Chapter 3

The next morning, I woke with a faint tightness low in my abdomen.

I dressed and checked the appointment confirmation on my phone: 10:40 a.m., my first full prenatal visit.

Daniel had promised the night before that he would come with me.

I did not remind him.

At nine-thirty, he was already wearing his coat and standing by the door.

I reached for my bag.

Then his phone rang.

Daniel looked at the screen, and his expression changed immediately.

"It's Noah's therapist."

He stepped away to answer and returned a few minutes later.

"The therapist wants me there at ten."

"Noah is finally willing to talk about why he's afraid I'll disappear again."

I looked at the clock.

"My appointment is at ten-forty, and the doctor said it can't be moved."

"I know."

"So what are you going to do?"

I picked up my bag while Daniel checked the clock.

"Go."

He frowned.

"Rachel, I'm not saying I won't come."

"I just need to handle Noah first."

"My hospital is across town."

"His therapist is on the other side of the city."

"You won't make it."

Daniel checked the time as if the numbers might somehow change.

"Our baby will have plenty of appointments."

My fingers tightened around the strap of my bag.

"Noah has already waited eight years for his father."

"Go."

He looked like he wanted to explain.

I opened the door before he could.

The hospital waiting room was crowded.

A pregnant woman beside me rested her head on her husband's shoulder while he held her coat and water bottle.

I looked away.

At the desk, I had already confirmed Daniel's details and handed over the forms we were meant to have completed together.

I kept the second copy in my lap until a corner began to curl.

Every time the door opened, I glanced up before I could help it.

When my phone vibrated, it was only the appointment reminder.

I turned the volume off and tucked it beneath the papers so I could pay attention when the nurse called.

By the time the nurse called my name, the tightness in my abdomen had returned.

The doctor noticed when I shifted on the exam table.

"Still having discomfort?"

"A little."

She began the ultrasound.

A few moments later, a rapid sound filled the room.

Thump-thump-thump.

I stopped breathing.

The doctor smiled.

"That's your baby's heartbeat."

I had imagined Daniel beside the examination table, holding my hand while we listened.

We had talked about a baby for so long that I had never pictured reaching this appointment without him.

The sound continued while I watched the screen, too absorbed to ask the questions I had prepared.

I stared at the tiny shape on the screen.

Tears came before I could stop them.

I reached toward the empty chair beside the exam table, then brought my hand back to my stomach.

The doctor handed me a tissue and reminded me that because I had already been experiencing abdominal discomfort, I needed to reduce physical activity and avoid unnecessary strain.

"If the pain gets worse, or if you have any bleeding, come back immediately."

I nodded.

Daniel texted while I was walking through the hospital parking lot.

How did it go?

I stood beside my car and stared at the screen.

Then I typed:

You already missed the first heartbeat.

He called a few minutes later.

"Rachel, I know you're angry, but today was important for Noah."

I looked at the ultrasound photo in my hand.

"I never said it wasn't."

"Then why are you talking to me like this?"

His voice softened.

"There will be plenty more appointments."

"I'll make it up to you."

I did not answer.

After the call ended, I slipped the ultrasound photo carefully into my bag.