Chapter 3

Elowen

The silence in the courtroom was deafening. Judge Moreno waited.

So did Junie.

Her small, trembling fingers dug into my palm like tiny claws. "Can you still keep me?"

Ten months earlier, she had arrived on my porch with that exact same red backpack. For the first two weeks, she slept with her sneakers on, ready to run. She would ask for permission just to open the refrigerator. If I left the dining room, she stopped chewing her food until I came back.

One night, I found crushed crackers hidden beneath her pillow.

"I'm saving them," she had blurted out, her whole body shaking. "For when you decide you don't want me anymore."

I had locked myself in the bathroom that night and sobbed into a towel so she wouldn't hear me.

I knew exactly what it meant to want a child so badly that drawing a breath felt like swallowing knives. After my miscarriage, I couldn't walk past a nursery without collapsing.

But that suffocating grief was *mine*. Junie did not exist to fix me. She was not a ghost of the daughter I lost.

She was the brave little girl who hated lemon cake, made up silly songs about her mismatched socks, and whispered "sorry" every time she needed her asthma inhaler.

She was Junie.

And right now, this innocent child believed that because one man couldn't be bothered to stay in his chair, she was going to lose everything again.

I wiped my face, stood tall, and looked Judge Moreno directly in the eyes.

"No more delays, Your Honor. I am ready to raise my daughter alone."

Junie's head snapped up. "Your daughter?"

"If you'll have me," I whispered down to her.

"You already had me."

My voice finally broke. "Then yes. My daughter."

Twenty minutes later, the judge's gavel fell. The sole adoption was final.

The court clerk handed Junie a shiny gold sticker with the word **FOREVER** printed across it. Junie traced the letters with her thumb, but she didn't peel the backing off.

"Can they take it back?" she asked quietly.

"Never."

"Even if I'm bad?"

"Even if you scream at me."

"What if I break something?"

"We'll clean it up together."

"But I still stay?"

I dropped to my knees, ruining my stockings, and pulled her tightly against my chest. "You still stay. Forever."

That was when the dam broke. I didn't cry pretty, quiet tears. I shook so violently that Aunt Mae had to take my purse.

Junie patted my wet cheek with her small hands.

"Are you sad you got me, Elowen?"

"No, my baby," I choked out. "I'm just so angry it was this hard for you to get me."

We did not go back to the house.

Aunt Mae's car was idling outside the courthouse. Two suitcases were already loaded in the trunk, right next to the boxes labeled *THEATER DONATIONS*.

"Straight to the train station?" Mae asked softly.

I paused with my hand on the car door. I looked back at the grand courthouse steps.

For one stupid, agonizing second, I imagined Adrian bursting through those heavy oak doors, realizing his mistake, shouting my name into the wind.

The doors remained perfectly still.

"Straight to the station," I said.

Once we were on the train, Junie kept her red backpack firmly in her lap.

"Are we hiding from Adrian?"

"No, sweetie. We're just done waiting for him."

"Will he be mad?"

"Probably."

"Are you mad?"

"Very."

She considered this for a moment, her little brow furrowed. Then, she leaned her head heavily against my side. "Me too."

The train jolted into motion, putting miles between us and the life I used to want.

On the seat next to me, my phone lit up.

*Adrian: False alarm. Lila just needed help calming down. Tell Junie I'll bring her favorite lemon cake tonight.*

I stared at the screen. He had forgotten Junie hated lemon cake. He had forgotten everything that mattered.

My thumb hovered over the screen, and then I hit BLOCK.

From his message, I could tell he still expected his loyal wife and new daughter to be waiting for him in our warm living room.

By the time he opened the front door, we would already be ghosts.