Chapter 1

The day I confessed to Rafael Shepard, I poured every last bit of courage I had into it. But all I got in return was his apology. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize this would make you uncomfortable. I have a girlfriend."

After that, I became a laughingstock. People in our circle mocked me for it for a long time.

Years later, I returned to the country to take over the company. Rafael stood in front of me, his eyes red. "Do you... still like me?" he asked.

The man who had once been something I could never reach now stood so close that he almost felt unreal.

I didn't mock him, and I only said calmly, "I'm sorry. I've always just seen you as a brother."

*****

When Rafael Shepard walked into the private room, everyone looked uncomfortable.

The drama back then had been ugly, and tonight was supposed to be a welcome party just for me. Nobody expected Rafael to show up.

"Don't look at me. I didn't say anything," my best friend said, shaking her head with an awkward expression. Watching Rafael settle in like he belonged there, I instantly lost all interest.

"Well, if it isn't Rafael. What wind blew you in tonight?" one of my friends said, her voice laced with sarcasm as she caught my annoyed look.

Rafael stayed silent for a while. Then, with his eyes red-rimmed, he slowly turned to me. "Phoebe, do you still like me?"

I stared at him, stunned, but before I could say a word, my friend slammed her glass down on the table, her tone full of mockery. "Rafael, do you even hear yourself? You and Lauryn are about to get married. What are you trying to do?"

Rafael acted like he couldn't see all the whispering and pointing from our friends. He just stubbornly kept his eyes on me, waiting for me to say something.

I looked up at him, my voice calm and sincere. "Sorry, I only see you as a brother."

I honestly had no idea what he was trying to do by showing up here.

Rafael and I pretty much grew up side by side. He was the king of the kids back then, and I was his little sidekick, trailing after him every day. He always treated me like I belonged to his team.

That winter when I was six was brutally cold. My parents were never home, and the nanny didn't even notice when I snuck out on my own.

The river in the dead of winter was icy enough to sting. I slipped and fell in, tried to fight my way back up, but my soaked cotton coat kept pulling me under.

I still didn't know how Rafael found me, but with so many kids around, he was the only one who jumped into that freezing river and dragged me out of the haze.

He saved me, but ended up shivering like crazy from the cold himself.

After the drowning incident, my parents replaced the old nanny, and suddenly, I had no one to play with.

But Rafael wouldn't let me feel alone. He'd take me to his house, invite me over as a guest, and have me join his family for meals.

Before we turned eighteen, we spent almost all our free time together.

Back in high school, our classmates were pretty immature. They'd always crack jokes about how close Rafael and I were. Even our friends would say we looked like we were made for each other.

I didn't really know what it meant to be a perfect match. All I knew was, every time I snuck past Rafael's classroom after class just to catch a glimpse of him, I'd feel happy for the rest of the day.

I honestly thought he liked me too.

I was sure he did. He never denied it when our friends teased us. He let me follow him around, and he'd even bring me home for dinner.

If he didn't like me, then why didn't he just turn me down?

I was sure he had feelings for me, at least a little. On my eighteenth birthday, with everyone watching, I cut out the heart-shaped piece from the cake and handed it to Rafael, acting proud but trying to play it cool.

"I like you. Be with me," I said.

Saying those words took every ounce of courage I had. I waited anxiously for his answer, but suddenly, I heard a soft sob.

Rafael snapped back to reality in an instant. He tossed the cake onto the floor, his voice colder than I'd ever heard it.

"Sorry, I didn't realize I was making you think something else. I have a girlfriend," he said.

He didn't even finish his sentence before he bolted out, leaving me frozen in the hall, not knowing what to do next, just staring at the chaos he left behind.

All my glamorous makeup, styled hair, and that sparkling crown—they felt like nothing but a joke, just props to cover up how clueless I was inside.

The whole thing turned into a huge mess. Rafael's girlfriend threw a fit and wouldn't let it drop, so at our next group dinner, Rafael had to address it again, making it clear once more that he wasn't into me.

I became the punchline of every joke in our circle. Everyone and their mother mocked me for being hopelessly devoted to him all those years, calling me a total simp.

Word eventually got back to my parents, and they rushed home from overseas, demanding answers from the Shepard family.

Rafael sent me an apology, but he never bothered to say it to my face.

So strange—did he really think a single sorry would erase everything, like nothing ever happened?

It hit me then that Rafael had always been the center of my world, ever since I was a kid. Everything I did somehow revolved around him; he was always there, taking up all the space in my life.

But to him, I was just a small piece of his life, the kind he could easily let go of.

All those years, he had a girlfriend and I never even knew.