Chapter 1

Three months after my husband went missing in a skiing accident, I saw him in a bar.

He was laughing freely with his arm around his "bro" and said, "Thanks for your idea. Otherwise, I almost forgot what freedom feels like."

The guys around him kept raising their glasses and asked him when he would show up again.

He lowered his eyes and thought for a moment, saying, "In a week, maybe. I'll wait until she really loses her mind trying to find me before I show up."

I stood in the shadows, watching him enjoy his freedom. Then I called my friend who worked at the household registration office.

"I've decided to deregister Johnny Bowen," I said.

"You're not going to look for him anymore?" My friend hesitated on the other end of the line.

I looked up at Johnny, who was whispering to Evelyn Wallace, my eyes stinging and my voice choked, "I can't find him."

If he wanted to hide, what was the use even if I found him?

After hanging up the phone, I turned and went back to the private room.

Amelie James, my best friend, saw my somber expression and handed me a glass of wine.

"Janessa, Johnny has been missing for three months now, and the chances of survival are almost zero. You should try to move on," Amelie said.

I looked down at the colorful liquor in my glass and drank it all in one go.

The spicy taste instantly brought tears to my eyes. I blinked repeatedly, fighting the pain, and quietly asked my friend, "Would anyone pretend to go missing just to deceive their wife?"

She looked at me with disappointment. "What nonsense are you talking about? Anyone who would do that is a beast. It would be better if they were really gone!"

I wiped away my tears and picked up my bag from the sofa.

"You're right. I should let go of Johnny," I said.

After saying that, I turned and left, and went back home.

The house was as quiet as usual. For the past three months, I had feared this silence. Whenever I came home, I would turn on all the lights, make a cup of coffee that Johnny often drank, and place it on the coffee table, pretending he was still at home.

I didn't understand. If he didn't want to live with me anymore, he could just get a divorce. Why pretend to have disappeared in a skiing accident?

Sitting on the sofa, I picked up the chibi figurine of the two of us from the coffee table.

When Johnny leaned beside me, he pointed at the two little figures, smiling, "When I'm not around, let them keep you company instead."

His words from back then overlapped with his irritable voice at the bar tonight.

Johnny said, "Janessa used to be gentle and pleasant, but after marriage, she became clingy. I faked my death this time to teach her a lesson, so she won't be so clingy in the future."

Evelyn handed him a drink and said, "Aren't I better? We've been freinds for years, and I've never been clingy!"

"Right, right, you're my best friend."

They spoke as best friends, but their legs intertwined under the table.

Thinking about that scene made my stomach turn.

I threw the figurine into the trash and picked up my phone to send a group message.

[Johnny passed away unexpectedly three months ago, and a farewell ceremony will be held in a week.]

Soon after, Johnny's close friends began sending a series of questions.

[How can you hold a funeral before you find him?]

[Janessa, have you lost your mind? Johnny isn't dead!]

[What if Johnny comes back and sees his own funeral? That would infuriate him! Janessa, think carefully—would you really risk angering Johnny?]

I didn't respond to the first few messages, only replying to the last one.

[He's gone. What's left to be angry about?]

After replying, I put down my phone and started sorting through the belongings Johnny left at home.

Over the past three months, I'd spent most of my time searching for him in the city where he went skiing, rarely coming home.

Except for the bed, the bedroom hadn't changed much.

I stood frozen as I opened the wardrobe.

Most of the clothes belonging to Johnny were gone, with only a few left that were not suitable for this season.

Tears fell instantly as I let out a self-mocking laugh.

For the past three months, I lived mostly in the snowy mountains searching for him, only coming home to rest when I could no longer bear it.

Yet, during the days when I was on the brink of collapse, Johnny came back several times to take his belongings.

I turned on the home security cameras and played back the recordings from the past month at high speed.

At the beginning of the month, Johnny walked in with his arm around Evelyn's shoulders, and left two hours later carrying a pile of clothes.

In the middle of the month, Johnny carried Evelyn in his arms into the house, and they didn't leave until dawn the next day.

Two nights ago, they came home under the cover of darkness and left yesterday morning.

These were all days when I was searching for Johnny in the neighboring city.