From Enemies To His Obsession

Synopsis

My nemesis was coming to visit over break. I panicked and posted on the campus forum for help. I wrote: [What's the worst food you can find near campus?] The first reply said: [Whatever's growing in the toilet at the far end of Dorm Five.] The second reply said: [Seriously? Can't you find a classier way to get revenge?] I scrolled through every single comment until number thirteen stopped me cold. It read: [Feed him surströmming. If he actually eats it, he's probably into you.] I hadn't even finished reading the rest of that reply when a video call from my nemesis lit up my screen. He said, [I'm here. Open the door.] A guy in a flashy outfit stood at my doorstep, holding a bouquet of flowers. He cleared his throat with two stiff little coughs. He said, [Your mom told me sunflowers are your favorite.] Holy crap. Was this really the same cold, top-of-his-class rival I knew?