Chapter 3

By the second year of our marriage, I couldn't bear Edward's coldness any longer.

I demanded, "Why are you treating me like this? Is it because you don't love me?

"If you never loved me, why did you marry me? Was it out of pity?

"All I want is for us to live like a normal couple. Is that too much to ask?"

Edward remained frozen, aloof, as if my words meant nothing.

I started throwing things, losing control, screaming until my throat burned.

"Edward, you're a heartless bastard! I must have lost my mind to ever fall for you.

"No wonder you have no one. Men like you don't deserve to be loved."

I caught a flash of anger in his eyes, but still, he said nothing.

After that day, he never came back.

Later, I found out he had gone to Lily, settled her into a place, and moved in with her.

They carried on like two people who couldn't live without each other, while I withered away alone in our empty home.

Whenever I thought of it, it felt like a blade twisting in my chest. I wanted to hurt him, but what could I possibly do?

Even if I died, he would stay wrapped up in his lover's arms without a trace of guilt.

He had become a magistrate, and my father was only a merchant. He had no power over Edward.

The only way to strike back was to stay alive, to remind him every day that he still had a wife. Lily would always be the other woman, nothing more.

Even if he tried to be rid of me, I would never let him succeed.

Though my father wasn't a man of high status, he had connections. Those people would show him some respect, and they would never allow Edward to pull it off.

All those years, I begged him, broke down in front of him, but he never cared. He left me to fade away in loneliness.

He never once reached out. I withered in despair, growing older and more forsaken, until death claimed me.

*****

I snapped back to the present and looked at Edward. Resentment surged from my chest to my head. He was every bit as cold as I remembered.

My whole body trembled, and I had to force myself to keep my hands at my sides. Truth be told, I was afraid I might lose control and hit him.

Even when I died, he never came to see me, as if I had been erased from his memory.

Did he hate me that much? Was he so desperate to never lay eyes on me again?

I thought back over everything I had done, and truly, I had never wronged him.

Even if he didn't love me, he could have said so from the start. I wanted his love, yes, but I never forced it on him.

I was always the one walking on eggshells, afraid to upset him. And he never turned me away, not when we married.

If he didn't love me, he could have not married me. We could have gone our separate ways and been fine. So why did he marry me, only to treat me like this?

Lily was as sharp and theatrical as ever. "Miss Sinclair? Please," she scoffed. "If it weren't for your father, you'd be nothing. My Edward couldn't care less about your pathetic money."

I studied her. She was petite, with a delicate face and a touch of makeup, the kind of woman who made men want to protect her.

Her clothes had clearly been chosen with care, though the style was outdated.

This was the woman Edward could never forget, the one he would choose over his own wife, even if it meant leaving that wife to grow old alone.

It was the same as in my previous life. I only wanted to help Edward, and truth be told, there was nothing unusual about it. Many struggling scholars were borrowing from wealthy merchants.

To spare Edward's pride, I always called it a loan, telling him he could pay me back whenever he liked. Edward never seemed to mind.

But Lily would always jump in, accusing me of humiliating him.

According to her, the scholars didn't need my help, and I was only trying to make Edward feel small, to put him in my debt.

Watching her carry on like that, I couldn't help but find it absurd.

"Did I ever say the money was for him?" I clapped my hands and motioned for the servants to come forward. "Give the silver coins to the servants here. They've earned it."

Edward looked at me, completely stunned.

Lily's mouth fell open, staring at me in disbelief. "What did you say?"

I replied with a smirk, "Weren't you the one accusing me of disrespecting a scholar? I wouldn't dare make an enemy of everyone.

"So if your precious Edward wants to go out and enjoy himself at those places, the two of you can figure out how to pay for it yourselves."