Chapter 1
My husband's first love just came back from abroad.
To celebrate her return, he booked out all of Crestridge and lit up the sky with fireworks for a whole hour.
Meanwhile, I was stuck outside the ICU, watching my father-in-law's vitals slip away bit by bit.
Suddenly, the hospital went dark. The machines started screeching with alarms.
Down the hallway, a doctor yelled at the top of his lungs, "Who the hell set off fireworks and fried the hospital's main line? Damn it. This patient could've made it!"
I stared numbly at the fireworks video my husband had just sent me. The caption read, [Babe, happy New Year. Forever and always.]
I called him and told him calmly, "Your dad's dead, and so is your so-called 'forever and always'."
*****
The hallway outside the ICU was so white that it felt like I was stranded in an endless snowfield.
The pungent smell of disinfectant hung in the air, as if it were trying to wash away every trace of memory and feeling.
I'd been sitting in this snowfield for thirty-six hours straight.
Every time the digital clock on the wall ticked, it felt like a tiny hammer pounding on my nerves.
It was 10:29 PM. Inside the room, the green line on the monitor kept wavering, stubborn and faint.
It showed my father-in-law William's heartbeat. He was the only one who cared about me in this cold, wealthy family.
My phone screen lit up. My husband, Ethan, sent me a video.
On the screen, massive fireworks exploded over the river, one after another. They were gold, purple, silver, like a million burning jewels, turning the night sky as bright as day.
The background music was his first love, Whitney's favorite piano piece.
At the end of the clip, Ethan's handsome profile was lit up by the fireworks, his face looking more affectionate than ever.
The caption was like a slap in the face. It read, [Babe, happy New Year. Forever and always.]
His babe obviously wasn't me.
I could imagine that Whitney curled up in Ethan's arms at Crestridge with her pretty face tilted up to him, saying, "Ethan, you're so romantic."
I can also imagine that Ethan, my husband in name, would kiss her forehead and swear he'd love her forever.
Just then, the overhead light above me snapped off with a loud pop.
The hallway and even the entire hospital were swallowed by a dead, suffocating darkness.
Right after, every machine in the ICU let out a piercing, endless wail in perfect unison.
The sound was so sharp that it stabbed straight through my eardrums and into my heart, like some vengeful ghost came to claim a soul.
I sprang to my feet, feeling every drop of blood in my body frozen.
A few seconds later, the backup power kicked in, and the emergency lights came on. It was chaos.
Doctors and nurses charged madly into the ICU. The pounding of footsteps, the crash of equipment, and frantic shouts all swirled together in total mayhem.
"Hurry, start chest compressions!"
"Get the adrenaline!"
"Charge the defibrillator!"
I was kept outside the door, peering through the small glass pane as William's body convulsed violently under the defibrillator's shocks.
The monitor that had moments ago displayed the faint rhythm of his heartbeat now showed nothing but a lifeless flat line.
As that line went still, my entire world shattered along with it.
*****
I had no idea how long I'd been sitting there when a young doctor came rushing out of the ICU, sweat streaming down his face, his expression a mix of despair and fury.
He slammed his fist against the wall, his eyes red with anger, and he shouted into the empty hallway.
He said, "Who the hell set off those damn fireworks outside and blew out the hospital's power line?
"Damn it. This patient could've been saved!"
His voice echoed through the empty hallway, each word hitting me right where it hurt most.
At the mention of fireworks, I glanced down at my phone. The romantic video kept playing over and over.
Under that golden shower of sparks, Ethan was out there, swearing to be with another woman forever.
However, all that shower of sparks snuffed out William's life.
I took a deep breath, the stinging smell of disinfectant burning the back of my throat.
I didn't cry. Not a single tear fell.
The crushing grief and sheer absurdity filled me up like wet cement, turning me into a cold, lifeless statue.
Then I called Ethan.
It rang for ages before he finally picked up. The background was filled with the booming explosions of fireworks and the roar of the crowd.
His voice was slurred from drinking, and he sounded impatient. "What do you want? Don't you know I'm busy?"
I listened to the wild cheers and laughter on the other end of the line, while on mine, there was nothing but dead silence. The irony was brutal.
I gripped my phone so tightly that my knuckles went white, but my voice was flat without a hint of emotion.
"Ethan, your dad's dead," I said flatly.
Everything went quiet on his end.
I could hear him breathe harder suddenly.
In the stillness, I added plainly, cold and sharp, "Forever and always? It's over."