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During a celebrity gameshow, I lost. As punishment, the host told me to send a "help me" message to my ex, Rafe Webster. However, everyone knew Rafe was the hottest jungler in the esports scene, and also distant, serious, and totally untouchable. Moreover, our breakup wasn't pretty at all. The chat went wild. Everyone was eager for drama. Then, to everyone's shock, he replied instantly: [Help with what? Boosting your rank? Humph. We already broke up. Don't think too highly of yourself.] My connection lagged for one second and before I could reply, he continued messaging, clearly on a roll. Rafe: [Hey, you there? What, not playing the game anymore? Don't tell me you're trying to get back together.] Rafe: [Take a look in the mirror. Who'd want you anyway?] The chat exploded with haters laughing at me, spamming insults. Then, out of nowhere, more messages popped up from him. Rafe: [C'mon, say something.] Rafe: [Fine, I was wrong, okay? Just talk to me.] The comments section lost it, remarking: [What? The ice-cold jungle king talks like this in private?]