Chapter 1
"Nina, are you deaf? Where's my water?"
The shout exploded beside my ear, sharp with impatience, followed by the dull thud of a basketball hitting the floor.
I jolted awake, my heart racing, the phantom pain of the car crash from my previous life still lingering in my chest.
In front of me was a noisy freshman classroom, the air thick with chalk dust and the scent of teenage sweat.
Gerald Claf stood near the podium in a branded basketball jersey, drenched in sweat. His brows were furrowed, his gaze full of open disdain as it landed on me.
A group of boys crowded around him, egging him on. Beside them stood a girl in a short skirt, smiling sweetly, Olivia Noram.
"Gerald, maybe Nina isn't feeling well. Don't be so hard on her."
She deftly twisted open a bottle of water and raised it to Gerald's lips, though her eyes slid toward me with a subtle challenge.
"What could she possibly be sick for? She's just trying to get my attention. I've seen this 'playing hard to get' act too many times."
Gerald took the bottle, tipped his head back, and drank deeply. Then he tossed the empty bottle onto my desk with force.
It bounced, sending a few cold droplets onto my face.
Laughter rippled through the classroom.
"Nina, drop the act. Go to the store and buy Gerald a case of energy drink. If you take too long, he'll be pissed."
"Exactly. You're usually stuck to him like glue, why pretend to be distant now?"
*****
Their harsh jeers felt like needles in my ears.
I locked my gaze on the face I used to be crazy about.
In my previous life, right at this moment, I'd rushed out like a fool to buy him water, tripped and scraped my knee, and all I got when I came back was, "So dumb, you make me sick just looking at you."
But my silent deskmate, Jimmy Kalim, quietly slipped a band-aid onto the corner of my desk.
I turned my head and looked toward the corner of the classroom.
There was a boy in a faded school uniform, his hair a little too long, hiding most of his face, hunched over his desk working on problems.
He was painfully thin, his wrists all sharp angles, like a gust of wind could knock him over.
Jimmy.
In my previous life, this kid I used to think was just a gloomy, broke nobody. After I died, he was the one who picked up a knife and went after Gerald, just to get justice for me.
My eyes went red, stinging with the urge to cry.
It felt like my chest was squeezed so tight I could barely breathe.
"Hey, Nina, I'm talking to you! What's with that look?"
Gerald looked uneasy under my stare, then kicked my desk hard in anger.
The desk shook violently, bumping into Jimmy's arm.
The tip of his pen scratched a long, messy line across his test paper, wrecking what had been a neat page.
He didn't look up. He quietly set his pen aside, balled up the ruined paper, and shoved it inside his desk.
The faint sound of crumpling paper hit me like thunder in my chest.
I took a deep breath, tamping down the rush of anger, and shot to my feet.
Gerald assumed I was finally off to fetch his water, and a smug grin spread across his face.
"That's more like it. And don't forget, get it ice cold this time, not that lukewarm junk you tried to hand me last time."
I ignored him and headed straight for the corner.
I stopped in front of Jimmy's desk.
Every eye in the class followed me, and the room went dead silent.
Jimmy seemed to notice someone standing over him and slowly looked up.
His eyes, dark as ink, looked empty and lifeless, guarded and distant.
He was afraid.
Afraid I'd go back to my old ways, teaming up with those guys to humiliate him, just to please Gerald.
After all, in my previous life, I'd said all sorts of nasty things to him, just to fit in with Gerald's crowd.
Mute. Pauper. Freak.
Every word was a blade I drove into him.
My hand trembled as I reached out, my fingertips just barely touching the tattered book on his desk.
"Jimmy..."
My voice came out, breaking with a sob I didn't even know was there.
Jimmy's body went stiff, and he instinctively shrank back, like I was some wild beast he needed to run from.
"Nina, are you out of your mind?"
Gerald's voice rang out behind me, full of shock and fury.
"I'm talking to you. Why are you going over to that loser?"
Olivia chimed in, her voice all sweet and fake. "Nina, are you trying to piss Gerald off? Don't mess with Jimmy. He's so timid, you'll scare him half to death."
I didn't turn around. I just kept my eyes locked on Jimmy.
"I can't figure out this question. Can you teach me?"
My voice was soft, with a touch of desperation.
Jimmy froze.
His eyes narrowed, like he was trying to decide if I was pulling another stunt on him.
"Nina!"
Gerald was totally pissed now. He stormed over and grabbed my wrist, his grip was so tight that I thought my bones might snap.
"Are you crazy? Ignoring me to talk to this dumpster rat?"
He looked down at Jimmy with pure contempt and disgust.
"Hey, mute, Nina's talking to you. Do you even deserve to listen to her?"
Jimmy kept his head down, his fingers clutching the edge of his shirt so hard his knuckles turned white.
He'd gotten numb to it by now.
He was used to being humiliated, used to being treated like dirt.
"Let go."
For the first time, my gaze at Gerald was icy, completely devoid of warmth.
Gerald froze, as if I'd just said something out of this world.
"Hey, what did you say?"
"Let go. You're hurting me."
I jerked my hand free and rubbed my sore wrist, the skin already red.
"Gerald, I have a name. It's Nina, not 'hey.' And he has a name too. Jimmy, not 'mute.'"
The classroom fell silent, like someone had hit pause on the whole world.
Everyone looked at me like they'd just seen a ghost.
Nina who always did whatever Gerald wanted, never dared to fight back or talk back, was now talking back to him?
Gerald's face turned livid, veins bulging on his forehead.
"Nina, you've got guts. You really do."
He let out a cold, mocking laugh and pointed his finger right in my face.
"So you want to play hard to get? Trying to make me jealous? Fine, I'll give you exactly what you want."
He turned on his heel and kicked Jimmy's desk, sending it crashing to the floor.
Books scattered everywhere, and that cheap pen was crushed under his foot, shattered to pieces.
Ink soaked into Jimmy's faded pants, the dark stain glaring like a fresh wound.
"Let's see who even dares to help you now! Nina, if you don't kneel and beg me today, I'm not letting this go!"