Chapter 4
When I couldn't say something, he'd speak up for me.
When I doubted myself, he'd always tell me, "Everyone deserves to be themselves, no matter what their personality is.
"If there's something you can't say, I'll say it for you. If you want to hide, I'll help you blend in.
"I swear, I'll never let you be embarrassed or put on the spot. I'll always hold your hand and not let you be left alone."
At that time, I really loved him.
After leaving the venue, I walked back with tears streaming down my face.
It was January in Harbor City, and snowflakes were still falling. The cobblestone streets by the harbor were blanketed in soft white.
Holding the black umbrella I borrowed from the hotel, I made my way forward, shivering.
I couldn't get a taxi here, and my phone had completely died from the cold.
The more I thought about how pathetic I was, the more I cried, and the colder I got. For someone like me, this was pure hell.
Before I fainted, I thought I was going to die here.
When I finally came to, the harsh white glare of the hospital room stung my eyes.
The sharp scent of disinfectant hung heavy in the air.
I was so weak that all I could do was collapse on the bed.
A nurse said, "Lucky for you, a good-hearted stranger brought you to the hospital. Otherwise, you really might've frozen to death on the street yesterday."
After a whole night of fever, my voice was hoarse and raspy.
I struggled to look up and expressed thanks to the nurse in her spotless white uniform.
Still groggy, I slipped right back into a deep, hazy sleep.
I didn't know how long I'd been out, but I was woken up by the sound of a quarrel.
I turned my head. Through the small window of the VIP ward, I saw Derek cornering Iris in the hospital hallway.
Iris's face was wet with tears, but her eyes still burned with stubbornness.
She said, "The one you should love is your wife lying inside. You and I were finished. All that's left between us now is only hate."
Derek's eyes were rimmed with red, full of emotion, but he didn't even look at me.
He grabbed Iris's hand, unwilling to let go, his voice trembling as he demanded, "Am I really nothing to you compared to all those family feuds from the last generation?
"Just because of other people's drama and grudges, are you seriously going to give up on us, on everything we could have?
"Your aunt really died, but if she and my uncle were still here, wouldn't they want us who truly love each other to be happy together?
"I'm begging you, just think it over, okay?"
After Derek said that, his posture slumped, as if all the strength was draining from him.
Iris was shocked.
She never expected that Derek, usually so cool and reserved, would throw caution to the wind and say something so heartfelt.
Her voice trembled with quiet sobs, despair clouding her eyes. After a long time, she finally said, "But, Derek, we've already missed our chance."
Derek was stunned. And in that moment, he finally remembered I was still here and that he had already married.
In an instant, like a child who made a mistake, he let go of Iris's hand, looking utterly defeated.
Iris turned around, letting her tears slip quietly down her cheeks.
Her voice shook as she spoke, "All these years, love and hate have gotten mixed. I can't even tell which one is stronger anymore."
She gave a self-deprecating smile, as if she was finally letting go.
She continued, "I never hated you completely, and I never loved you without reservations.
"In the end, what I really hate is that you don't love me and your heart belongs to someone else.
"I hate why I was born into such a family, and I hate how your family kept pressuring my aunt until she died of illness.
"But in the end, even with all that hate, a part of me still longs for you. Whenever I have those feelings, I feel disgusted, like I'm betraying the aunt who raised me all those years."
I just watched their dramatic confessions, like an NPC in a melodrama.
In their tangled story of love and hate, my existence was never even mentioned.
But the man in front of me was the husband I had been married to for three years.
Turns out, even someone as calm as him could shout himself hoarse.
Iris turned around and left, and Derek cast a look back toward my ward, hesitating.
I started counting in my mind, just to see how long it would take before he went after Iris.
"One, two, three, four." Turns out, it only took him four seconds to decide how much I mattered.
Tears slipped down my face as I lay sideways, and I couldn't even tell if the buzzing in my ears was because of heartbreak or just the fever burning through me.
Every memory I had with Derek felt tainted now.
I knew that from today onwards, there'd never be another day, another year, for him and me.