Chapter 3

Before the train started, David called. When I didn't pick up, he sent another message: [You're not home? Where did you go? Still upset? Don't be difficult. I told you I'd figure something out.]

But David, I was almost out of time. How could you possibly fix that? I broke down in tears.

Emily would have plenty more winters ahead of her, but I might not make it to next spring.

The train slowly rolled out of Bayview City. 'Maybe this way, I can finally leave all that pain behind,' Claire thought.

David didn't bother texting me again. In his mind, I'd give up my life for him. So I'd give in when it only came to Emily.

He was convinced I'd come running back after I cooled off, like when he begged me not to divorce him.

But this time, he was bound to be disappointed.

Once I finally calmed down, I opened WhatsApp and tapped on the contact that had been pinned to the top of my list for over ten years. I blocked and then deleted him.

Next, I opened my photo album and started deleting every picture of us, one by one. From the shadow he cast over me on the college field, to his passionate confession at graduation, all the way to our wedding.

With every photo I deleted, the ache in my chest grew sharper.

I got off the train before it reached the final stop.

Knowing David, he'd definitely try everything to track me down once he realized I was missing.

But I never wanted to see him again. The best ending for us would be to never cross paths again in this lifetime.

*****

Maybe David had pampered me for too long. I couldn't get used to sleeping in a run-down motel.

Eventually, I drifted off, and my dreams were all about the way things used to be.

Honestly, after I got together with David, except for the first two years, life wasn't all that hard for me.

My health was never great, so after working for two years, I ended up staying home.

David was the one with the job, but he still took the bus home for breakfast, lunch, and dinner to eat with me.

Sometimes he barely made it through the door before he had to turn around and head back to work. No matter what the weather was like, he always showed up.

Sometimes I'd cook and bring him meals. I'd hear his coworkers tease him about being whipped.

But every time, he'd grin with pride. "So what if I'm whipped? At least I've got someone to look after me. What about you guys?"

His coworkers would laugh and say nothing.

Back then, I really believed our happiness would last forever, like the fairy tales David used to tell me before bed.

But when did things really start to change? I guess it was the day his real father came knocking at our door. That was the 963rd day since we got together.

David was running himself ragged with the new company. I cooked and brought him dinner, and happened to overhear their conversation.

Turned out, after walking out on his wife and kid, his father married into money. But they never had kids, so he suddenly remembered David, the son he'd abandoned.

He didn't beat around the bush: if David came back, he'd get millions and never have to live like a nobody again.

I thought David would flat-out refuse. But instead, he hesitated and said, "Let me think about it."

I knew deep down that if David went back, there'd be no future for us.

Anxious, I went home. Waiting for me was a gift David had made himself, a green dress. From picking the fabric to sewing it all together, he did it by hand.

I looked at the dark circles under his eyes and the countless needle pricks on his fingers.

He asked, "Will you always be by my side?"

All those moments when love intertwined between us kept spinning in my mind. For a second, I couldn't tell if he was calling my name or Emily's.

Maybe it was Emily. After all, I waited five years for a heart donor and never got one. But he managed to find one for Emily in three months.

As those thoughts ran through my head, I let out a bitter laugh. It turned out that all the tenderness and promises I had treasured like my own life were never mine.

I was his wife and his backup plan for when things got hard. But I was never the one he held closest to his heart.

And Emily? She didn't have to lift a finger. Being around was enough for him to shower her with all his affection.

My phone started buzzing like crazy again, messages from an unknown number popping up one after another. Every word was full of what he thought was guilt and comfort.

David texted: [Claire, where are you? You're not well. Please don't run around. I'm really worried about you.]

David: [I know you're upset, but Emily had surgery. She's weak and there's no one with her. I really can't leave her right now.]

David: [Please, don't do this. Come home, okay? I promise, once Emily's stable, I'll do whatever it takes to find you a heart, even if I have to spend every last dollar.]

David: [Claire, please reply. I'm asking you, please.]

Spent every last dollar? I stared at those words, feeling nothing but bitter irony.

Back then, I gave up my chance for a heart donor for him. He swore he'd do everything to find her a match.

But he secretly switched her file for Emily's, gave Emily the best heart, put her in the best hospital room, and stayed by her side every single day.

Now he was saying he'd find me a heart, no matter the cost?

If he'd ever cared about me half as much as he did for Emily, maybe I would have been the one who survived.