Chapter 2

My family never cared about me.

For ten years, I always felt like I belonged to this family.

Even though I lived far away and rarely went home, I sent money every month, gave gifts for every holiday, and checked in on everyone whenever I called.

I thought distance was the only thing keeping me apart, not that I'd been pushed out.

But when I looked back now, the signs were always there.

Whenever I went home for the holidays, the whole family would sit around the table, talking about stuff I couldn't get a word in about.

"Did you guys go check out that new development?"

"Yeah, we did, but the layout sucked."

"Antonio can say 'Grandpa' now."

"Seriously? Come on, let's hear it."

Everyone was talking and laughing, the room buzzing with energy.

I sat there, feeling like an outsider.

I tried to join the conversation. "What development?"

My mom shot me a look. "You don't even live here. It's not like you'd understand anyway."

Mom just went right back to chatting with everyone else.

I grabbed some food, kept my head down, and ate quietly.

One year during New Year's, I ended up washing dishes in the kitchen.

I overheard my mom talking to Kiara in the living room. "How much did Jessie send this time?"

Kiara said, "1,500 dollars."

Mom let out a dismissive snort. "That's it? Look at Josh's sister. She sends her family 3,000 dollars every single month."

I stood there in the kitchen doorway, holding a plate.

They didn't even notice me.

Kiara said, "She only makes 2,500 dollars a month. Sending 1,500 dollars is already a lot."

Mom shot back, "2,500 dollars? That's just because she's not ambitious enough. You didn't make much back then either, but you still managed to get a government job."

Kiara didn't say anything.

Mom said, "Fine, just give it. It's better than nothing."

I kept those five words in my mind for three years.

Every month, whenever I sent money, their words would come back to me.

What I gave wasn't money.

It was treated as nothing more than "better than nothing."

What really pushed me over the edge wasn't the Instagram stuff.

It was what happened when my dad was in the hospital.

Last October, I called home.

My mom picked up.

"Mom, where's Dad?" I asked.

"He's out for a walk," she said.

"How's he been lately?" I asked.

"He's doing fine," she replied.

A month later, I went home for a break.

My dad looked way thinner than before.

His face was sunken, the flesh on his cheeks practically gone.

I stared at him, stunned. "Dad, what happened to you? Why are you so skinny?"

My dad just smiled. "I'm on a diet."

My mom chimed in, "He hasn't been eating much lately, but it's nothing to worry about."

I believed them.

But last month, one of my distant cousins sent me a friend request on WhatsApp, and we started chatting.

Nadia asked, "How's your dad doing after the surgery?"

I froze.

"What surgery?" I asked.

Nadia looked just as surprised.

"You seriously don't know? Last September, your dad had surgery. They had to remove something... You really had no idea?" Nadia asked.

I had no idea.

Last September, when I called, my mom said he was "out for a walk."

He was in the hospital.

"Who went to the hospital with him?" I asked.

Nadia said, "Your mom, Kiara, Parker, and Lily."

"Was everyone told?" I asked.

"It was all posted in the family group chat," Nadia replied.

Family group chat.

What family group chat?

I searched through all my chats, but there wasn't a single family group.

I'd never been invited to any family group chat.

That night, I sent Nadia a message.

"Hey Nadia, could you send me some screenshots from the family group chat?" I asked.

She hesitated for a long time.

After a long pause, Nadia finally sent the screenshots to me.

I scrolled through each one, taking it all in.

The group chat was named "Family."

Mom, Dad, Kiara, Parker, Lily, and Leonard were all in it.

But my name was nowhere to be found.

I scrolled back to last September.

Mom dropped a message: [Zakariya is having surgery. Everyone, don't panic.]

Kiara asked: [Mom, should we tell Jessie?]

Mom answered with just one line.

I stared at that line for a long time.

She said: [Don't tell her. If she finds out, she'll just show up again, and she won't be able to help with anything.]

[We'll just have to take care of her and give her a place to stay and something to eat.]

My dad was having surgery.

And Mom was worried I'd come back because she'd have to take care of me.

I kept scrolling down.

There was more.

When Kiara was buying her house, they were discussing the down payment in the group chat.

Mom said: [Just get as much as you can from Jessie. She's out there on her own. It's not like she has much to spend money on anyway.]

I kept scrolling down.

It was when New Year's came around.