Chapter 1

As soon as I got my hearing back, I couldn't wait to share the news with my boyfriend, Alex Janssen. I rushed to the bar where he was hanging out with his friends.

But before I could say anything, I overheard one of his buddies say, "Hey, your girlfriend's here. Too bad she'll never be the excuse for you to get drunk."

I froze in my tracks.

Alex's eyes landed on me. "She lost her hearing to save me. Of course, I'll marry her and take responsibility for her. As for Beth, she's just part of my past now."

His buddy laughed. "If you don't love Beth anymore, why are you still secretly watching her and saving her photo?"

Alex fell silent.

But later, I stumbled upon something that blew my mind. The photo Alex had treasured all this time was actually of me when I was a kid. Beth Quinn had been pretending to be me from the very beginning.

*****

I never thought that the reason Alex agreed to marry me was just because he felt grateful.

But I didn't want to hold him back just because he felt that he owed me, and I definitely didn't want him to be stuck because of me.

Seeing me lingering at the doorway, Alex coughed into his hand at his chin, trying to get my attention.

His buddies immediately got the message, snuffing out their cigarettes and opening the windows to let some fresh air in.

"Come on in. Why aren't you wearing your hearing aids today?" Alex said as he walked over, making clumsy signs with his hands.

When the doctor said my hearing loss might be permanent, Alex stayed up all night. Afterward, he even took the time to learn sign language just for me.

But his hands moved so awkwardly—just like the way he handled our relationship.

Alex frowned. "What's wrong with you tonight? Are you feeling okay?"

He reached out to touch my forehead, but I avoided his hand without hesitation.

In my pocket, I still had a bag of his favorite popcorn.

Just an hour ago, I made that popcorn myself, my heart overflowing with sweetness.

I was afraid the popcorn would get cold, so I tucked it into my pocket—but now, my heart was the one that felt cold.

"I'm fine. You guys have fun," I said.

I turned to leave, and Alex just stood there, stunned.

It wasn't until I rounded a corner that I heard one of his buddies exclaim, "Holy shit! Alex, looks like she can hear now."

*****

Loving Alex was something I just got used to.

We'd known each other since we were kids, back when we both lived in military housing.

The first time I saw him, he was wearing a checkered shirt, sitting under a tree with a book in his hands.

His nanny had made some lemonade, and when she saw me, she called me over with a big smile to have some.

I still remember the gray shingles on the roofs, the green trees, the blue sky, and the moment Alex looked up—a spark of light flickered in his eyes.

It felt like even the wind rustling through the leaves paused, and all I could hear was my own breathing.

My brother Charlie grinned and whispered in my ear, "Hey, your ears are turning red."

After that, I praised Alex's good looks every day and followed him everywhere he went.

He slowly started to see me as a friend, always making a point to swing by my house before he went out.

He'd buy me pretty hair ties and dolls, and at night, he'd sit under the tree and tell me stories.

Back in those days when our parents were always busy with work and barely had time for us, we only had each other to rely on.

We'd wander the alleys late into the night together, and sometimes the drivers would take us out to see performances.

We were pretty much glued at the hip, and the grown-ups always joked that we'd end up together in the future.

One time, Alex actually took my hand, looked me in the eyes, and said seriously, "Bertha, I'm going to marry you one day. You have to wait for me."

But not long after that, my dad got transferred for work, and our whole family had to move away from Saverton.

Back then, my name was Bertha Lovett. But because that old-fashioned name made me the target of bullying at my new school, my parents changed it to Bonnie Lovett.

Alex and I didn't see each other again for thirteen years.

When we finally met again, I was so happy I could hardly breathe—but he didn't even recognize me.

And he was with this gorgeous, brilliant girl—Beth Quinn.

I remember one time when Beth was sick but still craved spicy snacks.

Alex wouldn't let her have any, so she got all sulky and ignored him.

"Babe," he said, his tone both helpless and indulgent. "I'll take you shopping later and buy you anything you want. After all it took to find you, let's never get separated again, okay?"

There was even a hint of pleading in his voice at the end.

He never coaxed me like that.

*****

Hearing the sound of footsteps coming up behind me, I broke into a run.

Just then, the elevator doors slid open—I darted inside and slammed the close button.

Alex was too late and had to rush for the stairs instead.

By the time I got downstairs and slid into a taxi, I saw him running up, sweat streaming down his face.

Alex dashed right in front of the car like he didn't care if he got hit, his eyes wild with emotion.

"Bonnie, can you hear me now? Don't leave. Talk to me!" he shouted.

The driver looked terrified, but I rolled down the window and gave Alex a slow, bitter smile.

"Yes, I can hear you now. I'm not going to stand in the way of your happiness anymore, Alex. There's no need for you to humiliate yourself—or me—like this," I said, then turned to the driver. "Sir, please drive."

No one could tell that if I said even one more word, I'd break down in tears.

I bit down hard on my finger, nerves stretched tight, watching in the rearview mirror as Alex jumped onto his eye-catching dirt bike and took off after us.