked up a piece and squeezed it in my hand, the sharp corners pressing into my palm.

I stared up at the ceiling. It was a blank expanse of white, like the emptiness inside me.

Darian, you couldn't believe I'd leave. That didn't matter. You'd believe it soon enough.