Chapter 2

Everyone, including my classmates, my friends, and even my parents, always liked Nicole more than me.

I once thought that if I grew my hair out like hers, wore the same white dress, and copied what she ate, maybe I could be like her.

I believed that if I imitated her, people would like me the same way they liked her.

But in the end, all I got was people calling me a wannabe, saying I was trying too hard. I ended up looking like a clown.

After years of living in Nicole's shadow, I thought things would always be this way.

But when we ended up at the same university, I fell for a guy named Nelson.

We were in different majors, but when I heard he liked Nicole, something inside me snapped. I started to change, and anger took over.

I couldn't understand why everyone liked Nicole. I wondered why they couldn't see how fake she was behind that flawless smile. It was sickening.

On my way home from school, I got a message from Nicole: [Raya, remember not to tell Mom and Dad that Nelson and I are going on a date tonight, okay?]

It felt like someone jabbed a needle straight into my heart. The pain was unbearable, and my eyes burned with tears.

So Nelson finally got his wish. He was with the girl he really liked.

When I walked through the door, the table was covered with all of Nicole's favorite dishes.

For a moment, I couldn't help but think how pathetic it was, spending all these years trying to be her, pretending to like the same things she did. What a joke.

Other people might mix us up, but our omm and dad could always tell us apart in a heartbeat.

The smile on Mom's face disappeared the second she saw me. "Raya, why are you home alone? Where's Nicole?

"I made her favorite beef steak tonight. That little foodie should be here."

Her tone got all gentle when she mentioned Nicole, but when she looked at me, it was back to interrogating. "Why are you back by yourself? Didn't you wait for Nicole?"

She was still holding the spatula, and if I dared say I hadn't waited for Nicole, she'd smack me with it without hesitation.

Nicole kept reminding me over and over not to tell Mom and Dad about her date with Nelson tonight. But was tempted to say it out of spite.

But I couldn't. If I told them, Nelson would probably hate me more.

Being a liar was already bad enough, but if I became the reason Mom and Dad broke them up, Nelson would probably hate me forever.

So I lied. "She's got a report due tomorrow, so she's at the library with her classmates. She won't be home for dinner."

After I finished lying, Mom's face finally relaxed, and I let out a sigh of relief.

But then she shot me a sarcastic look and said, "Lucky you. Guess you get to enjoy all the good food tonight."

Lucky me, huh?

Maybe my mom never really understood me, or maybe she knew me too well. Maybe she got used to overlooking me, not caring, or didn't bother.

I'd lost count of how many times I'd wondered if I was their real daughter.

But every time I looked in the mirror and saw a face identical to Nicole's, I'd feel more lost, and the tears would come all over again.

We looked the same, so why was the love never the same?

Nelson texted me: [Raya, come pick up your stuff when you get a chance. Nicole will be pissed if she sees it.]

When I saw his message, I felt weirdly calm. I guessed I was starting to stop caring.

He finally knew my real name. I wasn't "Nicole" in his eyes anymore. I didn't have to fake being someone else.

Funny, I should've been happy about this, but it was not what I wanted at all. I guessed this was the mess I made for myself.

It took me two whole years to move in with Nelson, but Nicole moved in with him after three days together. He must be head over heels for her.

Maybe this was what happened to knockoffs like me. I was no match for Nicole.

Nicole texted me, too: [Raya, please come and grab your stuff yourself. I left it at the door, so you don't need to come in and interrupt Nelson and me.] She sent a photo.

I knew she sent it to piss me off, but I still couldn't stop myself. I tapped the picture anyway.

In the photo, all my clothes were bundled up and tossed on the floor by the door, with a bunch of paper stars scattered around them.

Tears fell onto my phone screen, one after another. I couldn't stand to look anymore.

I quickly got myself together and headed to the apartment Nelson and I once shared.

Climbing the last step, my legs felt heavy as lead. As I expected, there they were, paper stars scattered by the door, and my clothes, which I hadn't taken away, left there like garbage.

I picked up the empty bottle that had been thrown to the floor, then carefully picked up each paper star one by one.

As I reached for the last one, a foot in nude high heels came down and mercilessly crushed it under her heel.