Chapter 2 · I Was Erased Alive

When we got home, Mom hauled me into the bathroom without a word and just started tearing my clothes off.

Her rough hands instantly triggered all the fear from earlier.

I couldn't help but scream and struggle. "No! Stay away from me."

But she just shoved me into the corner, turned on the shower, and sprayed me down hard, as if she could wash away all the marks on me.

I had cigarette burns all over my skin. The water hit the open wounds. It stung like acid. The water ran red down my legs. The pain was so sharp that I almost blacked out.

No matter how hard I cried or begged, she never stopped.

That "cleaning" lasted a full hour. When I was too weak to struggle anymore, she finally ordered someone to carry me back to the servants' quarters.

Just before I blacked out, I heard her coldly order. "Anne's been causing trouble at school. Lock her in. Let her reflect. She does not leave until I permit it."

Pain and despair washed over me, dragging me under.

Maybe it'd be better if I just disappeared for good.

Then Mom wouldn't have to put up with me, the daughter she hated, anymore.

But life never goes the way you want. I was burning up with fever in that small room for three whole days, until Dad came home from a trip and finally found me. He rushed me straight to the hospital.

When I woke up in the hospital room, I could hear Dad and Mom arguing like crazy in the hallway.

"She's your own daughter! Have you lost your mind? If I hadn't come back in time, would you have let her die in that room?" he shouted.

"Yes, I have. I really do wish she died. I lost my precious Esther, the daughter I raised for over ten years, all because of her. How can I love the one who caused my daughter's death?" Mom screamed.

"Esther jumped into the sea herself. What does that have to do with Anne? You're out of line!" Dad shot back.

"If she hadn't pushed Esther and competed with her in everything, Esther would still be here. Why did it have to be my girl? If I'd known this would happen, I never would have let her come home!" Mom shouted.

No matter how many times I'd heard those awful words, they cut deeper each time.

Yeah, why wasn't it me?

*****

I ended up staying a whole week in the hospital.

While I was there, Linda, the policewoman who'd helped me before, came by and told me how they'd dealt with the thugs from the alley.

They were all minors, and Mom had submitted a forgiveness statement. The police held them for fifteen days—that was all. Mom just shrugged it all off, saying I'd brought it on myself.

I never went back to school. After I got out of the hospital, I just stayed holed up in that small, dim room in the servants' quarters.

Even so, I somehow managed to piss Mom off.

It all started when Wendy Field, a servant, saw me holed up in my room every day and, took pity and brought me a plate of pasta.

Just pasta, with greens and a fried egg on top.

I was staring blankly at it, lost in thought.

Wendy gently patted my head and said, "I believe today's your 17th birthday. Ms. Esther Peyton just passed away not long ago. Mr. and Mrs. Peyton... their hearts are still too full of grief to think of anything else. I hope you understand."

I hadn't even remembered it was my birthday until she said it.

My nose prickled, but I still managed to hold back the tears.

At some point, Mom appeared at the kitchen door.

Her voice was icy cold. "What is this?"

Wendy looked a little flustered. "Ms. Peyton hasn't been eating much these past few days, so I made her some pasta."

Mom's face twisted with disgust. "Is she really going to starve herself? How long does this house have to revolve around her?"

I put down my fork and said softly, "I'm done, Mom."

Mom let out a cold laugh, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Playing the victim and acting all independent, huh? You have Wendy make you food, then refuse to eat it. Is that what they taught you in school?"

Wendy couldn't stand it anymore and spoke up, "Mrs. Peyton, today's her birthday. The pasta was my idea. Please don't blame her."

That was all it took. Mom's control snapped.

She stormed over, grabbed my chin, and before I could move, poured the steaming pasta straight into my mouth.

Her eyes were wild and red as she screamed, "My Esther is still lying in the freezing sea. How dare you have a birthday when my girl doesn't?"

Chapter 2

When we got home, Mom hauled me into the bathroom without a word and just started tearing my clothes off.

Her rough hands instantly triggered all the fear from earlier.

I couldn't help but scream and struggle. "No! Stay away from me."

But she just shoved me into the corner, turned on the shower, and sprayed me down hard, as if she could wash away all the marks on me.

I had cigarette burns all over my skin. The water hit the open wounds. It stung like acid. The water ran red down my legs. The pain was so sharp that I almost blacked out.

No matter how hard I cried or begged, she never stopped.

That "cleaning" lasted a full hour. When I was too weak to struggle anymore, she finally ordered someone to carry me back to the servants' quarters.

Just before I blacked out, I heard her coldly order. "Anne's been causing trouble at school. Lock her in. Let her reflect. She does not leave until I permit it."

Pain and despair washed over me, dragging me under.

Maybe it'd be better if I just disappeared for good.

Then Mom wouldn't have to put up with me, the daughter she hated, anymore.

But life never goes the way you want. I was burning up with fever in that small room for three whole days, until Dad came home from a trip and finally found me. He rushed me straight to the hospital.

When I woke up in the hospital room, I could hear Dad and Mom arguing like crazy in the hallway.

"She's your own daughter! Have you lost your mind? If I hadn't come back in time, would you have let her die in that room?" he shouted.

"Yes, I have. I really do wish she died. I lost my precious Esther, the daughter I raised for over ten years, all because of her. How can I love the one who caused my daughter's death?" Mom screamed.

"Esther jumped into the sea herself. What does that have to do with Anne? You're out of line!" Dad shot back.

No matter how many times I'd heard those awful words, they cut deeper each time.

Yeah, why wasn't it me?

*****

I ended up staying a whole week in the hospital.

While I was there, Linda, the policewoman who'd helped me before, came by and told me how they'd dealt with the thugs from the alley.

They were all minors, and Mom had submitted a forgiveness statement. The police held them for fifteen days—that was all. Mom just shrugged it all off, saying I'd brought it on myself.

I never went back to school. After I got out of the hospital, I just stayed holed up in that small, dim room in the servants' quarters.

Even so, I somehow managed to piss Mom off.

It all started when Wendy Field, a servant, saw me holed up in my room every day and, took pity and brought me a plate of pasta.

Just pasta, with greens and a fried egg on top.

I was staring blankly at it, lost in thought.

I hadn't even remembered it was my birthday until she said it.

My nose prickled, but I still managed to hold back the tears.

At some point, Mom appeared at the kitchen door.

Her voice was icy cold. "What is this?"

Wendy looked a little flustered. "Ms. Peyton hasn't been eating much these past few days, so I made her some pasta."

Mom's face twisted with disgust. "Is she really going to starve herself? How long does this house have to revolve around her?"

I put down my fork and said softly, "I'm done, Mom."

Wendy couldn't stand it anymore and spoke up, "Mrs. Peyton, today's her birthday. The pasta was my idea. Please don't blame her."

That was all it took. Mom's control snapped.

She stormed over, grabbed my chin, and before I could move, poured the steaming pasta straight into my mouth.

Her eyes were wild and red as she screamed, "My Esther is still lying in the freezing sea. How dare you have a birthday when my girl doesn't?"