Chapter 1
Three minutes before my defense, I found that all the presentations I had built were gone, replaced by pages of garbage characters and a selfie of Sophie Myers.
My childhood friend of twenty years sent a message. Charlie Evans: [Olivia, Sophie's depression is flaring up. Let her have the grad school spot this time. You're strong, and you'll get other chances.]
To clear a path for the girl he loved, he was willing to burn down my future with his own hands.
I looked at the man in the audience who was waiting for me to fall apart, and I pulled the projector cable out without any expression on my face.
He wanted to force me out, and that was never going to happen.
The defense did not need slides that day, and my life did not need any more garbage.
*****
The air conditioning backstage was running hard, but my hands and feet were cold for a different reason, because I was sick to my stomach.
A minute earlier, to make sure nothing went wrong, I had checked my presentation files one last time.
The all economic model analysis I had spent half a month of all nighters on, built out of nearly a hundred foreign journal articles, was gone.
In its place were a few pages of meaningless characters, and on the last page sat a selfie of Sophie Myers.
She was dressed in a pure white lace nightgown, biting her finger with those big innocent eyes, looking all sad and helpless for the camera.
It was the same flash drive I had wiped clean the day before.
I stared at the screen while my stomach turned over.
My phone was going off in my palm, and Charlie's name was lighting up the screen.
I opened it, and the words on it took apart everything I believed.
Charlie: [Olivia, Sophie's depression is really bad. If she doesn't get the grad school spot this time, she says she can't survive it.]
Charlie: [You're strong, and you'll have other shots at grad school or at going abroad, so let her have this one.]
Charlie: [I swapped the files, so don't take it out on her. She was only scared.]
Every word of it worked on my nerves like a dull, rusted saw.
I looked up through the gap in the backstage curtain, toward the corner of the audience where the two of them sat.
Charlie was there, opening a bottle of water and handing it carefully to Sophie beside him.
Sophie was pale and slumped back in her chair like she might pass out at any second.
Charlie's face was all concern, and he even reached up to block the spotlight from her eyes.
That was the childhood friend I had known for twenty years, the one who grew up beside me and swore he would always have my back and never let anybody hurt me.
And now, for another woman, he was the one who had put the knife in my back.
He knew better than anybody what that defense meant to me.
The grad school spot at Kingston's business and economics school was not only a way to skip the entrance exams. It was the one direct doctoral slot, working under the top economist in the country.
It was the only thing I had worked toward for three years of college.
For that chance I had given up every bit of a social life, slept four hours a night, and practically lived in the library.
And Sophie?
She skipped class, failed courses, went from one club mixer to the next, and put all of her energy into makeup and landing rich boyfriends.
And now, because she said her depression was flaring up, I was supposed to hand over what I had nearly killed myself for, and because I was strong, I was the one who deserved to be sacrificed.
Charlie: [Olivia, are you trying to push her over the edge?]
When I didn't answer, Charlie sent another one.
Even through the screen I could see the frown on his face and the look that said I was the one being unreasonable.
Push her over the edge?
I wanted to know who was really pushing whom into a corner.
If I went up on that stage with no slides and made a fool of myself and they disqualified me, my academic record would carry the stain forever.
I would not only lose the grad school spot but might get written up in front of the whole school for a bad attitude.
Charlie had a cold heart, and to please that fragile little angel of his, he was willing to ruin me.
"Next up, Olivia Lane. Please come to the stage."
The host's voice carried through the hall with a note of anticipation, because I was the top student of the year and everybody was waiting to watch me deliver.
I took a deep breath and turned off my phone screen.
They wanted to watch me cry and walk off the stage.
They wanted to watch me come apart so the two of them could climb over me.
That was never going to happen.
There had never been a word for quitting in my life.
If they wanted to play dirty, they could not complain about what came back at them.
I straightened my collar, picked up the sabotaged flash drive, and walked into the spotlight with a steady step.
Charlie and Sophie needed to watch closely.
They were about to see what real ability looked like.