Chapter 5
After returning home, I packed my passport, several changes of clothes, and the jewelry my mother had left me.
My private sketchbooks went into the suitcase as well.
The closet still held too many pieces of the life Alexander and I had shared. I couldn't decide what to do with most of them, so I took only what mattered most.
Removing my wedding ring took some effort.
My fingers were slightly swollen after the long flight, and the band caught against my knuckle. I had to twist it several times before it finally came free.
I placed it on the nightstand.
Downstairs, the front door unlocked.
Alexander had returned earlier than I expected.
When he entered the bedroom, he was still wearing the black shirt from the wedding. His sleeves were rolled to his elbows, his tie was gone, and his jacket hung over one arm.
He stopped in the doorway when he saw me and the open suitcase on the bed.
"Babe?"
His surprise looked genuine.
"Why are you home today?"
I stared at him without answering.
Alexander quickly crossed the room, placed his jacket over a chair, and took the folded clothes from my hands.
"Why didn't you tell me you changed your flight? I could've picked you up from the airport."
He straightened the cuff he had disturbed, his voice carrying the familiar trace of reproach. Whenever I handled my own travel arrangements, he reacted this way, as if collecting me from the airport was something he could never leave to anyone else.
I smelled champagne on him.
A tiny white petal clung near his collar.
"Did your plans for tonight end early?"
"They just wrapped up."
Alexander placed the clothes in the suitcase and noticed my wedding ring on the nightstand.
He picked it up and automatically reached for my left hand.
"Why did you take this off?"
I pulled my hand away.
"It was too tight."
He didn't try to force it back onto my finger. He returned it to the nightstand and touched my cheek instead.
"You look exhausted. Couldn't sleep on the plane again?"
His thumb brushed the corner of my eye with the ease of seven years of habit.
A few hours ago, he had used that same hand to hold Camille's while sliding my ring over her finger.
Nausea tightened my stomach.
I turned my face away.
Alexander's hand paused.
"Did something go wrong on the trip?"
He assumed my silence was about work. He took a nightgown out of the suitcase and returned it to its drawer.
"Those suppliers always try to add conditions at the last minute. I've told you before, you don't have to handle everything yourself. Let the team take care of the rest. Stay home and rest tomorrow."
As he spoke, he put away the clothes scattered across the bed. He even remembered to hang the dress that wrinkled easily.
If I hadn't come home early, he probably would have gone to the airport tomorrow afternoon.
He could marry another woman today, then load my suitcase into the trunk tomorrow and ask whether I had eaten.
"Alexander."
He turned toward me.
I wanted to ask whether the champagne at the wedding had been good, or if Camille had cried when he placed the ring on her finger.
But he looked so normal.
I suddenly wanted to know how long he intended to continue this performance.
"It's nothing. I'm just tired."
Alexander put down the hanger, stepped behind me, and drew me into his arms.
"Then stop packing."
His chin settled near my hair as his arms slowly tightened around me.
"Why are you so cold, babe?"
He pulled me closer.
"Let me hold you for a while."