Chapter 2

The color drained from her face.

"No. Not that." She swallowed hard. "Our marriage has some issues, yes, but it's not over. Once this blows over, we can start fresh."

Looking at her, a bone-deep exhaustion washed over me.

"Start fresh with what? Waiting for Daniel's next breakdown? Waiting for Lily to cry and say she doesn't want a sibling and she doesn't want you to leave her? Waiting for the next time you tell me they need you more?"

I shook my head. "Claire, it's not that I don't believe you love me. I just don't believe there’s enough of it left for me."

"Your love is too busy. It has to be divided among too many people, too many crises. By the time it gets to me, there's barely anything left, and I'm just expected to understand, to step back, to not make a fuss."

"I can't do it anymore."

She opened her mouth, but no words came out.

Inside, the doctor took me into a consultation room alone. She repeatedly assured me that I could walk away at any time without any consequences.

I didn't mention the bodyguards in the car. I just told her I was agreeing to this single blood draw so they would get out of my life.

Finally, I consented to the preliminary compatibility test.

The doctor made it explicitly clear that any further evaluation or living donation had to be my sole, voluntary decision, and I could revoke consent at any moment.

I sat in the chair, watching my blood fill the vial. It felt like whatever was left of my expectations for Claire was draining away with it.

When I walked out, she was waiting at the end of the hall.

"Did it hurt?" she asked.

I walked right past her. "Of course it hurt."

She stood frozen, her eyes slowly turning red. It was the first time in all these years I had ever just told her I was in pain.

At the hospital exit, I stopped.

"Let's get a divorce," I said without looking back. "Even if the compatibility test is a match, I will decide on my own whether to proceed with the donation. But no matter what I decide, this marriage is over."

Claire went pale. "Ev, let's talk about this at home. You need to rest."

"I know you're in a tough spot," I said. "Daniel is sick. Lily is young. You feel responsible. You feel guilty. I get it all."

"But understanding it doesn't mean I can accept it. I can't accept being dead last forever. I can't accept that every time something goes wrong, I'm the one who has to step back."

Her phone suddenly rang.

Claire glanced at the screen. It was Lily's teacher, Ms. Carter.

"Answer it," I said.

She picked up.

"Ms. Bennett, Lily just ran out of the school," Ms. Carter's voice was frantic. "The school has initiated a search and we've called 911. Someone saw her running across the street. Can you get here right now?"

Claire shot to her feet.

I looked down, my fingers curling into the fabric of my jacket.

"Ev, I—"

"Go," I said, looking up at her. "Lily needs you."

She squeezed her eyes shut. "I'm on my way."

She reached out, wanting to hug me, but stopped halfway and pulled her hand back. "Go home and rest. We will talk this out tonight. I promise."

She turned and practically ran for the doors, her footsteps fading down the corridor.

I leaned against the cold hospital wall and closed my eyes.

Claire.

I'm not waiting for you anymore.