Chapter 2
Everything changed when Joyce turned twenty.
The always elegant and quiet Joyce fled her engagement party and ended up dying in that tragic flight.
With her diary exposed, the Gilbert family's crisis and all its dirty laundry were out in the open for the world to see.
It turned out that their so-called "love" for each other was fake. Joyce was being used by our parents.
There was no perfect love behind their marriage, just my parents' shameless plotting and selfish maneuvering.
Joyce's only chance to do something for herself ended with her death.
I was carrying all the Gilbert family's last hopes on my shoulders as I hurried into an engagement and marriage.
It was all about restoring the Hart family's honor and keeping the Gilbert family from going under.
Through it all, I didn't even have time to tell if I was grieving or secretly relieved.
Even as a stand-in, I still married the guy I'd secretly loved since I was a girl.
When we exchanged rings, my heart still raced.
Even when it came time to kiss me as the bride, Derek barely brushed my lips and left a comment that would stick with us forever.
He said, "If you don't want this, why force yourself?"
Back then, we agreed to do it just for show, but after ten years of marriage, I realized I had fallen for it.
He gave his all in everything for me, yet he still didn't love me.
By the time the party ended, it was already past midnight.
I couldn't tell if it was the booze or just a headache. I got in the car and just slept in a daze the whole way.
Half-awake, I caught Derek on the phone, flirting with some new girl.
It was the same sweet talk. He never got tired of saying it, but I'd heard it all a million times before.
During a pause, I felt him touch my face.
All of a sudden, the car slammed to a stop, and Derek cursed, "Shit, you didn't tell me you were running a fever."
He hung up the phone in a rush, frantically throwing his jacket over me.
I thought I heard him call my nickname, "Brie".
I was likely delirious from the fever, but I gave a faint, bitter smile.
He always called me by my name, as if leaving out a single syllable might make me think I was the Gilbert girl he actually wanted to marry.
Perhaps people were both more vulnerable and more lucid when they were sick.
A sudden weariness rose within me, for him and for the love that went unanswered.
The car started moving, and with the speed and that floating feeling, I couldn't tell whether we were going fast or slow.
He seemed to be answering calls nonstop, blurting out words like "soon", "the doctor", and "it will be okay".
Maybe I was just imagining it.
The car stopped again. I struggled to lift my head and watched him unbuckle, jump out, and rush straight to the petite figure waiting at the hospital entrance.
Gloria was wrapped tightly in his arms.
Those bits and pieces he said earlier finally came together and made sense.
He was saying, "Wait for me. Don't do anything crazy. I'm almost there, baby. It'll be okay."
All of it was for her.
Even from just a few steps away, I could hear her crying, her sobs full of hurt.
I heard him comforting her in that gentle voice. "How could I ever let you hurt yourself? Okay, we're not breaking up. We'll talk things through about the baby, alright?"
Pain and memories I'd tried to bury deep inside came flooding back, all at once.
There had been a child six months after we got married.
Back then, I was tiptoeing around the Hart family while running myself ragged for the Gilbert family. Before I even realized what was happening, the baby stopped growing.
I'd never forget how cold Derek sounded outside my ward. "Guess it's better this way. It was never meant to be."
After that day, we settled into a silent understanding.
He kept living his wild, carefree life as long as the Gilbert family stayed afloat.
He could date whoever he wanted as long as it didn't cause any real trouble.
Yet now, he was the first to break our deal.
With both my parents gone, the Gilbert family was nothing but a shell. And as for Derek, I was done pretending. No more forcing myself to hold on.
I leaned against the car window, every breath burning in my chest.
He calmed Gloria down, then came back for me.
He opened the door, slipped my arm around his neck, and carried me all the way to the emergency room.
Over his shoulder, I caught Gloria sniffling, glaring at me like I was dirt.
As he passed by, she reached out, desperate to grab his sleeve, but she just caught air.
He strode forward, his chiseled features set in a grim, unyielding expression.
He always gave me the illusion, that however long he stayed away, he'd come back.
However, this time, I shook my head. "Derek, let's get a divorce."
He paused, not even bothering to look at me. "What?"
"Let's get a divorce, okay?" I said.
He looked conflicted, then puzzled, and finally let out a small laugh. "Not going to try anymore? Maybe—"
He glanced at me, a teasing smile playing on his lips. "Maybe I'll finally come back to you."
I laughed as well, eyes warming from the fever. "What can we do? No more thrill left. Guess we'll just be like buddies."
For a split second, Derek's face froze, his jaw clenched so hard that the muscles in his jaw pulled taut.
"Not thrilling enough for you?" he shot back.
My eyes were swimming with tears, but I kept on smiling. "We never should have gotten married. Maybe we should have just done what you joked about back then.
"Do you remember what you said?" I mimicked his tone. "Briana? We're just buddies."