Chapter 5
I checked into a hotel near the office.
The room was small, with an overpass outside the window and headlights sliding past in rows, and the air conditioning lifted the corner of the blanket.
I took a long shower.
The hot water ran over the red scratch the zipper had left on my back, and it stung enough that I bit my wrist.
My phone kept buzzing, so I turned it off and threw myself onto the bed.
When I shut my eyes, the photographer's line was still there.
"You're blocking the light."
Whose light was I blocking?
My whole life, wherever I stood, somebody said I was in the way.
In the way of Sophie being adored.
In the way of my parents having peace.
In the way of Alex looking good.
I rolled over and looked at the ceiling.
From then on, I would stay out of everyone's light.
The next morning, I went to the law firm.
The lawyer who met me was Daniel Quinn, and a college classmate had put us in touch.
He had on a dark gray shirt with the sleeves rolled, and an untouched cup of black coffee sat on his desk.
I laid out the contracts, the transfer records, and the wedding payment receipts one by one.
"I want to cancel all the wedding contracts. Refund what can be refunded and split the rest by fault.
"Alex and I never registered. The apartment is my lease, and I want my keys back. And I want him and my family to leave me alone."
Daniel paused for a moment as he flipped through the documents.
"Are you sure?"
I nodded.
He watched me for a few seconds, said nothing to talk me out of it, and sorted the papers into stacks.
"First, I'll send a legal notice. We'll handle the wedding costs based on who paid and who signed the contracts.
"On the harassment, keep the call logs, the texts, and any video of them showing up. If it escalates, we go to the police."
He said it level, as though he were pulling one loose thread at a time out of a knot for me.
The pen scratched across the paper as I signed.
Daniel asked, out of nowhere, "Do you want them notified so they can come in and talk?"
I thought for a moment.
"No."
"Why not?"
I looked up. "As I said, they don't understand it."
Daniel didn't ask anything else.
When I left the firm, I turned my phone back on, and the messages came in.
Mom: [Your father's blood pressure is up. Are you satisfied?]
Dad: [Don't give people something to laugh at. Come home for dinner tonight and settle this.]
Alex: [I'm downstairs at your office. Come see me.]
Sophie sent a photo of herself on an IV drip.
Sophie: [Emily, I know I was wrong. Please don't give up on me.]
I stared at that photo.
The needle was in the back of her hand, the tape lined up neatly, and the couch at home was behind her.
It wasn't in the hospital.
Mom had probably called the family doctor out.
I once ran a fever of 102 and had to take a cab to the ER and wait in line alone, and Mom said over the phone, "Sophie has a competition today, and I can't get away. Pick up your own medicine."
The waiting room was loud that day, with kids crying and old men coughing, and the drip came down one bead at a time while I counted the bag until it got dark outside.
I deleted Sophie's message.
When I got to my office building, Alex was standing there, the way I knew he would be.
He looked like he hadn't slept, with stubble on his jaw and his suit creased, and he had my coat in his hand.
The same coat he'd once draped over my shoulders.
When he saw me, he hurried over.
"Emily," he called out.
I stopped three steps away from him.
"Where are the keys?" I asked.
He stopped in his tracks.
"You came down here for the keys?"
"What else?"
Alex swallowed and pressed his voice down. "I was out of line yesterday, and I'm sorry. Sophie deleted the post. She cried all night, and she knows she was wrong."
I looked at him. "She cried. So what?"
He frowned. "Do you really have to be this heartless?"
"Alex, you used to tell me I was too sensible."
He said nothing.
"Now that I'm not, you call me cold."
Alex closed his hand around the coat. "Four years, and you can drop it just like that?"