Chapter 1
"Why do you have to leave?" I whispered against his hard chest.
I was trying hard not to cry.
"I have to do this.
I will be home before you know it." He ran a hand through my hair, and kept me pressed against him.
My arms gripped the back of his shirt tight in my fists.
"Four years, Logan."
"We will write each other and call when I have service.
This will work, Sarah.
I know it will." Nineteen years old and joining the Marines.
He was too young, but no matter what I did to try and convince him not to go, he wouldn't listen; his mind was made up.
I have known about this day for the last three months, but nothing could have prepared me for saying goodbye to the man I loved.
Yes, I was only eighteen and, in my parents' words, "not sure what true love was," but I loved Logan Warren with everything in me, so it had to be true love.
It was killing me knowing I wouldn't be able to see him for four years, especially when I'd seen him every day for the past two.
Sure, he could come home for a week here and there, but that isn't the same thing.
I wanted him here with me, safe and sound.
God knows what would happen overseas, and I dreaded the thought every single day after he told me he wanted to join the Marine Corps.
Logan had to go and be a hero.
If only he could stay here and go to college on that football scholarship.
We had it all planned too.
Go to the same college, move in together, and later get married and have kids.
Now that dream seemed so far away.
So, while he was away getting shot at, I would be here safe at college working toward a nursing degree.
I hated the idea of being on my own without him by my side but I knew he had to do this.
If I made him stay home, he would end up resenting me so much; I couldn't have that.
"Sweetie, his flight is about to leave," my mom said softly, next to me.
I heard her, but I didn't want to let go.
I knew Logan needed to leave and that his own family wanted to say goodbye again, but I couldn't move.
My feet were glued to the ground.
"I have to go, Sarah," he whispered in my ear.
His arms started to leave me, and I shook my head vigorously.
"No."
"I will call you as soon as I land." He let me go and took a step back.
My eyes welled with tears.
I promised myself I wouldn't cry, but I wasn't strong enough.
I stood back as his mother and father said their last goodbyes and hugged him.
My hands were starting to shake, so I balled them into fists at my side.
I had to be strong.
I almost lost it when I noticed his father crying and Logan's eyes were red-rimmed.
Seeing him cry made this all the more real.
"I love you guys.
Call you soon," I heard him say to them.
He started to back up, his bags in his hands, but my feet were suddenly moving.
I launched myself at my boyfriend, wrapping my arms around his neck and planting my lips to his.
I kissed him long and hard before pulling back.
"Be safe and come home to me in one piece, you hear?" My voice was thick.
"I promise.
I love you, Sarah Hartwell." Knowing he had to leave, I let him go and took a step back.
I sent him a shaky smile.
We all gathered around one another as Logan waved goodbye to us and walked away, toward security.
I stared after him as tears rolled down my face.He will be back.
He will,I thought fiercely to myself.
Little did I know, I wouldn't see Logan Warren again.
Eight years later...
"You are the sweetest nurse I have ever had."
I smiled down at the older lady.
I have been taking care of her for the past two days, and every single time I came in, she said that to me.
"Well you are my favorite patient, Mrs. Bellamy."
"You don't need to try and flatter this old lady.
Although I won't say no to some chocolates." I chuckled.
"I will have to bring in some chocolates tomorrow.
For now, you sadly have to deal with the Jell-O.
I will be back in a bit to check on you." I patted her hand before leaving her room.
I stifled a yawn as I headed to the nurses' station.
I was literally running off of caffeine and a twenty-minute power nap.
An eighteen-hour shift will make anyone tired, even a seasoned nurse.
"I thought you were off already, Sarah," one of my friends, Zoe, said as I leaned against the desk.
"Ended up taking Natalie's shift, but I am off in thirty minutes." The clock straight ahead of me showed it was eight in the morning.
I wanted nothing more than to be in bed right now.
"Isn't this your third shift this week?" I nodded, running a hand down my face.
"It is only Thursday!
You've worked basically all week."
Yes, working three twelve-hour shifts wasn't the greatest, but I didn't mind.
It was money and I had nothing else to do.
It was better than going home to an empty apartment.
"We need to get you a boyfriend," she said.
Rolling my eyes, I looked at her.
"Zoe, we've been through this."
"You don't want a boyfriend; you are fine alone.
I get it, but you work too much.
It isn't healthy." I recited the whole thing in my head.
I'd heard it a thousand times already.
"How about I set you up with someone?" another nurse, Veda, asked.
I have worked at this hospital for over four years, and I have been set up about five times by other nurses.
It never worked out, of course.
I just wasn't interested in dating.
Sure, I have gone out with guys over the years, but none of them held my interest.
None of them held a candle to the man I gave my heart to eight years ago.
"Thanks, Veda, but I am okay.
Really, guys, I am fine," I declined.
I was tired of being set up with guys that never worked out.
I was fine being single.
"Sarah—" I put up a hand to stop her.
"I am going to go home and go to bed, dreaming of how nice it is to be single." I moved around the desk to the locker in the back, where I kept my things.
"Sarah, you should go out and let your hair down.
You are twenty-six for crying out loud!
You know it isn't a sin to go out with multiple people and sleep with them.
You haven't had sex in what, three years?"
"How do you know I didn't get some last night?" I raised an eyebrow at them.
"You would be glowing if you did, and you would be more pleasant." Veda and Zoe laughed at that.
"Ha Ha.
While you two stay here and talk about my sex life, I am going home to go to bed before my next shift." I sent them a wave as I walked down the hallway to the elevator.
They may be right about the no sex in three years thing, but I was not the type of girl who had one-night stands.
Yes, I missed the touch of a guy and going out on a fun date, but I was fine with my routine life.
It was simple, easy.
As I walked to my car, the face of someone I once knew flashed through my head.
He was the one guy I truly loved, but that was gone now.
He is gone.
I would not let myself think about that, so I shook my head and cleared all thoughts of love, dating, and sex out of my mind.
Instead, I got in my car and thought about my warm bed waiting for me.