Chapter 4
Freddie stood there, staring at me through the shrinking crack of the elevator doors, his gaze intense and layered.
That look was so tangled and complex, it felt like a web, completely ensnaring me and leaving me frozen and helpless.
Only when the elevator doors finally closed, shutting out his eyes for good, did the spell break.
Only then did I feel like all the strength had been sucked out of me, and I slumped against the cold metal wall of the elevator.
In the elevator's shiny surface, my reflection stared back—makeup smeared, hair a mess, eyes hollow and lost.
There wasn't a shred left of that award-winning host aura.
All that was left was a clown who'd just ruined the biggest performance of her life.
Meet you at Pinnacle Tower?
Meet you at pinnacle?
My life, my beliefs, and the decade I took such pride in turned into a cruel joke by something so absurdly mistaken.
I rushed out of the TV station and flagged down a cab.
When I told the driver my address, my voice came out hoarse and shaky.
The driver glanced at me in the rearview mirror, didn't say a word, and quietly started the car.
Outside, the city was a blur of neon and headlights—dazzling, but all that glitz was just a hollow illusion.
I'd drawn strength from this view more times than I could count.
I'd always told myself, 'Arabella, just a little more, you're one step closer to the pinnacle.'
But now, I realized I was just a fool who'd lost her way, still thinking she was on the right track.
The summit I'd spent my whole life chasing after was never even real.
What remained was a signal tower I'd forgotten for ten years —and the boy who waited there alone all night.
My heart felt like it was drenched in lemon juice. It was so sour that it ached, the pain almost too much to bear.
When I got home, I didn't even have the strength to turn on the lights.
I just collapsed onto the couch, letting the darkness swallow me whole.
It had been ten years.
How did I ever convince myself he was the villain—the one who made empty promises and then walked away?
How did I keep using that promise to drive myself forward, all while quietly blaming him in my heart?
I even felt proud of all that I'd accomplished.
I thought I'd finally earned the right to stand beside him, with the confidence of a winner.
But then he said something that shattered me.
"I spent the whole night waiting for you at Pinnacle Tower," he said.
He waited for me for all night.
What must Freddie have felt, eighteen and alone, waiting from sunset to sunrise at Pinnacle Tower?
Did he ever wonder why the girl who'd blushed and confessed to him never came?
When did it finally hit him that he'd been left hanging?
I couldn't even bring myself to imagine it.
Every time I thought about it, the guilt in my chest just got heavier and heavier.
By the end, it was so heavy I could barely breathe.
I took his most genuine, heartfelt feelings and just brushed them off like they meant nothing.
And for ten whole years, I shamelessly used that as fuel for my own life, never once feeling bad about it.
My phone was buzzing like crazy in my bag.
I didn't even have to look at the screen to know who it was. It was either my assistant, my best friend Maya Chapman, or someone from the show's crew.
I didn't want to answer.
Right now, all I wanted was to hide away and nurse this wound of shame that had been festering for ten years.
But my phone just wouldn't stop ringing.
Finally, I grabbed my phone, ready to shut it off.
The screen lit up with Maya's name.
Maya was my best friend and the mastermind behind my confession to Freddie all those years ago.
I sniffled and swiped to answer.
"Hey." My voice was barely there, like a wisp of smoke.
Maya's voice fired off. "Arabella, where did you go? Your assistant is nearly in tears. She called me and said you ran out of the studio crying.
"Did you see Freddie? How did it go? Was it everything you dreamed of?"
She was still clueless.
Her excitement stabbed right through the front I'd been desperately holding up.
"Maya," I croaked, barely holding back tears, "I screwed everything up."
"What do you mean? The interview went badly? No way, interviews are your superpower," she said.
"It wasn't the interview..." I opened my mouth, but I had no idea how to explain this whole ridiculous mess to her.
Finally, I choked out, "Maya, I'm a liar.
"I'm the biggest idiot ever—someone who messed with someone else's feelings and then spent ten years believing my own lies."
Finally, the floodgates broke and I couldn't hold back my tears anymore.
Just then, the doorbell rang.
It was abrupt and relentless.
In the dead of night, it felt like it was knocking right on my heart.
Maya could hear it too.
"Who could that be? It's so late," Maya asked.
I clutched my phone, frozen in place.
A crazy suspicion hit me.
I made my way unsteadily to the door and peered through the peephole.
Under the hallway lights, I saw a tall, slender figure standing there.
There was only one person it could be.
It was Freddie, standing right there.
Why was he here?