Chapter 1
I have been nursing a secret crush on Matthew Cooper for three years.
The little ways he treats me differently, such as a kinder word and a lingering glance, make me think maybe, just maybe, he feels something too.
So when I finally build up the courage to confess, the words I overhear him saying to his friends shatter everything.
"Honestly, Olivia's pretty," he sneers. "But if I actually ended up with her? I'd feel like I was settling. She's my family's maid's daughter. Can you imagine me taking her out in public? It would be humiliating."
He adds, "Look, I know she's into me, but reality is cruel. I can give her money, sure. But marriage? Never."
Years later, on the night before my wedding, he pins me against the wall, his eyes burning with a frantic kind of grief. "Olivia," he rasps, his voice breaking, "don't do this. Just give me a chance. That's all I'm asking."
*****
The summer after senior year, Matthew Cooper was out celebrating with his classmates. I found out the location, and, for the first time in my life, I ditched my tutoring session.
Standing outside the private room, I took a deep breath, my hand clutching the confession letter I had painstakingly written. My heart was hammering against my ribs. Just as I was about to knock, I heard his voice, laced with that easy, careless amusement of his.
"You mean Olivia Lane? The girl who's always trailing after me like a lost puppy?
"She's so naive that she wears her heart right on her sleeve. Of course I know she likes me.
"Honestly, she's pretty. But to actually marry her? I'd feel like I was settling."
One of his friends sounded surprised, asking, "Dude, that's harsh. You guys basically grew up together."
Matthew sighed, letting out a long-suffering sound.
"Her mother works for my family as a maid. Taking her out would be social suicide. I know she likes me, but that's just the way it is. I can throw money at her, but she's not wife material."
My fingers tightened around the letter, the paper crinkling in my sweaty palm.
He knew everything. He knew I loved him, but he just played the fool.
In his world, I was just the help, someone to be kept in the background, out of sight.
His words washed over me, dousing any hope I had left. I felt chilled to the bone.
It was a scorching day in June, but I was shivering.
Inside, one of his friends remarked, "Gotta say, Matt, you've got a good head on your shoulders."
"Yeah, man," another agreed. "Marriage is serious business. Like should always wed like."
The words cut deep with their realism. Matthew held his tongue.
I heard the clinking of glasses, the laughter resuming as if my entire world hadn't just imploded.
I couldn't listen anymore. I turned and walked away. The letter, the one holding three years of my secret hopes, was torn in half and tossed into the nearest trash can.
I never told a soul what happened that day.
After his graduation party, Matthew was off to study abroad.
His academic record was mediocre. If he had applied to universities here, the Ivy League would have been out of the question. He would have been destined for a middling state school.
His path had been ordained by his family since birth. He would go abroad for a degree, mostly for show, a bit of gold-plating for his reputation. Upon his return, he would slide effortlessly into a position at the family firm.
On the day of his departure, I kept my promise to see him off at the airport. Standing there, watching him walk away, I felt strangely adrift, as if a part of me were leaving with him.
My three-year secret affection was over. It was the closing chapter of a story that never truly began.
I had been so naive. In the adult world, everything, such as love and marriage, was a transaction, a careful weighing of pros and cons.
Before he left, he told me to study hard to get into a good college. Then he asked me to keep an eye on his cousin, Ethan Carter. If I saw any signs of him getting a girlfriend, I would report back immediately.
Ethan's parents were busy expanding their business overseas, so he had been installed in Matthew's home so that his daily needs wouldn't go neglected.
Ethan ended up in my class, seated at the desk directly to my right. I nodded along when told to look out for him, remembering the glowing introduction Ethan had received from our tutor.
But inside, I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Someone as academically gifted as Ethan could probably juggle a dozen love affairs without dropping a single mark.