Chapter 1
For three years in the mental hospital, I kept a diary every single day.
Once again, I wrote: [If you could go back to Christmas Eve three years ago, Bella Carter, don't say yes to Richard Blake's proposal.]
As I finished the last word and was about to close the diary, familiar handwriting began to slowly emerge on the page, but not written by me.
It read: [I'm Bella Carter. Who are you? I've already married Richard, and we're really happy.]
My ears rang sharply, and my head throbbed as if it might split open.
Happy? How could that even be possible?
I hurriedly wrote down a reply: [On New Year's Eve, you'll see a notification on Richard's phone about a childcare allowance. He's been cheating on you, and he has a secret child.]
A long time passed before the ink appeared again.
When it did, it simply said: [Today is New Year's Eve.]
*****
The moment my pen hit the page, the door to my hospital room swung open from the outside.
He stood tall beside me, towering over me, his handsome face completely unreadable.
I closed my diary, got to my feet slowly, and started unbuttoning my hospital gown like a robot.
A cold breeze swept through, making me shiver involuntarily.
"Bella," Richard said coldly. "You're getting more and more disgusting."
He yanked me by the hand and slammed me onto the bed. A stifled groan escaped me from the pain.
"Your mother killed my son..." Richard said. He couldn't wait to loom over me, pinning me down. "For the rest of your life, you'll rot in this mental hospital and pay for her sins."
Just thinking about that innocent child who died, it felt like needles were stabbing my heart.
Mom...
I was drowning in memories and grief, but Richard didn't give me a chance to breathe. My body was helpless beneath his relentless assault.
Richard had kept me trapped in this mental hospital for three whole years.
I tried ending it all more times than I could count, but every single time, someone would pull me back.
"Richard," I called his name. "I really regret..."
Before I could finish, I passed out from exhaustion.
I couldn't tell if it was just my imagination, but right before I passed out, I saw a flash of panic in Richard's eyes.
When I came to, Richard was already gone. The lingering scent in the air jolted me awake.
I stumbled out of bed, nearly falling as I lunged for the desk. I opened my diary, hands trembling as I wrote.
I wrote down: [Leave Richard. Don't mess around. If you don't, he'll lock you up in a mental hospital.]
As I finished the last word, it felt like all my strength had been sucked out of me. My hand went slack, and the pen slipped to the floor.
Big, fat tears rolled down my cheeks and splashed onto the diary, blurring the words.
How was I supposed to tell Bella from the parallel world, who loved Richard with all her heart, that he already cheated on her before he even proposed, and he already had a kid?
Back then, when I I saw that childcare allowance, I couldn't stop shaking.
Richard pulled me into his arms, apologizing over and over.
He said, "Bella, I'm so sorry. I was drunk, that's why...
"I promise, it was only that one time. Bella, I swear, you're the only one I love, no one else."
I couldn't even remember what else Richard said after that. My mind was a complete mess.
I forced Richard to unlock his phone, and I saw his marriage certificate and wedding photos with another woman.
Rage and disbelief surged through me. I gripped the phone so hard my knuckles turned white, screaming at him, my voice raw with pain.
I asked, "Do you have a marriage certificate with her? Then what about ours? Is it just a fake?"
Richard was silent for a moment before finally saying, "Bella, I love you, but you never got pregnant, and you kept pressuring me to get married. I had no choice but to get a fake marriage certificate just to put your mind at ease."
"Pressuring you to marry me?" I clutched my chest, my voice shaking. "We've been together for years. My dad's dying wish was to see me get married. You were the one who promised him you'd marry me, and you were the one who proposed."
Richard snatched his phone from my hand, trying hard not to lose his temper.
He said, "Your dad said he'd die without peace if he didn't see you married. Isn't that basically forcing me?
"My family legacy matters. I need an heir. Without the heir, my parents would be disappointed.
"You lost your uterus, so there's no way you can get pregnant again. I promise, once the kid's a bit older, I'll divorce her and bring him back for you to raise. No pain, all the perks; people would die for a deal like that."
I stared at Richard in disbelief, as if I didn't even know him anymore.
I asked, "Richard? How could you even say that? You..."
Before I could finish, his phone suddenly rang. Richard glanced at the caller ID and answered it right in front of me.
On the other end of the phone, a woman said, "Richard, why aren't you home yet? Alex won't stop crying for his dad."
His cold expression melted, and his voice softened.
He said, "I'll be right back."
After hanging up, Richard gently ran his fingers through my hair, his voice indulgent.
He said, "Come on, babe, stop this. Just act like the kid never happened, and we'll go back to how things were, okay?"
"No!" I shouted.
I was like a madwoman, throwing everything I could grab onto the floor.
The wedding photo hanging on the wall, the couple's mugs I picked out myself, and the TV remote were all smashed.
Richard stood there with his arms crossed, watching me with a cold stare.
I was in so much pain.
I couldn't believe the man I loved lied from the start. I just couldn't accept it, tears streaming down my face as I asked, "Richard, you know why I can't have children! If I hadn't pushed you from that car, would I be like this?"
A flash of anger crossed Richard's eyes.
He said, "Bella, this is getting old. I never begged you to save me. Do you have to keep bringing up that stuff every single time?
"I can't stand it when you try to guilt-trip me. You..."
Before Richard could finish yelling, his phone rang again.
"Richard," there was a woman crying on the other end, and a kid, too. "Alex, something's wrong. He won't stop crying. Can you come home, please?"
Richard's face went pale. He snatched up his car keys and bolted for the door, but I grabbed his hand and held on tight, refusing to let go.
I pleaded, "You can't leave. Richard, you can't leave.
"You're my husband. This is your home.
"You liar!"
The kid's crying on the phone kept getting louder. The woman kept apologizing to Richard while trying to calm the kid down.
She said, "Richard, I'm sorry. Am I bothering you?
"It's all my fault. I can take care of Alex myself. You go ahead and stay with her."
Hearing that woman's voice, I couldn't hold back anymore. I shouted at the phone, "Cut the act! You're the homewrecker who seduced my husband. Why don't you just die? Why don't you and that bastard kid both drop dead?"
Before I could even react, a powerful shove slammed me to the floor.
Pain shot through my stomach, and I looked up in disbelief at Richard.
"Bella," Richard said, his face icy cold. "What right do you have to call my son a bastard?
"In the end, you're the mistress here. The name on my marriage certificate isn't yours."
A cold numbness spread through me. My lips trembled, but I couldn't make a sound. My hands went limp, and all I could do was watch helplessly as Richard stormed out.
That feeling, like my whole world was falling apart, even now, just remembering it made me feel like I couldn't breathe.
It wasn't until words slowly appeared in my diary that I was pulled out of my daze. When I finally saw what was written, my eyes went wide with rage.
It read: [Who are you, really? I saw the childcare allowance notification, but I don't believe Richard would ever betray me. I won't believe it until I see it myself!]