Chapter 4

Online, Freddie's devoted fanbase split in two. Half mourned his tragic passing, while the other half relentlessly tore me apart.

[She's a killer. She belongs in prison.]

[Who knows if she planned it all along?]

[She inherited all that money, so she must be absolutely thrilled.]

On the day I brought Freddie's ashes home, his mother, Mary White, threw herself off a tall building right before my eyes.

Before her death, the woman who had showered me with maternal love for decades spoke to me with bone-chilling coldness for the very first time.

"I never should have agreed to let Freddie bring you into our home all those years ago," she said.

I desperately wanted to follow her over the edge. But behind me, Anton clutched tightly to the hem of my shirt.

I was diagnosed with severe depression, and my grasp on reality began to slip violently.

One afternoon, I took Anton out shopping. Amidst the bustling street, I suddenly heard Freddie calling my name.

I whipped my head around and saw him standing a short distance away, holding Anton's hand and waving at me.

He called out to me over and over, "Lily. Lily, come here."

I ran toward him, but he vanished in the blink of an eye.

When I snapped back to reality, I turned around, only to find Anton was nowhere to be seen.

I dialed the police, filed a report, and reviewed security footage.

The officers confirmed that Anton had been abducted.

The cameras caught a suspect wearing a mask and a hat, making their face entirely unidentifiable.

The investigation stretched out endlessly with zero promising leads.

In a matter of days, I had lost my entire family.

I bought a bottle of pills, ready to die so that I could finally be with Freddie again.

The moment the pills touched my lips, Freddie materialized before me again, demanding, "Where is Anton?"

The glass of water and the pills shattered against the floor.

I didn't even have the right to die.

Time and again, I found myself at the edge of the rooftop, or I pressed a knife to my wrist.

I genuinely believed I couldn't survive another day.

Yet I was forced to stay alive.

Having lost Anton, I had no face to meet Freddie in the afterlife.

I wandered through the world like a soulless corpse.

Searching for Anton was like finding a needle in an ocean, yet I forced myself to survive.

The agonizing cycle broke one afternoon when my search brought me to Harbor City. Amidst a sea of people, I spotted a hauntingly familiar silhouette.

It was Edward, holding Nathan's hand.

He possessed the exact same build and the exact same age as Freddie.

It felt as though destiny had hit a reset button, offering me a chance to make amends.

Deep down, I knew it was a lie, yet I was powerless against the fantasy.

I told myself that if they were still alive, I would never fail them again.

I wanted them to act selfish, cold, and utterly cruel, driving a blade straight into my heart.

I needed the punishment to pay off the boundless guilt that swallowed me alive night after night.

*****

I plunged into a horrific nightmare, eventually jolted awake by the sound of my own agonizing sobs.

The bedroom was entirely pitched black, surrounded by a freezing silence.

My forehead burned with a severe fever, and cold sweat drenched my entire body.

I must have passed out from a raging fever. I had no way of knowing how many days I had spent unconscious in that bed.

My phone rang abruptly in the dark, the screen illuminating an unknown string of digits.

I fumbled for the device and answered it, met by a man's voice. "Where are you?"

I couldn't stop crying.

Sour bile churned in my stomach while my choked sobs stole the very air from my lungs.

Shaking violently, I choked out a desperate plea. "I am at home, Freddie. I am right here at home. I am terribly sick. Please bring Anton back to see me."

My head throbbed so fiercely that it felt ready to split open. My grip on reality slipped, turning the voice on the other end into a distant echo.

I vaguely registered a sneer. "So you finally know how to crawl back and beg? I knew you could not survive three days on your own. Which home are you talking about? Did you run off to one of my other properties?"

I was sobbing so hard I could barely catch my breath.

The line went quiet for a moment before his tone laced with heavy impatience. "I am asking you a question, Lily White. Where exactly are you?"

I reached out and flicked the wall switch.

Bright light instantly flooded the bedroom, and my shattered emotions began to rebuild themselves like scattered building blocks.

My last name was Jones.

I wasn't Lily White. That was simply a fake identity I used exclusively to deceive Edward.

I stared out into the heavy darkness of the night and whispered, "You are not him."

On the phone, Edward instantly flared with temper. "Don't push your luck. While I still have a sliver of patience left-"

My voice came out hoarse as I cut him short. "Edward, we're done. Never try to contact me again. I didn't take anything you gave me. Everything is sitting in the bedroom, so feel free to throw it all out."

That included a cheap one-dollar necklace Nathan once bought from a street vendor purely to mock me.

Silence stretched across the line. Edward offered no immediate response.

A long while passed before he finally forced out an awkward, furious question. "W-What do you mean?"

I offered no further explanation.

After I ended the call, I blocked this new number as well.

I turned off the light.

Sitting blankly on the mattress, I allowed the darkness to swallow me whole.

I wondered if I needed to find another replacement now that I had abandoned Edward.

I still needed a reason to keep breathing, after all.

My phone suddenly rang.

Assuming Edward had cycled to yet another number, I scowled and glanced at the display. My breath hitched when I realized it was an incoming call from the police department.

My heart hammered wildly against my ribs as I frantically swiped to answer.

The voice on the other end delivered the exact words I had prayed for over the past year. "Ms. Jones, we have located your child. His appearance has changed quite drastically, so you need to prepare yourself mentally."