Chapter 1
"Mom, was I adopted?"
The chair beside me was still empty.
I turned from the school auditorium doors to look at Lily.
She was sitting in the front row with her folded program in her lap, her white cardigan buttoned all the way to her throat.
Behind us, parents shifted in their seats and lifted their phones. Someone's father was trying to get a better angle with a camcorder.
"What?" I asked.
Lily ran one finger along the edge of the program. "Was I?"
"No, honey. Why would you think that?"
She looked toward the doors again. "Dad knows Tyler's stuff."
I waited.
"Like when Tyler has a game, or a doctor thing, or when he gets in trouble." Her voice stayed soft. "Maybe Dad doesn't know I have things yet."
The auditorium lights blinked twice. Miss Adams stepped onto the low stage and asked the parents to take their seats.
"Dad knows," I said. The words came out too quickly. "He helped you practice last night, remember?"
Lily nodded. Jake had sat at our kitchen table after dinner, listening while she read the same page three times. He had corrected the way she said adventure and promised he would be in the front row.
Her name was third on the program.
I checked my phone one more time. There was nothing from Jake.
When Miss Adams called Lily's name, she climbed the two small steps to the stage with both hands wrapped around her reading folder. Before she opened it, her eyes swept over the room. They stopped on the chair beside me.
Then she began.
She read clearly, a little too quickly at first, then steadier as she reached the part she had practiced with Jake. Parents clapped when she finished. I clapped until my palms hurt.
My phone buzzed just as she came down from the stage.
I'm sorry. Tyler had a rough day at school. Rachel's stuck at work and the counselor asked for me. I can't get there in time. Tell Lily I'm sorry. I'll call tonight.
I stared at the message while Lily made her way back to me.
"Did he get lost?" she asked.
"Dad had to help Tyler with something."
She nodded once, as if I had confirmed a weather report.
"Was that the part Dad was coming for?"
"Yes."
"Okay." She slipped her hand into mine. "You saw it."
After the showcase, I helped stack chairs and returned a box of reading folders to my classroom. Lily sat on the edge of my desk, swinging her legs and eating the granola bar I kept in the top drawer.
"Do you want to call Dad?" I asked.
She shook her head. "He said he'll call."
It was not defiance. It was a rule she had learned.
Jake called on the drive home. His name glowed across the dashboard screen. I answered through the car speakers.
"How was she?" he asked.
I tightened my hands around the steering wheel. "She did well."
"Put her on?"
I glanced at Lily in the rearview mirror. She was looking out the window, tracing shapes in the fog her breath had left on the glass.
"She's tired," I said.
There was a pause. "Em, I know I promised. Tyler left school after a fight with another kid. Rachel couldn't leave work. I had to go."
"I know."
"I'll make it up to her."
The words landed between us, familiar enough that I had nothing left to say to them. When we got home, Lily took off her shoes and put her folder on the kitchen counter. She did not ask whether Dad would be home for dinner.
Jake came in after eight. He had changed out of his station shirt, but he still looked worn down. In one hand he carried a paper bag from the bakery near the firehouse.
"Hey, bug," he said carefully.
Lily looked up from the couch. "Hi."
He set the bag on the coffee table. "I brought those cinnamon twists you like."
Her face softened for half a second. Then she looked at the bag instead of him.
"I'm sorry I missed your reading," Jake said. He crouched in front of her. "Mom showed me the video. You did really good."
"You watched it?"
"I did."
"All of it?"
"All of it."
Lily thought about that. "Okay."
Jake reached for her hand. "I'll take you for pancakes Saturday. Just us."
She gave a small nod, but she did not smile.
Later, after Jake had gone upstairs to shower, I found Lily in bed with Bunny tucked under her chin.
"Mom?" she whispered.
"Yeah?"
"Next time, can you sit by the door?"
"Why?"
She yawned and pulled the blanket higher. "So if Dad comes, you can tell me."
I sat beside her in the dark, listening to the shower run down the hall.
"I'll be there," I said.
Lily nodded, already drifting off.
She had stopped asking whether he would come.