Chapter 3
The birthday cake's frosting was smeared across the camera lens, glaringly white.
Someone in the group chat posted: [Ryan, you're way too obvious with your favoritism.]
Emily replied coyly: [Sophie isn't here, so Ryan's just trying to make me feel better. Don't tease him.]
Ryan didn't deny it.
A few seconds later, Ryan sent: [She left on her own. There's nothing anyone can do about it.]
That sentence felt like a needle, bursting the last bit of hope I had for my eighteenth birthday.
Last year on my birthday, Ryan skipped evening study hall and took me to the river on his bike.
He fastened a silver dolphin bracelet around my wrist and said, "When we graduate, I'll take you to see the real ocean."
The wind was strong that night, and he draped his school uniform jacket over me. It smelled so clean, like summer.
Now, in the video, when Emily raised her hand, the same dolphin bracelet was dangling from her wrist.
I looked down at my own wrist.
The bracelet was still there, but the clasp looked worn from how often I'd worn it.
My phone buzzed.
Ryan sent a message: [Emily doesn't know it's your birthday too, so don't give her a hard time.]
Then another message popped up: [I'll make it up to you with a cake tomorrow, so don't sulk.]
I replied: [Don't bother.]
As soon as I sent the message, Ryan called me.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
Rainwater dripped from the windowsill into the flowerpot, making tiny pits in the soil.
I said, "I mean, I don't want you to make it up to me with a cake."
Ryan lowered his voice. "Sophia, don't guilt-trip me about your birthday. Emily's parents are divorced; she's never really had a proper birthday. You've got your family with you, missing one cake isn't the end of the world."
My mom was standing in the doorway, her eyes rimmed red.
She turned away, not wanting me to see her like that.
Emily's voice came through the phone. "Ryan, stop. Sophie will just hate me more if you keep talking."
Ryan immediately softened. "It's not your fault."
That's just how he always is.
Whenever Emily cried, the whole world stopped for her.
All through high school, whenever Emily forgot her lunch card, Ryan would just hand her my lunch without a second thought.
When Emily twisted her ankle in PE, even though I was running a fever, Ryan left me behind and carried her straight to the nurse's office.
When Emily did poorly on a practice exam, Ryan made me lend her my notebook of corrected mistakes, saying it wouldn't matter if I went without it for a couple of days.
Every single time, I told myself that Emily was just someone to pity, and Ryan was just soft-hearted.
Only today did I understand that even kindness has a favorite.
The next morning, I got a call from someone at the beach.
It was the owner of the B&B.
She sounded unsure. "Miss Winston, you booked two rooms with queen beds, right? Your friend said you only need one now and wants to cancel the other. Just checking with you."
Sunlight streamed through the window onto my desk as I pulled out the booking confirmation.
I'd paid for both rooms with the money I'd saved up from my writing over the past six months.
Back then, Ryan had said, "It's a trip for the three of us. Cover the cost for now, and I'll pay you back later."
He still hasn't sent me the money.
The B&B owner was still waiting for my answer.
I said, "Don't cancel it. Please put one of the rooms under my name, and don't give the key card to anyone else."
As soon as I hung up, Ryan's message popped up.
[What did you say to the owner? Emily wants the ocean-view room. Do not block her.]
I replied: [I paid for the rooms myself.]
[Do you really have to separate everything so clearly?]
His messages kept coming, one after another.
[We were together for two years, and now you are counting money?]
[Emily has always been frail. Do not upset her.]
[If you keep this up, you are not the person I knew.]
My fingers hovered over the keyboard.
I just typed four words: [Send me the money.]
Ryan didn't reply.
Later that afternoon, my homeroom teacher called to tell me about the school's graduation dinner and asked me to come by that evening.
I really didn't want to go.
But then she added, "Daniel's coming too. He said there's something on your college form he wants the teachers to take another look at."
Before hanging up, she paused. "Sophia, don't change your college choices for anyone. With your grades, you won't lose out no matter where you end up."
My eyes suddenly burned with unshed tears.
When I walked into the private room that evening, the noise hit me like a tidal wave.
Ryan and Emily were already there, back earlier than expected.
Emily sat by the window in Ryan's jacket with a bowl of hot oatmeal in front of her.
When she saw me, she jumped up, her eyes reddening in an instant.
"Sophie, you finally showed up! I thought you'd never talk to me again," Emily said.
Ryan stayed put, looking pissed.
He slapped his phone face down on the table. "Sophia, get over here."
The whole room went quiet.
I stood frozen in the doorway.
Ryan frowned. "Do I have to come get you myself?"
Emily tugged at his sleeve. "Ryan, Sophie's still upset. Can't you try to cheer her up?"
Reminded by Emily, Ryan's tone finally softened. "Alright, I was too harsh yesterday. Just sit down and eat, okay? Don't let the teachers see us making a scene."
His patronizing attitude briefly overlapped with the boy who once comforted me, then the image shattered.
Daniel got up from another table and pulled out the chair next to him.
"Sophia, the teacher wants you to sit here so we can talk about your college plans," he said.
Ryan's expression darkened instantly.
He stood, his chair scraping the floor. "She is my girlfriend. Why should she sit with you?"
The door to the private room closed behind me.
Daniel looked up at him. "When you left your girlfriend stranded at the rest stop, didn't you think that was messed up?"