Chapter 5
From the living room came Vivian's soft murmur, followed by Samuel's deep response.
What were they talking about out there?
Probably planning their future without me.
Soon enough, this place I once called home would have a new lady of the house.
Good.
It was truly good.
I had no idea how long I'd been sitting there. My legs had gone numb, and my heart had turned to ice.
Clutching the doorknob, I levered myself up unsteadily.
Staring into the mirror, I looked at my pale face, puffy red eyes from crying, and disheveled hair.
What a fucking mess.
But I couldn't just walk away yet.
Some scores must be settled once and for all.
Some things must be said.
I walked to the bed and pulled open the bottom drawer of the nightstand.
Inside lay an envelope.
I took it out, my fingers trembling.
No love letter. Nothing valuable.
Just a piece of paper.
The pregnancy test result from just days ago.
I was pregnant.
When I first found out, there was a moment of panic... and hope.
I even hoped that maybe this baby could make Samuel show a little more affection to me and our home.
Looking back now, I realized it was ridiculous.
Samuel didn't even want me anymore. How could he possibly look forward to our child?
Vivian was back.
This baby would only be a thorn in Vivian's eye, and just another burden for Samuel to use as an excuse to cast me aside.
I couldn't.
I couldn't let my baby be born into these circumstances, unwanted, possibly even despised.
I couldn't let my baby end up like me, living as a pathetic joke.
I clutched the flimsy piece of paper in my hand, and it might as well have weighed a ton.
I picked up the comb and slowly worked through my tangled hair.
Looking in the mirror, I twisted my lips into a ghastly smile.
When I looked up again, the last traces of vulnerability in my eyes had been replaced by icy stillness.
I walked to the wardrobe and opened it.
The wardrobe was packed with clothes, half mine, half Samuel's.
Oh nah. Soon it would all be Samuel's.
And Vivian's.
I looked through those clothes I once picked out so carefully, thinking they'd please Samuel. Now, they just seemed like mocking labels.
The label of an imitator.
I grabbed the plainest black dress from the rack and pulled it on.
Then, turning around, I pulled open the bedroom door.
The light outside was harsh.
The two figures in the living room froze momentarily.
Vivian was leaning against Samuel, her face still streaked with tear tracks. When she saw me emerge, a flicker of vigilance darted through her delicate facade.
Samuel stood half-turned away, his profile as hard and unyielding as ever. At the sound of the door opening, he shifted his gaze to me, eyes heavy with scrutiny and impatience.
Samuel was probably wondering why I hadn't left yet.
I ignored their scrutinizing gazes and headed straight to the coffee table.
The divorce papers were still spread out on the table, like a grinning face mocking me.
I picked up the fountain pen that Samuel always used next to me.
The pen felt cold and heavy in my hand.
I uncapped the pen slowly, yet without any hesitation.
The pen hovered above the signature line.
For five years, I signed my name on every document he needed, and on all those thoughtless cards that came with his half-hearted gifts.
Every single time, I felt a tiny, pathetic thrill.
This time, it felt like I was signing a death certificate.
My own death certificate.
Or rather, the death certificate for the Melissa I used to be.
The pen touched down.
The ink bled into the paper.
I signed my name "Melissa Spencer".
I wrote it with striking clarity, each stroke imbued with a resolute force I had never felt before.
Done.
The room was deathly silent, save for the faint scratching of pen on paper.
I set the pen down and slid the signed divorce papers to the center of the coffee table.
The movement was crisp and decisive.
It felt like finally crossing off a task I'd been putting off for ages.
Samuel watched me, his brow twitching imperceptibly as a flicker of surprise crossed his eyes.
He probably expected me to throw a tantrum, cling to him desperately, and do whatever it took to stay, just like I used to.
Vivian held her breath, her eyes locked on the divorce papers, as if terrified I might change my mind at any second.
I didn't look at them.
The moment I signed, the weight that had been crushing my chest finally lifted.
I raised my head and calmly locked eyes with Samuel.
Samuel's eyes were as cold as ever, but there was a flicker of something else in them.
Was he relieved about finally being free of the nuisance?
Or was he just pleased that I was finally being so sensible?
I didn't care anymore.
Honestly, I didn't give a damn anymore.