Chapter 4
The soft act cracked across Naomi's face.
Samuel stood up.
"That's enough," he said.
I turned to him.
"Feeling sorry for her?"
He gritted his teeth.
"Lauren, don't make people out to be filthy."
I laughed.
"I used to think the same way, Samuel.
"Then I worked out that the clean ones are the ones on their knees scrubbing.
"The dirty ones only do the walking."
The words landed, and every bit of color left Naomi's face.
Samuel stared at me with anger in his eyes and a fear underneath it that he hadn't caught yet.
"You've turned into someone I don't recognize."
I said, "That's a good thing.
"The Lauren before this didn't recognize herself either."
He held my eyes for a long moment, then reached over and took the envelope off my nightstand.
I shot upright, and pain tore straight through my arm.
"Give it back," I said.
Samuel gripped it tighter.
"We'll talk when you've calmed down."
I grabbed for it, and he pulled it out of reach.
The next second, the door swung open.
Oliver stood there, and the look on his face was frightening.
"She told you to give it back."
Samuel turned to him.
"This is between us," he said.
Oliver walked in.
He said, "Taking things from a patient in my ward stops being a private matter."
Samuel let out a cold laugh.
"Dr. Grant, you really can't mind your own business, can you?" he said.
Oliver ignored him and looked at me.
"Do you want me to call the police?"
Samuel's face changed in an instant.
Naomi rushed forward.
"Oliver, don't. Sam didn't mean anything by it."
Oliver finally shot her a cold look.
"Naomi. Shut your mouth."
Naomi froze.
I was stunned, too.
Samuel frowned.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Oliver's tone stayed flat.
"I've seen the dashcam footage from the crash."
The air in the room felt like it was being squeezed tight.
Naomi quickly tucked her hand into her sleeve.
"What footage?" Samuel said.
Oliver looked at him.
"Your camera was broken. The truck that hit you had one that worked.
"Twenty seconds before impact, somebody in the back seat lunged forward and grabbed the driver's headrest."
Samuel's head snapped toward Naomi.
Naomin's face went completely pale.
She said, "No, I was scared, that's all."
"A second before he swerved, you turned around to look at her," Oliver went on.
I looked at Samuel.
The shock on his face wasn't an act.
He hadn't known either.
Naomi finally panicked.
"I didn't do it on purpose. I was scared. We were going so fast, and I grabbed you because I was scared!"
A piece of the minute before the crash came back to me.
I had been in the middle of warning him.
"That truck up ahead is drifting over the line."
Before he could react, Naomi shouted from the back seat.
"Sam!"
The car lurched hard to one side.
And then came the crash.
I always thought it was just panic in the heat of the moment.
I understood then that some accidents were one person shoving their panic onto everybody else.
Samuel looked at Naomi.
"Why did you grab me like that?" he asked.
She shook her head through the crying.
"I really didn't mean to. I was scared you'd stop wanting me around."
The room went dead quiet after that.
Samuel looked like he'd been slapped.
But I just laughed.
"There it is, finally."
Naomi covered her mouth while the tears kept coming.
"That's not what I meant. I only... I've been leaning on you too much lately."
Samuel watched her with something complicated working in his eyes.
Her crying used to end every argument on the spot.
This time, he didn't move.
The whole thing suddenly bored me.
There was a stretch of years when I fought Naomi for every second of his attention.
He was finally starting to see her clearly, and I no longer wanted what he was seeing with.
I reached out my hand.
"The folder," I said.
Samuel hesitated, then handed it over.
I set it back beside my pillow.
"You two, get out," I said.
Samuel looked at me.
"Lauren," he said.
I cut him off.
"I'm not giving you a choice anymore," I said.
"I'm just letting you know."
He just stood there, like he couldn't understand me for the first time.
I closed my eyes.
"It doesn't hurt anymore, Samuel.
"That isn't forgiveness.
"That's nothing left."