Chapter 5
I got to know David Shaw because of work.
He was the newly appointed executive at the group, and he oversaw our department.
At the first meeting, he sat at the end of the long table.
He didn't say much, but every word he spoke hit the mark.
He was in his early forties, dressed in a dark gray shirt with the cuffs rolled up to his forearms.
He wore a subtle mechanical watch on his wrist. He wasn't conventionally handsome, but there was something about him.
I could tell he'd been shaped by years of experience, the kind of steady confidence that only came after life had knocked him around a bit.
When he spoke, he'd look at me, not with the kind of intense focus Alex had, but with something deeper, like he was looking at me and at something beyond me, as if he could see things I couldn't.
After the meeting, he stopped me. "Ms. Reed, stay for a moment."
I stood in front of his desk, waiting for him to speak.
"I went through your proposal for the women's growth program," he said, paused for a second, then added, "Very well done."
"Thank you, Mr. Shaw," I replied.
"No need to thank me. I mean it," he said, looking up at me. "I have a suggestion. Want to hear it?"
"Please, go ahead," I replied.
"The comedian you invited for the first episode has a strong point of view, but I think your interview angle could go even deeper," he said.
I waited for him to continue.
He stood up and walked over to the window, his back to me.
"You asked her why she's not married and how she handles the pressure to get married, but did you ever ask if she was scared?" he said.
I was taken aback for a moment.
"Choosing not to get married might look brave on the surface, but deep down, there was always some fear," he continued.
He turned to look at me. "Fear of growing old alone, fear of being judged by others. If you let her talk about that, the show will really resonate with people."
I stood there, feeling like his words hit me out of nowhere.
It wasn't that his advice was anything groundbreaking.
It was the way he looked at things.
He wasn't pointing out flaws. He was actually helping me get to the heart of things.
"Thank you, Mr. Shaw. I'll go back and tweak it," I said.
He nodded, then settled back into his chair, his face shifting to that professional, no-nonsense look. "Go ahead."
As I got to the door, I paused and turned around.
"Mr. Shaw, can I ask you something?" I said.
"Go ahead," he replied.
"How did you know there was more to dig out?" I asked.
He glanced at me, a faint smile in his eyes. "Because I've been scared too."
The door clicked shut behind me, and I found myself standing alone in the hallway, thinking this new guy was interesting.
The way grown-ups test the waters with each other wasn't by asking, "Are you single?"
It was by admitting, "I've been scared too."
The second time I saw David was in the break room.
I was making coffee when he walked in.
He had his own mug with him.
"Ms. Reed, how are the amendments to the show going?" David asked.
"Almost ready. We'll start recording next week," I replied.
"Thanks for all your hard work," David said as he filled his mug. Then, out of nowhere, he asked, "How old is your son?"
I was caught off guard. How did he know I had a son?
He noticed my confusion and explained, "I saw it in your personnel file."
"Oh, he's eight," I answered.
"Eight? That's the age when they're real troublemakers," David said with a little grin. "My daughter's eight too."
Then it hit me. I'd heard somewhere that he was divorced and raising his daughter by himself.
"You must know what that's like," I said.
"Know what?" David asked.
"How tough it is raising a kid on your own," I replied.
He held his mug, silent for a moment.
Then he said, "I do. But it's also a kind of happiness."
"Happiness?" I repeated, a bit taken aback.
"Yeah," David said, looking out the window. "Back when I was busy with work, I barely paid attention to my family and thought kids were trouble.
"But after the divorce, raising my daughter on my own, I realized kids are the best gift life could ever give."
I held my coffee, not really knowing what to say.
He had a unique way of speaking.
He didn't complain or act like a victim. He said it, plain and simple, what he'd managed to find out of a mess that didn't work out.
"Your daughter's really lucky," I said.
He turned to look at me. "Why do you say that?"
"Because she has a dad who really gets her," I replied.
He smiled, a faint curve of his lips, but there was a spark in his eyes. "I hope she thinks so too."
That afternoon, I was sitting at my desk when his words suddenly popped into my head. "Because I've been scared too."
I grabbed my phone and texted Alex: [Alex.]
He replied almost instantly: [Is Max okay?]
I couldn't help but laugh. This guy's mind was always on kids.
[Nothing. I wanted to see if you were busy today.] I texted Alex.
[I'm good. Just finished seeing a patient. What about you?] he replied.
[Just got out of a meeting,] I answered.
Then we shot the breeze for a bit.
He mentioned the meal in the cafeteria was pretty good today.
I told him there was a new coffee shop downstairs.
He said he didn't drink coffee, and I joked that he was really missing out.
It was nothing special, just everyday stuff. And honestly, it felt so relaxed.
After hanging up, David's gaze lingered in my mind.
Then I thought about how Alex always replies to my messages instantly.
Two men, two different vibes.
One was like the deep sea, quiet, deep, the kind you have to dive into slowly.
The other was like sunlight, straightforward, passionate, warming you up from the inside out.
I still didn't know which one was really right for me.
But what I did know was that, at thirty-six, I finally got to make my own choices.
And honestly, nothing beat that.