Chapter 3
I wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear. Or maybe just jump out the window with Charlie and end it all right then and there.
Alex slowly turned to face me, his gaze as complicated as a problem in advanced calculus.
I offered a forced, dry explanation. "He... he's delirious with fever. He's got you mixed up with someone else."
It was an excuse I didn't even believe myself. Charlie kept reaching out to Alex, crying, "Dad... hug..."
My head was about to explode. Why was this little stinker—who was usually as sharp as a tack—confusing daddies just because of a fever? Or was this the natural bond of blood?
Alex didn't say a word. He just looked at Charlie, something unreadable flickering in his eyes.
He hesitated, then actually bent down and gently took Charlie's small hand. "Don't be scared. I'm here for you." His voice was softer than I had ever heard it.
Watching that, my emotions twisted into a knot. I hurried over and pulled Charlie's hand out of his. "I'll go pay the fees."
I practically fled the exam room.
Clutching the payment slip and seeing that hefty total, I finally managed to get my head back on straight. The medical fees weren't cheap. But that was fine. I had money now.
I strutted up to the payment window. Just as I was about to scan the code, Alex reached out and slid a bank card forward. I hadn't even noticed when he followed me out.
"I'll pay." His eyes stayed on the counter, his voice low.
"No way, I've got this," I said, brushing his hand aside. I would rather be broke than spend a single cent of Alex's.
"I should be the one paying for his medical bills," he said, his tone leaving no room for argument.
The girl at the counter looked at him, then at me, her eyes practically sparkling with gossip. The two of us stood there locked in a standoff.
"So who's paying?" she finally asked, clearly annoyed.
"He is." I suddenly changed my mind.
Alex froze.
I sneered. Why shouldn't he pay? He owed us. For five years, I had played both mother and father on my own, while he had been nowhere to be found. Making him cover a bit of medical expenses now was only fair and square. Ex-husband's money—might as well use it.
Alex paid quickly. After that, we fell back into an awkward silence.
On the way to the infusion room, I carried Charlie in front, while Alex followed a few steps behind. I could feel his gaze the whole time, fixed on me and on Charlie.
The infusion room wasn't crowded. The moment the nurse put the needle in, Charlie burst into tears. He bawled like the world was ending.
My chest tightened as I held him and tried to soothe him. "Don't cry, Charlie. Be brave—you're a big boy."
"Mom, it hurts..." He looked at me with watery eyes.
Alex stood nearby, frowning. Once the IV was in place, he stepped forward and took something from his pocket. It was a small, glowing spinning top. He switched it on and held it in front of Charlie. "Look. What's this?"
Charlie's attention snapped to it instantly. Tears still clung to his lashes as he stared at the blinking light. "A spaceship..."
"That's right. A spaceship." Alex's voice was calm and steady. "If you sit still and get your IV, the spaceship will take you to fight monsters."
I watched him, feeling a little dazed. Since when did he know how to comfort a child?
I remembered that once, years ago, we'd had a cat. It had scratched up an important medical book of his. His face had gone dark as thunder, and he'd shut the cat out on the balcony, ignoring it for a whole day. He had never been a patient man.
The infusion dragged on. Charlie soon fell asleep in my arms. My arms were aching, nearly numb.
"Let me," Alex said suddenly.
I looked up at him. "No."
"You still have to take care of him tomorrow. You really should get some rest." His gaze was steady and serious.
I hesitated. My arms really were about to give out.
Without waiting for an answer, he carefully lifted Charlie from my arms. His movements were gentle, as if afraid of waking him.
Charlie shifted into a more comfortable position against his shoulder and slept on, completely out.
I watched them—father and son. Charlie was basically a mini Alex, the resemblance uncanny. Especially the nose—it was exactly the same. How had I never noticed before?
The infusion room was quiet, filled only with the steady drip of the IV. Alex and I sat side by side, with a sleeping Charlie between us. The air felt even more awkward than before.
"So... what's his name?" Alex finally spoke up, breaking the awkward silence.
"Charlie Foster." I deliberately stressed the last name.
His shoulders slumped a little, and he said nothing. After a long while, he asked again, "How old is he?"
"Five," I said.
"And his birthday?"
"October 27th," I snapped, not even trying to hide my irritation. What was this, a census?
He went quiet again. He just held Charlie a little tighter.
By the time the IV finished, dawn was almost breaking. Charlie's fever had gone down some, but he still looked listless.
Alex carried Charlie and walked us to the hospital entrance. "I'll take you home," he said.
"No, thanks. We'll just catch a cab." I shut him down.
"It's late. It's not safe," Alex said.
"Don't bother, Dr. Grant." My tone was sharp.
He looked at me, lips parting as if he wanted to say something, but in the end, he didn't. He took out his cardholder, pulled out a card, and handed it to me. "This is my number. If anything comes up with Charlie, just call me."
I didn't take it.
He slipped the card straight into the pocket of my coat. "I'll watch you get in."
I didn't want to tangle with him any longer. I flagged down a taxi, climbed in with Charlie, and left. Even after we'd gone a long way, I could still see him standing at the hospital entrance like a lamppost in the rearview mirror.
*****
When we got home, I settled Charlie in and collapsed onto the couch, completely spent.
The business card in my coat pocket jabbed uncomfortably at me. I took it out and glanced at it. [Central City Hospital. Pediatrics. Attending Physician. Alex Grant.] Below that was a phone number.
I stared at his name, my teeth grinding with resentment. In five years, he had become an attending physician, and I had become a landlady. Our lives had long since veered onto completely different tracks.
I crumpled up the card and tossed it into the trash.