Chapter 1

I was Alex's personal college study companion.

I was there for his meals, his studies, and even his nights. And for all that, I earned thirty thousand dollars a month.

One night at a party, Alex lost a game.

As punishment, his girlfriend, the campus queen, told me to pass drinks mouth-to-mouth to the other eight guys there.

I froze, looking at Alex with pleading eyes.

But he just smirked, pulled his girlfriend closer, and told me not to ruin the fun.

The next day, photos of me were all over campus, and people kept mocking me over and over.

By the end of the semester, I'd finally saved up enough to study overseas.

I left without saying goodbye, slipping away quietly.

But Alex spent the whole night sleepless, with his eyes red from exhaustion, and ended up following me overseas.

*****

The private room was brightly lit, with dice and dice cups scattered all over the table.

A bunch of guys were egging me on, their voices full of sleazy excitement, telling me to hold the drink in my mouth and pass it to each of the eight guys there.

Chloe, the campus queen, was snuggled up in Alex's arms, putting on a show of reluctance. "Alex, I don't think Emily's into it. Maybe we should just drop it?"

She was the one who came up with this punishment, but now she was acting like she was the nicest person in the room.

Alex played with Chloe's strap, his voice dripping with affection.

"How could I spoil your fun?"

"Emily's my most loyal and obedient study companion. She'll do whatever I say."

He turned to me, his gaze a clear warning.

My heart clenched, and my fingertips went cold, numb.

Ever since Chloe got together with Alex, she'd seen me as a thorn in her side.

No matter what she did, Alex just wouldn't let her get rid of me.

So Chloe made it her mission to get back at me, to make my life hell.

Those eight guys, all chubby and sleazy, were joking about clamping their mouths shut, making me use my tongue to force them open.

People were raising their phones, aiming their cameras right at me.

If I went through with it, the video would be all over campus in no time.

I'd be made a public joke, left for everyone to make fun of and shame me.

I took a deep breath, clutching the hem of my shirt as I walked up to Alex. "Alex," I pleaded, my voice trembling.

"I can chug the whole bottle of liquor to hype everyone up."

"Can we just skip the rest of it?"

I'd been by his side for fourteen years, never once saying no to him.

But this time, I was begging him to give me a break.

This was the last bit of pride I had left.

"Oh, come on. She's already eating, drinking, and sleeping with him, and now she's pretending to be pure?"

"Who knows how many guys have messed around with her before? Honestly, getting to serve Andrew and Liam tonight is probably the highlight of her pathetic life."

Chloe's friends all rolled their eyes at me.

The others looked at me with open contempt, saying I was playing the saint after being a slut.

I didn't know if it was the humiliation or the burn of the liquor, but tears welled up like a tidal wave, and I just couldn't hold them back.

Alex frowned a little, and the others, realizing they'd gone too far, fell silent, looking awkward and uncomfortable.

My vision blurred, and all I could sense was Alex leaning in, his gaze locked on me.

"Don't cry," he said softly.

He gently wiped the tears from my face with a handkerchief, just like he did when we were kids and I got bullied.

Alex was the only one who really knew what went on between us at night.

That was his secret to keep, not mine to tell. All I could do was grit my teeth and bear it in silence.

Chloe pouted, her eyes a little red. "Alex, if you can't stand to watch her do it, then I'll do it instead."

She snatched up the glass, ready to chug it herself out of spite.

Alex immediately dropped me and grabbed the glass right out of Chloe's hand.

"Babe, that's some seriously strong liquor. If you drink it, it'll tear up your throat. Are you trying to make me worry sick?"

"Tonight, you're the boss. Whatever you want, goes."

He was mostly doting, with just a touch of scolding. Chloe blushed, then jumped into his arms, her smile shining bright.

Any hesitation was gone from his eyes as he pressed the glass hard against my lips, his expression cold and unyielding.

"It's just a game. Don't make me lose my temper," he said, his voice icy.

If he got mad, Mrs. Sterling would dock my pay for the month.

I needed that money badly. Just thirty thousand dollars more, and I'd have enough to study overseas.

The liquor burned in my mouth. I kept my lips tightly shut, forcing myself to walk over to the first guy, my heart pounding with dread.

He lewdly spread his legs, waiting for me to climb onto his lap and feed him the drink mouth-to-mouth.

The game lasted until three in the morning. I curled up in the corner, numb, whispering to myself the words that kept me going.

Study abroad. Go overseas.

Get out of here.

Only by leaving this place could I finally have a normal life, where I wouldn't have to put up with all this humiliation anymore.

Alex showed up out of nowhere, like a shadow, and grabbed my wrist tight.

"Leave? Where do you think you're running off to?" he demanded.