Chapter 1

In the third year of my long-distance marriage, my husband and I decided to spend Valentine's Day in Ameland.

I went to the immigration office with all my documents to apply for a visa. The clerk typed for a while, then suddenly looked up at me. "Ma'am, your marital status shows divorced."

To get to the bottom of it, I took our marriage certificate to the city hall. The answer was the same. "You and Mr. Rivers finalized your divorce three years ago. He is now married to another woman named Lucy Summers. Do you know her?"

My mind went blank. A sharp ringing filled my ears, drowning out everything else.

Everyone around us had known that Jonathan had fallen for me at first sight. We went from classmates to husband and wife.

Lucy was the orphan my parents had taken in after I got lost as a child. She and Jonathan had been childhood sweethearts.

*****

I held my marriage certificate and got into the car in a daze. My phone suddenly buzzed. A message from Jonathan popped up: [Honey, I'm flying home tonight. It's cold, so don't bother coming to pick me up. Just stay home and wait for the gift I got you.]

I stared at the screen and let out a laugh. I laughed and laughed until tears rolled down my face.

For three years of long distance, he'd brought me a gift every time he came home. That was how he showed he cared. But it turned out, he had already tossed me aside and married someone else.

I remembered back in high school, when we were split into arts and sciences classes, Jonathan ended up being my only desk mate. And just like that, a year of being isolated and picked on finally came to an end.

We didn't talk much at first until the day he stepped in to stop some vocational school kids from bullying me. He got his head bashed in and needed 18 stitches.

I cried and tried to give him all the money I had on me.

But he grabbed my wrist and said, "I'm not short on cash. I saved you because I like you."

My mind went blank. I yanked my hand free and ran.

After that, I started keeping my distance.

My foster parents' marriage had fallen apart long ago, and the years of domestic violence had left scars I couldn't shake. Love and intimacy felt like walking on thin ice. My instinct was to run before I could get hurt.

But through the rest of high school, he showed up for me every single day. Rain or shine, breakfast was on my desk. When I got sick, he climbed the school wall and skipped class to buy me medicine. And whenever someone tried to pick on me, he was the first to stand in front of me.

Slowly, he broke through my defenses and opened up my heart that I had slammed shut.

After graduation, he confessed. We dated for eight years, then finally tied the knot.

In our second year of marriage, he suddenly told me his father wanted him to take over the Harborville branch.

Since I was doing my PhD in Beimora, we had no choice but to live apart.

I suppose that was when he slipped the divorce papers and let me sign without me noticing.

The first year, he came back once a week. The second year, once a month. By the third year, he had only come home twice.

He never had to explain. I always made excuses for him. He was busy with work. That was normal. That was life.

But the truth was—he'd already moved on, long before I realized it.

Just then, the ringing of my phone snapped me out of my thoughts. I glanced down. It was Lucy.

I didn't answer. A second later, she sent a message: [Anna, Henry and I are flying back to Beimora tonight. We're spending Christmas with Mom and Dad.]

I checked the flights from Harborville to Beimora that night, then drove to the airport and waited.

At 10 PM, my phone buzzed again. It was Jonathan. The message read: [Honey, I just landed. I'll be home soon.]

I looked up and saw Jonathan carrying Henry in one arm, holding Lucy's hand with the other.

The moment I saw them clearly, all the strength drained from my body. All that was left was a dull, crushing ache in my chest.

I pulled out my phone and texted Lucy: [Jonathan flew back to Beimora tonight too. Were you on the same flight?]

Her reply came almost instantly: [Henry and I are already at Mom and Dad's. If I'd known he was flying tonight too, I would've made him treat us.]

On the drive home, I rehearsed everything in my head—how I would lay out the evidence of his affair, how I would confront him, and how I would make him explain himself. But when I pushed the door open, Jonathan wasn't there.